


Confinement

by herilaveur



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:47:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 56,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23184262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herilaveur/pseuds/herilaveur
Summary: Lucas imagined himself confined to his apartment with the man of his life. But to make Elliot feel good, he'd agree to anything. Even go back for 45 days to Basile's grandpa.
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 158
Kudos: 138





	1. Shock

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to make the containment measures a bit worse...but it's a fiction ;-)

_''We are at war. You have 48 hours to choose your place of confinement and you will not be allowed to leave it for 45 days except for basic necessities."_

The President's speech isn't even over yet and Elliot's already off the couch. And already he's pacing back and forth in the living room. Lucas is trying to stay focused on the speech. When the national anthem plays, he's sinking into the couch with a smile on his face.

''Be locked up for 45 days with the man of my dreams, what more could I want?''

Having no answer, he looks up. And he doesn't like what he sees at all. He knows Elliot well enough to know that it's fear on his face. Eliott looks around as if he is afraid of everything and breathes faster than usual.

"My love?"

Eliot doesn't even turn his head towards Lucas. Lucas comes closer and puts his hand on his lover's forearm. 

"Don't touch me," Eliott yells, violently ripping his arm off, as he steps back.

Lucas stands up, takes a step back, but doesn't take his eyes off Eliot. He's used to it. It happens regularly when Elliot has an episode. Except today, Elliot was fine. Since they've been on forced vacation, they were fine. At least that's what Lucas thought.

''Talk to me, Eliott.''

Eliott turns to the window and puts both hands on the ledge.

''I... I..." He's panting. 

''Just tell me how I can help you.'' Lucas says softly.

Eliott tries to catch his breath, turns around so that his back rests on the wall and slides along the wall. 

''I can't stay locked in here. I already feel trapped."

Lucas nods, trying not to panic or interpret what Eliott is saying.

''Here. Here in our house? Or in our relationship?"

Lucas' voice sounds more worried than he'd like to. And Elliot realizes that.

"Fuck, no Lucas." And finally, Elliot's eyes meet Lucas's eyes. "I want to be confined with you, baby. But I'm gonna die in here. It's too small. I feel confined. And it hasn't even started. And people will go crazy in Paris. I need some air. I need some sun. I want to be able to get out. I have to get out."

And Eliott walks through the living room, walks to the front door and out, without even putting on his shoes. Lucas hesitates. But he knows Elliot. He knows when he needs to be alone. And he knows he'll come back when it's over. Besides, he knows exactly where he is. Lucas has no doubt about that. 

So he stays home alone. Sitting there with his head in his hands, trying to think as fast as he can. Should he offer to take Eliott to his parents' country house? Should he go with him? But Eliott won't want to put up with his mother that long. Always asking him if he's taking his medication, if he's feeling well. Lucas knows Elliot hates it, but if he loves his mother... It's his phone that gets him out of his head. He picks it up without even looking at the caller.

_"Lulu?"_

It's Baz.

"Yeah."

_"Did you fucking see that? It really looks like we're going to war. You all right?"_

Lucas is looking around him instinctively. His silence must answer for him.

_''Okay. Is Eliott okay?"_

Lucas shrugs his shoulders, although Basil can't see him.

''I don't know. He's gone. He said he felt trapped."

''I'm sure he was talking about the apartment, Lulu. Not about you."

Lucas smiles. Basile really is a great friend. 

"I know, but..."

"OK" chains Basile, "then you are obliged to accept."

"Accept what?" asks Lucas puzzled.

"We're all going to my grandpa's house," yells Basile. 

Lucas isn't even thinking.

"Fuck yeah! Oh, Baz, you're a genius!"

Basile's always bragging about his skills that Lucas is already putting on his shoes. He stuffs Elliot's shoes in his backpack and starts talking organization with Basile as he walks to Elliot's shelter.

Lucas is not even surprised to learn that they have all agreed to come. Yann, Emma, Daphne, Imane, Arthur and Alexia. Sofiane is stuck in Morocco. Everybody take the groceries out of their closets and they're all leaving in the morning. Yann's taking his father's car, so he has 7 places. Arthur's mother lends them her car, as she'll be working at the hospital the whole time. But Arthur doesn't have his license yet. Lucas confirms that Eliott will be able to drive it without any problem.

He hangs up when he gets to the little belt. And runs almost to the bridge. Eliott's there. Of course he is. Lucas never doubted it. He thought he found him painting something. But he didn't. He's sitting in the corner with his head in his hands. Lucas' heart is clenched. It reminds him too much of last year. 

"My love?" whispers Lucas, putting himself at the height of Elliot.

Eliott raises his head gently, as if it required a superhuman effort. 

''We're leaving tomorrow morning,'' Lucas announces. ''We're going to Baz's grandpa's house. You won't be locked up. You can go outside and get some fresh air. The countryside awaits."

Eliott lets out two tears that run down the corner of his eye. 

"I love you, babe'' he whispers before breaking into tears in Lucas' arms.

Lucas' arms immediately encircle Eliott. He steps back gently to look at the face of the man of his life. Eliott won't be able to drive tomorrow. It's clear the stress of this germ warfare has completely overwhelmed him. Shit. We're going to have to find another solution. Lucas curses himself for still not passing his license. 

But for now, the most important thing is Eliott. So slowly, he's helping him up and taking go home. Eliott goes to bed as soon as he walks in the door. Lucas helps him undress and kisses him on the neck before going back to the living room and finding a solution with their friends. 


	2. Surprise

Lucas goes to bed at 3:00 in the morning when everything's ready. He's packed his suitcase and Eliott's. He also took the food they had in their closets. He had to gather his classes, as well as Eliott's, but he also had to take some art supplies from him. And that was the hardest part. Because as much as Lucas loves watching Eliott at work, he has no idea what equipment Eliott will need during this month and a half of confinement. But he can't take it all away. So he makes up his mind, looking at the shape of Eliott hidden under the covers.  
  
The hardest part will be to get Eliott in the car, Lucas knows that. But there's no way they're staying here. It will be much better for Elliot there to be able to get out whenever he wants. Elliot's parents are totally fine with it. 

It's the apartment doorbell ringing nonstop that wakes Lucas. He gets up before his eyes are even fully open. There's only one person who rings that way. Especially at 7:00 in the morning.

"Mika?" Lucas asks as he opens the door to his old roommate.

Mika holds him tight and then looks up and down at him.

''Kitten, why aren't you ready? Everyone downstairs. Are we ready to go."

"Are you coming?" Lucas asks in amazement, trying not to seem unpleasant.

Mika frowns and smiles. Lucas failed. It was clearly unpleasant.

''I can see you're delighted. I'm your driver. But if you don't want me, I can stay here. And so can you, by the way. People are already hitting each other in the shops, I'm sure you want to stay in Paris."

Lucas laughs and greets Camille who joins them.

''I just didn't know, that's all. That's cool."

"Is it cool?" Mika repeats, "Ungrateful son ! I thought I raised you better than this."

Camille puts her hand on Mika's shoulder to soothe him.

"Sorry," laughs Lucas as Mika's upset face, "I'm glad you're coming with us. I really am."

Mika's face lights up again and he jumps into Lucas' arms.

"This is gonna be so good," he shouts far too loudly.

Basile and Yann appear behind them. In 15 minutes, the car is loaded. Lucas moves slowly towards the bed to wake up Eliott. 

''My love? We have to leave."

Eliott grunts even though his eyes are already open, staring at the void. Lucas leans over a little more, his chest gently touching Eliott's shoulder.

"We're waiting for you in the car."

Eliott sighs and gently pushes Lucas away.

''Go it alone. I'm too tired. I can't go."

Lucas frowns and forces Eliott to look at him.

"I wouldn't leave without you, Eliott."

And Eliott gets up in the bed and looks him straight in the eye. Lucas hates it when Eliot makes that face. Nothing good ever comes of it. This minute is going to be tough, Lucas is already prepared for it. 

''I'm not going anywhere, Lucas. I'm staying right here." Eliott's tone is firm.

Lucas feels his cheeks turning red with anger. Normally, he never stands up to Eliott when he's not feeling well. But now he knows he has to push him. He knows that Elliot really needs to get out of here. He's never done that, so he's hoping they'll be okay after this fight.

''I don't care, Elliot. You're gonna get your ass in that fucking car right now. You can sleep as much as you want over there. But right now, I need you to come with me. Now."

Lucas only notices Yann, Baz and Mika waiting at their bedroom door. Eliott doesn't even seem to notice them. 

''See, Lucas. You see. You're becoming like her. Lucas, Lucille. I should've known better. You're becoming just like her. I was sure that would happen. You want to decide everything for me."

''I don't want to decide anything for you, damn it,'' Lucas screams. 

It's the first time Eliott ever compared him to Lucille... And it fucking hurts so bad. Basile's coughing and Lucas is looking at him. Baz smiles and nods at him. Lucas takes a deep breath and tries to calm down.

''You didn't want to be locked in here. We're going to Baz's grandfather's house, remember? We have to go now."

Eliott finally looks at Lucas, amazed. Then he looks at the boys helplessly watching the scene.

''Okay, go ahead. Have a good time. I'm staying here," Eliott calmly announces as he lies back, wrapped in his blanket.

Lucas climbs into bed and leans back towards Elliot.

"I'm so sorry" whisperes Lucas and kisses him on the cheek. "I hope you forgive me."

He comes out of the room, gives the boys their orders and the four of them come back, grabbing Eliott in one fell swoop, keeping him from struggling. Eliott doesn't struggle, but he plagues and insults everyone who touches him.

They help Yann to take Eliott on his shoulder and then leave the apartment, Eliott continuing to insult them. He isn't even red with anger. He doesn't even scream. He's just saying what hurts to hear. And he knows it. 

''Don't listen, he doesn't mean it'' Lucas says softly, ''I'm sorry, love. It was the only way out. I love you."

"I hate you" says eliott as yann walks across the parking lot carrying eliott on his shoulder.

"What's going on here?" signs Noée to Arthur. 

Lucas is waving at him not to worry. 

"My wonderful boyfriend needed help getting out of bed. Don't worry, he's fine. He's gonna be fine. I hope."

''Okay'' signs Noée ''I'm coming upstairs with you. We can talk during the trip."

Lucas smiles. He never thought he'd be chatting with Noée. But she looks cool, and she's Camille's best friend. And Lucas is so happy for Mika that he can expand his circle of friends for him.   
And that's when Lucas realizes they're gonna be confined with Arthur, Alexia and Noée. He stops laughing and gives her a sorry look, but Arthur gives him a sign that it's okay.

Arthur laughs as he points to Eliott and says, "We all have our own problems."

Lucas points his finger at her before he gets in the car. Eliott will never be a problem for him. Never.

So he gets into Arthur's mother's car with Mika, Camille and Noée. The seven other friends get into Yann's father's station wagon as best they can. Luckily they were able to take a roof box to bring in their many bags. But in spite of that, each of them has a bag in his lap. 

Lucas smiles at Noée who sits down next to him. He doesn't know if it looks like desertion or a holiday, but he is happy to leave the capital. 

Eliott already has his head on the window and his eyes closed. When Lucas puts his seat belt on him, Eliott grabs his hand and intertwines their fingers. 

They will be fine.


	3. Speak in silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a chapter to better integrate Noée... just 'cause I like her.

Lucas is looking at the phone Noée hands him. Since they left Paris, they talk pretty freely. Noée writes her messages and Lucas tries to answer her in sign language. 

''So he's fluctuating between manic and depressed moods?''

Lucas signals _yes_ , but types a longer answer on the phone. He doesn't want to talk about it out loud so he doesn't wake up Eliott, who's been sleeping since they left. Nor to disturb Camille and Mika who are laughing while listening to the radio.

_Luckily, it doesn't happen to him very often. But he doesn't control it. Right now, it's the stress that triggered the crisis. Seizures are always worse in this case. But in a few days, he should be back to ~~normal~~. ~~Nice.~~ ~~That's the one.~~_

Noée takes the phone out of his hands, claps it (she claps so quickly - Lucas thinks to himself) and gives it back to him.

_I know what you mean. He's always himself, even when he's not well. Don't worry, I won't judge him._

Lucas signs "I know that."

Noée smiles and claps.

_It's really nice of you to learn sign language for Arthur while he's on the device._

Lucas points to Eliott and Noée nods and taps.

_I know it was Elliot's idea. He's very personable. I've seen him meet Camille outside the asso several times._

Lucas raises his eyes from the phone, frowning and tapping on Camille's shoulder, who interrupts his animated conversation about a song with Mika.

"Have you been dating Elliot?"

Camille bursts out laughing and Mika moves her rearview mirror so she can look at Lucas.

''Do you think I don't satisfy my boyfriend enough so he needs to come see yours?'' Mika asks seriously.

Lucas feels red and puts his hand out to hide from Mika's gaze.

"I just want to know why he never told me about this."

"You'll have to ask him that," says Camille. "He asked me to teach him sign language. He wanted a surprise. So I saw him a few times to teach him."

"How many times?" asked Lucas.

I don't know. "Six. Or seven. He's a quick learner."

Lucas looks at Elliot, still asleep against the window. Their hands are still joined. Now he can't wait to find out why Elliot didn't tell him that. And why he didn't ask Lucas to come with him.

Noée gently hands him his phone.

_Sorry. I thought you knew. But don't worry, Camille would never cheat on her boyfriend. And he wouldn't go out with a busy guy. Especially not one taken with Mika's baby boyfriend._

So Lucas makes a face and signs him "I'm not a baby."

"You're my baby," confirms Mika, laughing, "my little gay baby. I taught you everything you can do, kitten."

''Shut up and watch the road instead of eavesdropping on my conversation with Noée'' laughs Lucas before he turns to her.

"I'm not listening, I'm watching," laughs Mika.

''It's worse, Mika. Look at the fucking road.''

Noée and Lucas look at each other for a moment, smiling, until Noée taps her phone and hands it to Lucas.

_Go ahead, ask._

Lucas waves that he doesn't know what she's talking about but Noée insists. 

_I know you want to ask something. Go ahead. Don't be scared, I don't bite._

Lucas looks discreetly at Mika and Camille but they're busy finding interesting music.

So, he signs: "Do you still love Arthur?"

Noée sighs softly and nods.

"Are you ok?" asks Lucas, wiggling his index and middle fingers together. It makes him smile, it's one of the first signs he learned.

"It will be okay." Noée sign in reply

Lucas takes Noée's phone and claps.

_Do you think something could happen between you two?_

Noée shrugs her shoulders and take her phone.

_I know that Alexia is your friend_

Lucas puts his hand on Noée's hand and takes the phone from her to erase what she just wrote. He tries to type as fast as he can.

_You're our friend now, too. We just want our buddy to be happy. He's had a tough enough start to the year as it is. Now it's clear Alexia's is just a friend. So if you love him, go for it, because it's clear he loves you, too._

Noée gets her phone back and gives it to Lucas.

_How often do you meddle in your friends' love lives?_

Lucas smiles and answers out loud this time. 

"Normally, never. But the guys helped me when I didn't dare to tell Elliot I loved him. And fortunately. Because I would have been so fucking sorry I didn't have him in my life. I love him so much."

Elliot don't really asleep anymore because even with his eyes closed, he's bending over slowly so he can put his head on Lucas' shoulder. Lucas turns to him and kisses his forehead. 

"You see. Love is beautiful. Even when it's hard."

Noée signs him "I agree. You two are really cute together."

And Lucas gently squeezes Elliot's hand, and he's squeezes it back.

Lucas spends the rest of the way learning a few signs from Noée, mostly farm animals. 


	4. Arrival

"Oh, the young people," calls Basile's grandfather as he watches them get out of the cars. "I knew you couldn't stay long without coming back here."

He shook Yann's hand and said "Hello" to "Marjorie" before laughing and taking her in his arms. "I'm glad you're here, Daphne." He moves forward to shake Lucas' hand and bends over to look in the car.

"Your boyfriends isn't bringing back the virus, is he?"

Lucas shakes his head. Eliott hasn't moved. His eyes are still closed, his head resting on the car window.

''No. He's just having a hard time getting through,'' confirms Lucas.

''It's just like Mommy,'' Basil explains. 

Grandpa raises his arms to the sky. 

"Another crazy man. But why didn't you tell me? We'll have a lot of fun if he's in crisis. One day, my daughter-in-law decided to go to the city, on the back of a cow. She spent six hours trying to get on the poor cow's back."

"She made it, Grandpa," Basile laughs.

''Yeah. But she never made it to town. I love bipolar people, they're a breath of fresh air."

And he goes off to Mika, Camille and Noah expecting Lucas not to answer him. At the same time, Lucas is used to Basile's grandpa and he laughs as he turns to watch the show offered by his former roommate.

''Welcome to my house, newbies. Call me Louis."

''Mika'' said the young man as he reached out his hand. 

The grandpa grabs it and points the index finger of his left hand at Mika.

''You, You're gay.'' He says.

''I am. A hundred percent," Mika confirms, smiling.

''Good, good. I guess this big guy's all yours the way he's looking at you."

Camille shakes his hand. 

''Camille. Nice to meet you. Thank you for having us."

Basil's grandfather takes one step back and looks at Camille like he has two heads. 

"Gay and deaf?" He turns to Basile and says, "Don't you have any normal friends, boubou?"

"Grandpa'' moans Basil as his friends laugh at the totally inappropriate thoughts of this strange man ''Sorry Camille, my grandfather is impossible''.

Louis shrugs and turns to Camille.

"Well... Life hasn't spoiled you. But at least you're beautiful. Welcome to my special anti-virus camp."

He turns to Noée.

"What's wrong with you?" he laughs as he hugs her.

"Noée is deaf and dumb, Grandpa" says Basile as he joins them. "You have to talk to her face and she'll read your lips."

''Welcome Noée. Come on, I'll show you around. Have you ever seen a farm?"

She starts laughing and signs. It's Lucas who translates, proud to understand his gestures. 

''She says she grew up on a farm. She used to broody the hens and raise the chicks before they were sold."

"I'll leave the chickens' chores to her," suggests Imane as she gets her things out of the car. "With joy!"

Louis turns again to his grandson.

"Don't you have any transgender friends?"

All the kids look at him, and Camille signs to Noée the amazing request from Basile's grandpa.

"No, why?"

Louis shrugs his shoulders.

"I saw it on TV. I would have loved to have met one. I would have had a lot of questions to ask."

"Fuck, it's a good thing he doesn't know any." Lucas whispers to Yann. "He's really politically incorrect."

"But so funny" laughs Yann. "Come on, let's get your lunatic out of the car."

Lucas hits him on the forearm.

"Don't call him that."

"You see," said Yann, raising his eyebrows, "you didn't tell Louis but you hit me."

"Yeah. The boubou grandpa has privileges because he's old."

"And because we come to take refuge in his house", Yann says.

"Totally."

Lucas opens the car door. Eliott is startled and opens his eyes. 

"My love? We've arrived."

Elliot looks around.

"Where are we?"

Lucas stoops to his level and strokes his cheek. He smiles when Elliot doesn't stop him.

"At Basile's grandpa's house. We'll stay here during the confinement. Remember?"

Eliott seems to shrugs his shoulders and smiles. 

"Do you want to come to our room? "Ask quietly for Lucas.

"Yeah. Definitely." Eliott confirms as he gets out of the car.

"I guess I'm not carrying you?" asks Yann, smiling.

Eliott looks at him surprised then suddenly his mouth opens as his eyes widen.

"Fucking hell." He turns to Lucas. "Fuck Lucas. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Fucking guys."

Lucas stop him and puts his arms around him. ''Come on. It's all right. It's okay. Everybody's okay.''

"I didn't mean it." Eliott says looking at Yann and then at Lucas.

''We know. I told them." Lucas replies, taking Eliott to the farm. "You can tell them again when you get better, love."

Eliott let himself be led to their room and huddles in Lucas' arms.

''I love you so much, Lucas. I'm so sorry. Thank you for not leaving me alone."

Lucas bends over to kiss him. He hesitates but puts his lips on Eliott's lips anyway.

''Never again, my love. You will never be alone again."

And Eliott seems to think, and then he sits in bed...

''I didn't mean that, Lucas. You were never like Lucille. I'm so sorry."

Lucas takes the bowl of Elliot's face with both hands and kisses him again.

''I know your fucking brain was trying to hurt me. But my fucking brain refused to listen to that. So don't worry about it. I'm fine. I know you love me and that's why you try to take me away from you when you're hurting. So now just calm down and let me hold you."

Eliott takes his place in Lucas' arms and hugs and clings to his arm as if his life depended on it. 


	5. Polo

"Is your man all right?"

Lucas was startled before he turned around and found Louis right behind him. He was just about to go upstairs to see if Eliott was awake. 

"Dinner will be ready," said Lucas. "I was just going upstairs to see if he wants something to eat."

"I have a surprise for him," announced Louis.

And without a preamble, he puts a bunny in Lucas' hands.

"Normally I would have killed it," confided Louis, "because it's ridiculously small. It happens sometimes, it's a genetic defect. He'll never be good to eat. But my Boubou told me about the rabbit during the holidays, so like Eliott isn't well, I thought it might please him. Since he hasn't come out of his room since you guys got here two days ago, maybe it'll help him."

Lucas smiles tenderly at him as he looks at the little hairball in his hands. 

''It's just perfect. Thank you, Louis."

And there, at that moment, Lucas thought, Basile looks a lot like his grandfather after all. Louis walks past Lucas with one hand on his shoulder.

''While you're here, put it in the hutch on the far right. And when you leave, you'll take him with you. Two guys and a bunny rabbit, it's just so gay."

Lucas laughs almost runs up the stairs to the bedrooms. He knocks and then gently opens their door. Eliott sits in the bed, his back against the headboard. Before entering, Lucas gently slips the bunny into the front pocket of his hoodie.

"Are you feeling better?"

And Elliot nods his head but sighs.

"I'll never be able to look Yann, Mika and Basil in the eye again. Especially Mika. Shit."

Lucas laughs.

''We talked about this in the car. Don't worry, he knows you didn't mean it. All three of them know it. Everybody was just worried about you."

"You too?" Eliott asks without looking at him.

"I was afraid you'd be mad at me. I really pushed you over the edge. I almost kidnapped you."

"You kidnapped me" Eliott rectifies.

"Yeah. That's right. We kidnapped you. So I hope you can forgive me for that."

Eliott opens his arms and waves to Lucas to join him. Lucas walks to bed, but does not jump into Elliot's arms as he normally would. He sits gently on the edge of the bed.

So Eliott lets his arms fall to either side of his body.

''You did good, Lucas. I can't fucking thank you enough. I couldn't have stayed there. Thank you, baby. I love you."

Lucas looks at him and smiles.

"You're gonna love me more in 30 seconds."

Eliott looks at him defiantly.

''It's impossible, baby. I love you so much already. You mean everything to me. You,"

"We're having a baby." cuts Lucas off.

And he takes his hand out of his belly pocket, exposing the baby rabbit, almost asleep. 

''Oh, Lucas No. Not yet"

And Lucas puts the bunny on Elliot's belly.

''No pots and pans for him, I promise you. Louis is giving it to us. He's ours."

A huge smile cracks on Eliott's face. He pulls Lucas by his sweater so he can kiss him, careful not to run over the rabbit. 

"I love you so much, baby."

"I love you, too, my love."

And Eliott leans over to the bunny to look at it. He's white with black spots all over him. It's like somebody threw paint on his fur.

"We got a baby!" says Elliott, lifting the bunny up in his hand. "We call him Covid?"

Lucas makes a face and looks closely at his boyfriend.

"I hope you're kidding, right now."

"Yeah. I am." Eliott laughs, "What if you picked?"

Lucas does a thoughtful look and then he taps Elliot's arm, telling him he's come up with the perfect name.

"Pollock?"

"I was thinking about it, too." Elliot laughs. "But it's too long, name?"

"Yeah. Maybe it is. How about Polo?"

"Okay," nods Elliot. "Hi, Polo. Welcome with us.''

"Are you guys coming?" asks Mika through the door, sticking her head out.

"Mika" jumps Eliott. He gets out of bed after he gives Polo to Lucas. "Fuck, I'm so sorry. I swear I never thought that."

"Don't worry," says Mika softly. "I've heard it all before. But I know you didn't really mean it. I like you very much, Eliott. I know how good you are with Lucas. And I'm not talking about the way he screams your name when you pick him up."

''Damn Mika'' groans Lucas as he joins them.

''What?!'' indignant Mika ''that was a compliment. You forget that I lived with you two. "You're really not discreet, Lucas."

Eliott starts laughing, causing Lucas to sigh.

''I know you love him, Elliot,'' continues Mika ''and he made it clear why you were coming after us. So I'm sorry I pushed you like that, Elliot. I'm sorry I touched you when you couldn't stand it. We hope we did the right thing by kidnapping you. But if we didn't, you make arrangements with your boyfriend. We were just following his orders."

''Thank you, Mika. You did the right thing." confirms Eliott. "Lucas knows me better than I know myself sometimes."

"Funny," says Mika, winking at Eliott. "I say that about Camille sometimes. He knows exactly what it takes to get me to come. Despite all my experience, he surprises me. He's just so much"

''Shut up'' cuts Lucas off as he pushes him out of the room. ''It's okay, Mika. We get it. Come on, everybody, let's eat. You too, little Polo..."


	6. Undetermined bottle

"What do you think it is?" Lucas asks, showing the bottle to Eliott.

Eliott sniffs and cringe.

"Damn, it smells strong."

Emma grabs the bottle and takes a sip.

''Looks like a pear,'' she says, putting it next to Basile's grandpa's unlabelled bottles.

"Do you think it's safe to drink from the bottle with this pandemic?" asks Daphne, the septic air.

''I swear the contents of that bottle is a real disinfectant,'' Emma laughs before sitting down.

They're all on the floor in the middle of the living room. Basile brings small glasses and puts them on the floor in front of each person. He fills the glasses with Imane with soda and then turns to Eliott, looking interrogating.

''It's OK, Baz. I'm better now. You know, three days on the farm, that got me back on my feet. I can get a drink. And then it's Friday night."

He turns to Lucas and he says that.

''You do as you feel, my love.'' Confirming Lucas as he kisses him.

Emma fills the glasses with the bottle she's just tasted, then Basile hands them a paper and pencil.

''You all write down a question. We put all the papers in this box and one after the other, we pick and answer a question. But first, we drink a toast. At the Covid-19?" Basile finally said, raising his glass.

"What's the matter with you?" Daphne's indignant. "Do you know how many people it's killed?"

"To the confinement?" Baz goes on hesitates.

"To friendship," Emma says, raising her glass, followed by their friends. 

Emma is the first to pick up a piece of paper.

"What's the worst thing you've ever done when you're drunk?"

Emma laughs and pretends to think.

''There's too many.'' She laughs. ''Okay. In 10th grade, I cut Lucas' hair while he was sleeping."

Lucas makes an indignant moan and she turns to him.

''Sorry, Lucas. It was me." She turns to the others laughing, "He screamed when he woke up. He was so drunk, too, I told her he did it on his own. Sorry, Lucas."

Lucas pours himself a refill and drinks his drink announcing ''It's gonna be a long night,'' which makes everyone laugh again. Emma passes the box to Yann who pulls out a paper.

"Ok. Have you ever fucked two people at the same time?"

Yann laughs and empties his glass again, mumbling "Fucking hell. Okay. Yes."

The girls and Basile start screaming. 

"Not with me," is Emma's justification when everyone's looking at her.

Lucas doesn't say anything because he already knew. As Elliot and Mika say nothing, Yann points his finger at Lucas and then at the two boys.

"Damn Lucas, did you tell them?"

"Yeah," confirms Lucas. "I told Elliot. And Mika heard us talking about threesomes and was starting to give us advice so I told him because clearly, it's not for me. But everyone's doing whatever they want. It's cool with you."

Alexia grabs a piece of paper when Yann hands her the box.

''Have you ever wanted to have sex with anyone here? If so, with whom?"

Alexia smiles and nods and laughs.

''Damn, you're a pain in the ass. Okay. Arthur, it's obvious. Eliott, Lucas. Together or separately, moreover. And Emma."

"Anytime you want," laughs Emma and winks at her.

"Your threesome's all set," laughs Yann, winking at the boys.

"Sorry, Alexia, but no," Lucas laughs as he hugs Elliot, "I'm not sharing."

"Me neither," laughs Elliot before kissing Lucas on the temple.

Alexia laughs and hands the box to Eliott, who pulls out a piece of paper folded six ways.

''Okay. What makes you so crazy when you have sex? Has everyone been writing down ass questions?" asks Eliott before thinking, "Okay. I lose always it when Lucas gives me a hickey on the neck while he's picking me up."

Basile's smile couldn't be any bigger. Lucas slaps Eliott's arm as Mika rubs her hands together laughing.

''Fuck, Eliott.'' Lucas moans. ''Don't say shit like that. How much have you had to drink?"

Eliott shrugs his shoulders and then smiles.

''One at each paper, why? I'm not allowed to say I go crazy when you're on top and bite my neck? I don't give a shit, you know. You shouldn't care either. No shame with us."

Lucas turns tomato red and takes a piece of paper from the box, unfolds it right in front of his face like he's hiding behind it. He runs through the paper and then puts it down to empty his glass and takes it out.

"What's the best orgasm you've ever had?"

He takes his shit-eating smile and turns to Eliott.

"I've never had a real orgasm."

But his joke turns back on him long before he can say anything else.

''Oh, liar,'' exclaims Mika, ''I've heard you many times. You can't scream that much without an orgasm, it's not possible."

"Me too," confirms Basile.

"I confirm" laughs Emma.

"We all heard you," laughs Camille.

"Just kidding," Lucas yells, before others remind him that he's really too loud in bed.

"Sometimes I'm glad I'm deaf," signs Noée, laughing.

"So?" Basile asks, raising his eyebrows.

"The best? Fucking it's hard." Lucas drinks the glass Yann hands him. "OK. I'll say it's the first time I've come without being touched." He blushes and hands the box to Arthur. "Fucking hell, keep going."

But Arthur doesn't even pick up a piece of paper and puts the box on his lap.

"When you say, 'without being touched'?' You mean just by kissing?" Basile asks.

"I confess," continues Arthur. "I don't understand it either. You were kissing, and you came, and bam, is this your best orgasm?"

Lucas looks up and realizes that most of his friends are waiting for an explanation.

''No'' explains Mika ''he means he had a huge orgasm just for the pleasure of getting knocked over by Eliott. Without having to touch himself or that Eliott touches him in the end."

"Thank you," whispers Lucas, ashamed to death. 

"You're welcome," says Eliott softly before kissing him, "Anytime, baby."

Since Basile doesn't even react to Eliott's words, Lucas looks up at him. Baz is stunned.

"Fuck," he ends up saying, "I didn't even know it was possible."

''You're missing out'' says Mika ''It's really hard to control yourself not to touch each other when you wanna finish, but it's worth it.'' 

And Eliott is quick to confirm what he's saying. All eyes turn to Camille who is blushing. It's the first time Lucas has seen him blush.

''Sorry'' he ends up saying, ''I don't have any experience with this.''

"What?!" Pretending to be indignant, Lucas says, "Mika, the sex god, the greatest guru of all time, didn't he ever give you this gift?"

"I'm not... I"

"Camille always takes over," she lets go of Mika and strokes her boyfriend's arm.

"Aren't all gay couples interchangeable?" asks Basile.

"No," says Mika, smiling. "Everyone does what they like. There are no rules."

"But before, you used to be high, sometines, right?" Basile chases, receiving an elbow to the ribs from Daphne. "What?!"

"Don't worry, Daphne, I like to give your boyfriend sex education. You'll thank me for it. Yes, Basile. Personally, I hold all the positions. But I'm adjusting to the man I love."

"And don't you miss it?" Basile continues, receiving a pillow in the head from Lucas.

"No." He turns to Camille and puts his hand on her thigh. "No, babe. I finally found a man I love who loves me and makes me want to delete my grind account, so no, I don't miss it at all. I feel loved and it's a much better feeling than being able to bang an anonymous ass."

"Okay", Arthur goes on to pick up a piece of paper and says, "What's the most beautiful thing a person here does for you?"

Everyone turns to Imane who smiles to confirm that this is his question. 

Arthur looks at the boys and then Alexia and whispers a "Sorry" before looking at Noée.

"It's Noée." Arthur says, "She used her voice to talk to me."

And everyone is silent and turns to Noée.

"Can you talk?" asks Eliott.

Noée signs that she can and Camille explains that she was born hearing, so she can talk but since she can't hear herself, it's extremely difficult for her. And that she hates it so she doesn't do it.  
Then he turns to her and signs so quickly that even Arthur doesn't follow him. Noée responds to him just as quickly.

''I didn't even know she'd used her voice'', Camille ends up saying, ''Even I never heard it.''

Noée sighs and Arthur passes the box to Mika.

"What did she say?" Emma asks.

"It's personal," said Arthur.

"Hey," Lucas is indignant. "I think we've revealed a lot of personal things tonight. And for once, I'm sure it wasn't about ass."

"Yeah," confirms Camille, "it very personal tonight, even. What did you say, Noée?"

Noah smiled at Arthur and nodded.

"She said, 'Arthur, I love you,'" said Arthur, looking into her eyes.

''He wouldn't listen to me,'' Noée signs ''I panicked. I had to tell him. I'm sorry, Alexia."

Alexia signs her that she understands and that she's okay.

"And?" Emma says, "I'm sorry, Alexia, but what the fuck did you do after that?"

"I got hit by a car."


	7. Secrets

  
''Fuck, this is getting a little crazy'' finally says Eliott as Basile turns off the TV.

''It's okay,'' he reassures Lucas, ''we just have to apply online before we go out, explaining why we want to go out.''

''It's still crazy, we can't even go to the shops anymore.'' Daphne reminds him ''They're making us shopping carts with special rationing and we just have to pay for it. We can't even choose what we need."

''It's okay,'' confirms Lucas. ''Anyway, we've got plenty of food to live on for at least another two months.''

''Well, young people, I'll leave you,'' said Louis as he got up from his chair. ''Don't worry. I've got plenty of canned goods in the cellar, we'll go and see tomorrow. Anyway, we won't lack anything here. I'm glad you're here and not in Paris. It's really war over there."

Everyone is silent, thinking of the images they've just seen. Looted shops, empty houses vandalized... the French are really the most unreliable people in the world. It's really a shame for the nation.

''The drones' trick to keep an eye on us, it's like an American movie'' said Basile as he uncorked a new bottle.

''Damn it, Baz, shut up'' moans Lucas. ''First of all, I doubt a drone would come here, as we're totally lost in the countryside. Besides, we've got nothing to worry about. Except for Arthur's mother, all our families have left the Paris area. Everyone's fine."

"And my mother doesn't leave the hospital anymore", Arthur confirms.

"Nothing to be afraid of," Lucas repeats, looking at Elliot. 

''It's OK, baby,'' confirmed Eliott, holding him tight. ''I'm not gonna crack at every presidential announcement, I promise you. I'm fine. Okay. Now, let's just relax. Let's play."

They've already had a lot to drink over dinner and early evening. 

"At what?" Basile asks.

"I don't know," laughs Eliot. "Ask Google".

Basile does some research on his phone and then a huge smile cracks on his face.

''Okay. Nobody move." He fills everyone's glass. 'We take turns telling a secret about the person to our left.''

"And?" Lucas asks.

"It's a great icebreaker at parties," said Basile as he read on his phone.

"I don't think there's much ice to break," continued Lucas, "especially after last night's questions."

''You're just complaining because you're to the left of Eliott and he's had too much to drink,'' laughed Emma.

"I haven't had too much to drink," complains Eliott before laughing, "maybe just a little."

"I'll go first," said Emma. "So... Yann thinks Lucas is too dependent on Eliott."

Lucas moans and has a drink. "Damn, it's gonna be my party again."

Yann shrugs his shoulders and looks at him, looking sorry.

''Lucas is very independent'' corrects Eliott ''but it's true we're dependent on each other. And I don't care, I assume that. I fucking love you, babe."

Eliott almost throws himself on Lucas' lips who kisses him and then waves to Yann that it's good.

"Alexia..." thinks Yann. "Alexia hesitated to propose a threesome to Arthur and Noée."

"Damn," moans Alexia, "how do you know that?"

"Wow," yells Basile, "you're not denying it, either."

"No," confirms Alexia, "it's true. But I was afraid it would ruin our friendship forever. I don't think this was a good idea. Three-way love is not for me. Too jealous."

"You were probably right," confirms Noée, smiling "but thank you."

Alexia winks at her and turns to Eliott.

"Eliott... Eliott..."

"Has no secrets," jokes Eliott, and concludes with a laugh.

"Yes, I fucking do." Alexia says "Eliott thinks Lucas lied to him about his virginity."

"What?!" Lucas is outraged as he turns to his boyfriend, "Are you kidding me?"

"What?" says Elliot. "You know I don't care if you've been with other guys before me. But I can't believe a guy like you could go so long without attracting anyone. Besides, you knew how to do everything right from the start. I didn't have to teach you anything. You were so good from the beginning, I can't be your first, it's not possible."

''But you fucking are,'' confirms Lucas ''I can't believe you're doubting that. So you better believe me and I'll take the rest as a fucking compliment."

''I'll tell you,'' laughs Mika, ''he was a total fucking virgin. We talked, but after his first time... I'm glad to know you were so good because clearly he wasn't sure of himself. At all."

"Thank you, Mika, it's okay," laughs Lucas. "Long live youporn." And Lucas raises his glass to that tribute before he drinks it.

Everybody starts laughing and then they all drink out of their glasses.

"Sorry," says Eliott softly, leaning over to Lucas.

"Lucas likes to be tied up," says Eliott as he looks at their friends. 

''Eliott likes to be strangled.'' Throws Lucas as quickly as he defends himself before looking at him, eyes wide open. ''Oh, shit, I'm sorry."

''You guys are really weird,'' Imane moans.

They burst out laughing and kissing.

''Okay. Sorry. I'm calming down," promises Lucas before turning to Arthur. "Arthur... Arthur prefers to live without his hearing aids but doesn't take them off because he's afraid we feel abandoned."

Arthur looks at him in amazement so Lucas goes "I'm looking at you, man. I see you're taking them off as soon as you can."

Lucas goes on to sign, "But it's up to us to adapt for you. We all love you."

Arthur smiles and gives Lucas a hug.

"Noée..." says Arthur, signing his words "Noée didn't want to come here and Camille made her do it."

Noée nods.

"I'm sorry." She signs "I was afraid it was going to be weird. But I'm really glad I'm here after all."

"Thank you for being here," Imane laughs, "or I'd have to go to the chicken coop every morning."

"You're a much better chicken coop partner than Imane," confirms Alexia. "I'm really glad we're friends, now."

Noée thanks her and turns to Camille with a smile on her face. She takes out her phone, types a message and starts the auto playback so that her phone says what she just wrote.

_Camille disconnects his implant every time he had sex because he can't stand to hear himself moan, and he doesn't want to be the bottom, even though he loves it, because he's afraid he can't control his volume. All because some asshole once cut him off in the middle of the action to tell him he was moaning too loud._

Camille tries to rip his phone out of his hand in the middle of the sentence but she won't let him. 

Mika decomposes a bit and forces Camille to look at him.

"Is that true?"

Camille nods. 

"Holy shit," moans Mika, "we're gonna have to work on that."

He resumes his usual smile and finishes his drink.

"Your turn, baby," he says to Camille.

Camille looks at him sorry and kisses him before he talks.

"I don't want to say anything about you"

"Come on, Camille" encourages him, Lucas. "Mika has no taboos. No privacy and has absolutely no respect for ours."

Camille sighs, kisses her boyfriend and empties her glass.

"Mika...I don't know." Camille gets discouraged.

"Go ahead" encourage Mika. "I promise I won't hold it against you."

"Mika keeps a picture of him kissing a guy in her wallet, under her license."

"Shit," yells Mika, pulling his hand out of Camille's lap, "are you going through my stuff?"

"No," Camille says calmly, "You asked me to take your license to copy it for your bartender's license and I dropped the picture."

Mika seems hurt, his eyes suddenly sparkle, tears he holds back.

''Fuck, couldn't you have said something sexual?'' he complains as he drinks his drink. ''Sorry. Sorry. I said I wouldn't hold it against you. Sorry."

Mika wipes a tear from the corner of his eye, empties his glass and fills it up just as fast.

"Mika" says softly to Lucas, confiscating the bottle, "I think you've had enough."

"You're right," confirmed Mika wiping away more tears. "It's over. I can't do it."

And Mika puts his glass on the floor in a deadly silence, before getting up and leaving the living room by slamming the door.


	8. Memories

"Do not move," asks Lucas to Camille, getting up faster than him. "I'll take care of it. I know you love her. And I swear he loves you very much too. He's like my big brother. I have to go see him."

Camille nods and sits down with Noée holding her hand.

Lucas goes up to Mika's room, but it's empty. He goes through all the rooms in the hallway to his own. Mika is there, lying on Eliott and Lucas' bed. That makes Lucas smile, because it means he was right. Mika wanted Lucas to find him. 

He comes up to him and takes him in his arms. He's already seen Mika crying. For a movie. Really not often, and he always ended up laughing at himself. But never for a real story. Lucas never saw him like that.

''I'm sorry, Lucas'' says to Mika, drying her tears.

"I don't want to hear about it, Mika" says quietly to Lucas, "unless you want to talk about it."

Mika sits down in front of Lucas, bending her legs under him.

''Eliott really taught you how to listen,'' Mika remarks.

Lucas nods and takes Mika's hand in his own.

''You always listened to me, Mika. You've guided me. You gave me a home. You helped me when I suffered through having to come out of the fucking closet. I was such an arrogant little prick, and yet you were always there for me. Then I'll be there for you, my favorite guru. Just tell me what you need."

"Can I sleep here tonight?"

"Of course." Accept Lucas without hesitation.

Mika lies down on the edge of the bed and pulls Lucas' arm to wrap himself around him, making him the little spoon. 

They adjust themselves and stay a few minutes in perfect silence.

"In the picture" ends up whispering Mika ''he's the first love of my life. The only one in fact, before Camille. His name was Timothée. We grew up together. Our moms shared a room in the maternity ward, we were born the same day. I have no memory of my childhood without him, our moms were the best friends in the world."

Mika sniffs and wipes her tears. Lucas tightens his grip on him, but says nothing.

''When we turned 15, he kissed me. I never thought of him like that, so I pushed him away. And then I realized I loved him. So we went out. No one knew. For two years. We were so happy. And then my dad caught us one day in my room. We were just kissing. Luckily we weren't naked yet. He called Tim's dad to come get him. When Tim left, my dad beat me up. He hit me so hard, I woke up two days later in the hospital."

Lucas is trying to control his breathing so Mika doesn't realize he can't stop crying. But Mika does realize it, because he gently caresses the top of his former roommate's hand.

''Tim's father was so angry with his son, he drove way too fast. He lost control of his car and he fired straight into a curve. They both died instantly."

"Goddamn it," Lucas blows out before he cries.

Mika tightens up on him and lets his tears flow, too. 

''I ran away from the hospital. I never saw my family since. For two months, I drowned my sorrow in alcohol and drugs. I was a total mess. Then I went to his grave and decided to accept myself. For Tim. For everyone who died just because they loved another guy. So I took the train to Paris and I became the gay, always happy, always ready to party. Because Tim would have loved that. For me to take on so much. And because I'm fucking alive. I owe it to him to enjoy it to the fullest. But I couldn't let anyone else love me but him. So I just kept going, I just kept going with the plans."

Mika taps Lucas' hand twice.

''And then you came in. Seventeen years old, gay but totally repressed, big trouble with your parents, nowhere to go... ...I felt like I was seeing me and Tim. So I wanted to help you. And then Eliott is coming. I saw you change. And I've been thinking a lot about Tim. About what he would have said to you. But also what he would have wanted for me. And then I met Camille. I wasn't planning on seeing him again, I just thought I'd add him to my list. But he made his way into my life. He showed me that I had a right to be loved. And it's really hard sometimes, because I feel like he's taking the place that Tim should have had. I love Camille. I really love Camille. But I'm terrified. And when he realizes that I'm still going to love Tim..."

Mika bursts into tears, followed closely by Lucas. They're both like this, spooning, crying when Eliott gently pushes the bedroom door.   
He takes off his shoes and picks up the duvet left at the bottom of the bed so that he can put it on the two boys, then he slips gently into Lucas' back so that he can put his arms around his waist. 

They fall asleep like that, all three of them spoon-feeding, in silence.

When Lucas wakes up, he can't help but startle when he sees Mika hugging him. 

''Relax, baby, it's all right,'' Eliott reassures him.

Lucas had forgotten that Mika was in their bed. He looks at him tenderly, but his gaze quickly shifts to the door that opens. He understands that it was the sound of someone knocking on the door that woke him up.

"Threesomes?" asks Basile, smiling.

Lucas gives him a finger and sits quietly in bed.

"Breakfast is ready," Basile continues. 

Mika rubs her eyes, still red from crying, and looks at Lucas next to him before putting her hand on his.

''Thank you very much, Lucas. I'm going to talk to Camille. I need to talk to her about it."

Lucas nods his head. 

''We all come with our stories, Mika. You're in love with Camille. You accept her with her story. He loves you. "He will understand and accept you. Your story is part of you, it's what made you what you are today. So don't worry. And I'm here whenever you want me.''

''Thank you Lucas. And thank you Elliot, for the hospitality.'' Mika says, smiling.

"Anytime," says Elliot, "you snore less than Basile."

Basile tosses him a finger and starts laughing before he goes back out into the hall. 

When they arrive at the breakfast table, Lucas thanks them for not waking them up for the morning chores and promises to make up for it. 

Camille is tense and doesn't dare look at Mika.

"Camille, I'm really sorry," says Mika, looking at him. "We need to talk."

Camille's face breaks and Mika almost jumps over the table to get to him as soon as possible.

''No, baby, I love you. I'm sorry about yesterday."

Mika takes a breath and looks at all his friends.

''The boy in the picture, that's Timothée. He was my best friend and my first love. At 17, he was in a car accident with his father because his father was too upset to focus on the road because his son was gay.I'm sorry about last night. And I'd ask you not to talk about it anymore. Thank you "

He turns to Camille and puts his hands on each side of her face.

''Except for you. I need to talk to you. I really love you, Camille. And it fucking terrifies me. I didn't know how to talk to you about him without feeling guilty about the two of you.''

Camille kisses him, slipping a few "I love you" in between the kisses, "You deserve so much love." He ends up whispering.

''OK,'' says Mika, turning to the table, ''I suggest you go check out that jar thing in the basement because we're going to settle this in our room with Camille and he's not going to disconnect his fucking implant because there's no way he's going to do that every time.''

''I love young people!'' Louis says as Mika and Camille leave the room ''You're a real TV show. You're a real entertainment."


	9. Cellar

For 30 minutes, they thought Mika was kidding. Then they started to hear them. Then they split into two groups: Emma, Noée, Arthur and Alexia went out into the farmyard while Basile, Yann, Imane, Eliott and Lucas went to the cellar.

Daphné wasn't at breakfast, and Basile doesn't want to comment on this.

Louis opens the cellar door, and Lucas' blood freezes instantly. 

"Don't be afraid, baby," whispers Eliott in his ear, "I'm staying with you."

Lucas sighs and walks down the stairs in the dark. He makes a moan of relief when Yann finally finds the switch at the bottom of the stairs. In front of them is a sort of vaulted corridor, and there are three doors at the end. 

"Shall we each search a room?" Yann asks, pointing to the doors.

"No way I'm going in there alone!" Lucas protests.

Eliott starts laughing and puts his arm around his boyfriend's waist.

"It's okay, baby, we'll stay together."

Eliott pushes the door to their right and they start screaming at the same time, which makes Yann and Basile scream at the same time. That's when they realise that Imane is still at the bottom of the stairs.

''I'll leave you to it'' she says before going back up.

Eliott starts laughing as he lights up with his phone what they thought was a silhouette in the middle of the room. It's just a sack of potatoes with a bucket on top. He presses the switch in the small room but nothing happens. Then he sweeps the room with his cell phone light. 

''At least we'll have potatoes and pumpkins,'' he laughs, ''that's all there is here. And two old bikes that look older than Grandpa Louis."

Lucas hugs him and they go back to the central corridor. Yann pushes the next door with his foot and they hold their breath, but this time, no one shouts. 

"Not afraid?" Eliott asks softly as he enters the room.

"Shut up" grunts Lucas without moving away from his boyfriend.

This time, the switch is on. Basile comes over to look at the cans and starts laughing.

''Shit. These were made by my grandmother."

"And?" asks Yann as he tries to read the dusty labels.

"She died when I was 10."

"I'd never eat that," concluded Lucas, resting a jar of dodgy green beans. 

''These are from 2018 and 2019'' says Yann pointing to two full shelves.

''It's good, we'll have enough to hold a seat'' concludes Eliott by taking a jar of beets. 

Yann finds two wooden crates in a corner of the room and they stack a few fresh cans inside.

"Shall we go and see next door?" asks Basile.

''No'' moans Lucas ''we found the cans, why would we want to hang out here? We're taking what we need and getting out, right?"

"Wait for us here if you want," suggests Yann. "Let's just go and see."

The three boys start to move so Lucas follows them. There's no way he'll stay alone in one of his rooms. 

Basile opens the door with one blow. Here too, the light works, which is very reassuring for Lucas. There are tons of boxes there. Basile goes to the first one and opens it.

''Oh look, illegal radio equipment'' shows Basile taking it out of the box.

"Damn, that's a fucking collector's item, man," says Eliott as he joins him. 

The boys start going through the boxes until the light flickers and then they cut it all off, causing them to scream again. In a panic, Lucas's back hits the door and the door slams, which makes them jump and scream even louder. 

Eliott is the first to get his act together and laugh when he turns on the light on his phone. He goes directly to Lucas to take him in his arms.

"It's okay, baby, I'm here."

"Are you okay, Lucas?" Yann asks, looking at him. It's clear that Lucas is not okay at all.

"I have to go back upstairs", Lucas explains.

He gets out of Elliot's arms and tries to open the door but nothing happens. He starts again, trying to pull the handle harder, but it won't go down.

''Really hilarious, Lucas,'' laughs Basile.

Eliott slowly shifts his boyfriend and tries to open the door but it's really stuck.

''Okay. We just have to wait for the others to come and find us," says Elliot.

"Shit," Basile complains, looking at his phone, "I can't get a signal."

''I can't just stay locked in here,'' says Lucas, gasping, ''I'm gonna die. We're all gonna die."

Just as Eliott is taking him on, a little mouse crosses the room, causing the highest howl Lucas can make.

"Fucking Lucas" groans as Eliott, pushing him away in a reflex. "My ear."

Lucas jumps on his feet and starts panting.

''Sounds like a horror movie,'' he groans.

"It's only a mouse" laughs Yann. 

A crackling sound is heard right next to them. 

"What the fuck was that?" Basile panics.

"It must be the others." Quiet Eliott.

They spend the next ten minutes calling their friends... to no avail.

Eliott's phone announces the end of its battery life and cuts out. Basile pulls out his, explaining that he hasn't thought about charging it either.  
Lucas starts to panic. He doesn't have his, and neither does Yann.

A crackling sound can be heard again. It's like someone stepped on a branch of wood. Basile's cell phone cuts out at that moment.

Lucas starts sobbing.

''He's afraid of the dark'' explains Eliott.

"We know that," replies Yann.

"It's clear, we've known it for a while" confirms Basile.

Lucas sniffed then released himself from Eliott's arms.

"Look, there's some light there."

He grabs Eliott's hand to show him a little bit of light behind some boxes. The boys grope their way to them, and together they push several boxes before they discover some kind of small, dimly lit tunnel.

"We'd have to crawl through it," says Eliott, putting his head in the tunnel.

''I'm going in'' says Lucas.

"Wait." stops him. "You don't even know where it's going."

"There's a light" shows Lucas "so it's got to go outside. I'm coming out and I'm coming to open you up."

He kisses Elliot, then crawls on all fours and crawls into the tunnel. In less than a minute,he disappears around a bend. Less than two minutes later, he starts screaming. 

The three boys call out to him but get no answer. Just as Eliott is about to enter the tunnel, a shot rings out and Lucas screams again. 


	10. unexpected encounter

''Fucking hell'' Eliott yells and then he goes into the tunnel and screams "Lucas? Lucas? Are you okay?"

He tries to crawl as fast as he can, but it's too narrow. And dirty. His hands are slipping on the huge amount of dust in the tunnel. The further he crawls, the brighter the tunnel gets and the more worried Eliott gets. He keeps calling Lucas but gets no answer.   
He lies down in the dirt to be able to follow the curve of the tunnel and suddenly he is blinded by the light. He climbs out of the tunnel and sees Lucas standing with his hands on his head.

"Luc"

A silhouette emerges in front of Lucas and points his rifle at Eliott. A man who must be even older than Basil's grandfather and who seems really angry.

''Ta goule horsain. Robbing you, is that it?"

"Not at all, we're living at Louis Savary."

Eliott steps forward, wanting to get closer to Lucas but the man starts screaming, brandishing his gun. The old man doesn't look particularly bad. He mostly looks scared. And that's even worse. Fear can make people do stupid things. Eliott sees that enough when he watches the news and the situation in France, which keeps getting worse and worse. People are robbing stores and looting houses. And it's no longer limited to the capital, it can be seen almost everywhere in the provinces as well. 

"A catouns"

Eliott looks at him totally lost and the man repeats. The two boys look at each other totally lost and scared, not knowing what to do.

"We don't speak your language," says Eliott softly, but the man doesn't even seem to be listening.

In the tunnel, Basile shouts their names and Eliott suspects that he will soon arrive. He looks around them. They are in a clearing lined with trees. There are two houses as far as the eye can see: Louis' farm and a small wooden house. Probably that old fool's.

The man shouts "A catouns" again and fires a shot in the air. Eliott freezes on the spot and can't take his eyes off the man. Lucas took a step back while the man fired in the air and is now in front of Eliott, his hands still raised in front of him as a sign of peace.

As the man screams again, Basile exits the tunnel and the man points his gun at him.

"Oh-oh" said Basile softly, raising his hands in front of him ''Boujou byin Raymond. Héreus dé vos vei. Yêt-ous d'allaunt ?'' He points to Elliott and Lucas and says "Amin"...

The man puts down his rifle and puts it against a tree, a huge smile filling his face. He's about to take Basile in his arms, but Basile backs away at the last moment.

"Coronavirus, Raymond" laughs Basile. "Cha va t-i?"

"Cha va" replies the old man, greeting Basile with his hand. "J'afforillaer...a little.''

Basile starts laughing and looks at Lucas and Eliott who haven't moved from their places. 

''We were locked in the cellar. We found a secret passage and here we are."

Yann gets out of the tunnel just then.

"Sorry, kids" said the grandpa as he greeted Lucas and then Eliott. He continues talking to Basile in this language totally unknown to the boys, then gets his gun and goes home. 

"A s'vei !" Basile says before waving to his friends and walking towards the farm.

"What language was that?" asks Eliott when he realizes that the man has gone home.

"It's Norman patois," explains Basile. "Some old people only speak in patois. He'd tell you to get down on your knees."

"I'd never seen a real gun before," said Lucas suddenly. "I thought I was gonna pee myself."

"Me too, baby." Eliott admits, holding Lucas close. "I was so fucking scared for you."

"For the peace and quiet of the countryside we'll come back", laughs Yann. "I never thought we'd be threatened with a gun. We'll have to put that in our review report."

"It was just a pellet gun, baby bands." Basil laughs. "Even if he'd shot you, it would've hurt, but you wouldn't have died. Raymond is not a bad man. He's just afraid of getting robbed because of the lack of supplies. It must remind him too much of the war, I think."

They barely made it into the farmyard when Alexia jumping at them.

''What the hell are you doing out there! You'll never guess what's happening to us."

''Fuck, I bet you don't either.! '' says Lucas and the boys start laughing.

"Hurry up," yells Imane across the yard. "We need help."

"Fuckin' hell," Eliott grumbles, pressing "I thought we were supposed to be quiet in the country."


	11. Missing

''Ok" begins Emma when the four boys join them, "so we asked Noée how she kept herself busy when she was little and lived on a farm. She told us that she and her sisters loved to play hide-and-seek."

''I told her it would be weird,'' Alexia said, ''because she couldn't hear us telling her when to come out if we stopped playing. Arthur didn't take it well. But I swear to God, there was nothing wrong with it. So he took off his hearing aids and left."

She takes the hearing aids out of her pocket as some kind of evidence.

''I told them that if after 20 minutes I hadn't found them, they should come out. But they didn't hear anything, they were already turning their backs on us...'' continues Imane. ''I found Emma and Alexia after five minutes... and now we really don't know where to look. It's been almost 40 minutes already, actually."

"We've looked everywhere," Alexia explains, "but they're nowhere to be found. So we're really starting to get worried.''

The four boys look at each other smiling and then Lucas, Elliot and Yann burst out laughing.

"Is this your emergency?" laughs Lucas. "They're probably making out in the corner."

"It's clear!" confirms Eliott. "Arthur seemed really worried about his last days. Like he had a lot on his mind."

"I don't know if it had anything to do with Noée," said Basile softly.

"Really?" asks Lucas, surprised. "Do you think he's in trouble?"

Basile shrugs his shoulders, sighs and seems to be thinking.

"Fucking Baz" complains Yann. "You're not telling us anything about Daphné, you're not telling us anything about Arthur. What's wrong with them?"

Basile looks at him like he's slapped him. "It's me, fuck. But I'm trying to do the best I can, okay? I'm handling it."

"Noée" sudden scream Alexia with big signs that say, "Fuck, we were scared."

Basile couldn't have wished for a better opportunity to cut this conversation short, and he turns his back on his friends and turns to Noée, who joins them smiling.

"Did I win?" sign Noée.

"No," signed Elliot, "Arthur is still missing."

Noée looks at her watch and signs softly.

"He told me to get out at 11:00am. It's weird he didn't go out too."

"Do you know where he went?" signs Elliott. 

"He told me he was going behind the farm."

Noée waves them off, and they go around the farm. Lucas tries to get closer to Basile, but Basile starts walking faster, head down, fists in his pockets.

They all meet behind the farm and continue their search.

"Why did you take classes with Camille?" Lucas asks Eliott softly, while walking.

Eliott doesn't even seem surprised.

"I wanted to surprise Arthur. First of all, because he's my friend. And because when I'm depressed I hear everything that's going on around me, but I can't react. He's the opposite. He can react but he can't hear anything. So I wanted to be able to communicate with him without forcing him to use his devices. I know how difficult it is to be dependent on something to function properly. If I could do without it, as he did, I would."

Lucas stops walking and puts his hand on Elliot's arm to make him stop too.

''I know, my love. And it's really nice of you to think of all this. But why didn't you offer me a chance to learn with you?"

Eliott shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

''I don't know'' he finally confided ''I didn't want to impose this on you. I wanted it from you. Not that you do it just for me."

Lucas seems to be thinking.

''I'm such a shitty friend. I should have had that idea, too, instead of waiting for Arthur to tell us."

Eliott immediately takes him in his arms.

"No" corrects Elliot. "You're a wonderful friend. But you're just 18 years old. You can't think of everything, Lucas. I should have told you, I'm sorry. I was afraid you'd tell me it was a bad idea and I was piling up too much at once. I just wanted to do it."

Lucas tiptoes around so he can kiss eliott. As he looks up at his boyfriend, he pushes Eliott's head up to kiss him so he can look over his shoulder.

"It's not called a wind," Alexia says, laughing behind them. "It's a tornado, Eliott."

''Fuck, look, up there '' screams Lucas, pointing his finger over Eliott's shoulder.

''Lucas, stop yelling in my ears,'' Eliott complains, pushing him away before turning around to look at his boyfriend.

All the young follow Lucas' finger with their eyes. He points to the top of the Grain Silo. And indeed, halfway up the silo, on the plate that serves as a landing in the middle of the stairs, one of Arthur's legs hangs down through the safety gate.

"Holy shit" screams Basile as he runs to the bottom of the Silo. 

He jumps up and tries to grab the bottom of the ladder. Eliott and Lucas give him the short ladder and Basile climbs up the ladder. Eliott grabs the bottom rungs and hoists himself up to follow him. Basile tries to climb so fast that his foot slips on one of the rungs.

"Go slower, Basile, if you miss a rung and slip, we're dead," Eliott yells out for Basile to hear.

Basile slows down his ascent just a little bit. He's trying to coordinate every move he makes. When he reaches the mid-height landing, seeing Arthur's body heard on the slab makes his blood run cold. 

"Fucking Arthur, no."

Basile rushes towards his friend and puts his hand on his. Arthur opens his eyes instantly and tries to pull himself up with a grimace. He shows he doesn't have his hearing aid on, so Basile nods his head. Arthur lets out a few tears that Basile gently wipes with his thumb.

''Tell me where it hurts,'' Basile says, articulating heavily.

Arthur shows him his leg.

''I'm stabbed on something'' he explains, speaking much too loudly ''I was sitting there with my legs in the air waiting for the half hour to pass and I got caught in something. I can't move. It hurts too much. I screamed for a while but nobody came."

"We're here now," Basile said softly, taking Arthur's head in his lap.

Eliott drops down two rungs on the ladder so he can reach Arthur's leg. 

''Holy shit. There's a big iron pipe going into his thigh. We gotta call 911."

He pulls out his phone and Basile realises he's calling Lucas to explain the situation. After ten minutes of calling, Eliott raises both bars to talk to Basile and puts his phone on the speakerphone on the plate next to Arthur. 

''Imane called 911. They're overwhelmed by the epidemic. They said to call the village doctor. Except that here, he's sick and therefore in quarantine. We'll have to manage on our own. Fucking shit."

Basile looks at him, takes a deep breath and signs.

''Okay, Arthur. We're gonna have to get you out of here. No rescue available."

Basile sees exactly the moment in Arthur's eyes when he panics. Arthur grabs Basile's hands and squeezes them so tightly that Basile understands that he needs to hold on to him. 

''I'm sorry, Arthur.'' He says, making sure Arthur looks at his lips. ''I promise you we're gonna do the best we can.''

''I'll go down and get something to deal with the wound once we get him out of there. That doesn't sound deep. It's just in the flesh. I fucking hope he doesn't bleed to death after this."

"Eliott, don't say stuff like that," Basile yells.

"What did he say?" Arthur screams back.

"Nothing. Nothing. Everything gonna be all right." Basile replies, putting his forehead against Arthur's.

"Eliott" says Lucas on the phone. "Come down. We have compresses and bandages. And what you asked for. Don't you want me to take your place?"

"No, no, I'm fine. It's for Arthur." Eliott explains before he comes down.

Basile notices Arthur's looking at his lips so he speaks softly, articulating much more than usual.

"Remember the night you came over to my house?"

Arthur nods.

"I think about it all the time" continues Basile "I think we should"

''I have everything'' shows Eliott putting the material on the plate ''Give him that. It's my treatment. It'll knock him out. He won't feel a thing, it'll be like he's up high. Maybe even higher than he's ever been."

Arthur swallows the pill. After a few minutes, he starts laughing as he taps Basile's cheek with his hand and then gets a serious look on his face.

"You're always there for me, Baz." Arthur stops and starts laughing. "Goddamn, I can't tell you how glad I am that you're here."

"OK," confirms Eliott, "I think he's ready for this. On the count of three, I'll move his leg."

Basile nods his head and rests on his forehead against Arthur's. Eliott comes down a few bars and starts counting.

"Talk to me," asks Arthur.

Basile smiles at him, still with his forehead against his friend's forehead.

"I think we"

Arthur's persistent scream, accompanied by Eliott's cry of fear, cuts Basile, who holds Arthur against him as tightly as possible. 

"Goddamn it," shouts Arthur as he picks his leg up on the landing, "kill me, now"

Arthur moves immediately and helps Arthur take his pants off.

"Last time you undressed me, it was sexier," laughs Arthur.

''He's totally stoned.'' Basile says, shrugging his shoulders before looking at the wound. 

"I'm gonna throw up," Eliott warns, turning around. 

The wound is clean but quite deep. Basile puts the compresses on it and Eliott wraps it with a bandage.

''It deserves a fucking healing kiss,'' Arthur groans as he tries to move.

"Don't move," stops him. Basile comes back to him. "Eliott's almost done. We're gonna get you down."

"I'll bring the equipment down and we're gonna take him down" warns Eliott.

"Will you kiss me, Prince Charming?" asks Arthur, smiling.

Basile smiles and see that Eliott is well out of their sight. Arthur puts his hand on Basile's neck to force him to lean in closer. He sighs with relief as their lips touch.

"Fuck, I missed it," laughs Arthur with a drunken smile.

"Me too" whispers Basile before kissing him again.

"Oh shit" exclaims Eliott going back to them. "Fucking sorry."

"What's going on?" asks Lucas, still on speakerphone.

"Nothing," said Eliott, looking at the two boys one by one. "We're going downstairs."

Eliott helps Arthur position himself to help him get down while holding his leg, now bloody through the bandage.

They've barely put their foot down when they immediately carry Arthur into the house. Anyway, Arthur is so high up that he cannot walk. Nor can he think straight. 

''Damn, It's crazy, your medicine.'' says Imane looking at Eliott.

''Yeah. It's my rescue medication. Even for me, it's strong. So for a normal person, it's like three or four joints, I guess."

''Is it safe?'' asked Lucas, obviously concerned about the drug's probative effect.

''Yes. With just one pill within 10 minutes he should be normal."

Once in his bed, Arthur seems to relax completely. The screams of his friends are driving Mika and Camille out of their room. After a brief explanation of the situation, Camille pulls out her phone and calls a doctor friend on video. 

He shows her the wound. He promises to send them a prescription so they can go and get some locks to put in the wound and antibiotics to avoid infection. Mika goes back to his room just as quickly so that he can get dressed and drive to the pharmacy. 

''You have to make an official request'' reminds him of Imane.

''It's OK, I'll be quick.'' moans Mika.

"Wait, I'm doing it." stops Alexia. "We don't need one of us to end up in custody."

But Mika doesn't listen, he's already gone down the stairs.


	12. Confessions

"It's okay" confirmed Lucas as he slowly entered Arthur's room. "Camille got the better of Mika and they're waiting for the government's authorization to come out. Eliott tells them about our adventures in the cellar and the meeting with Raymond. And you know Eliott, he barely makes things worse."

Basile laughs softly. It seems so far away now. 

The door opens slightly behind Lucas, who shifts to the side. He's totally hidden by the door and he doesn't really mean it. 

"Are you coming, Baz?" Daphne says, "I'd like to talk to you."

"I can't leave him alone," Basile explains, tilting his head to the side. 

Lucas looks at Arthur, who's still lying on the bed, but now his eyes are open. Basile is still at his thigh and looks at Daphne.

"Basile, we really need to talk," Daphne begins in an angry tone.

"Come on, man," Arthur says quietly, "don't worry. I'm fine."

Basile jumps up and turns to Arthur.

''Hell, no, man. You're not all right. I'm gonna stay with you, as long as you need me."

Arthur nods his head and Daphne slams the door. 

Lucas looks at the door with his eyes wide open. 

"Okay, guys, you're gonna have to explain it to me now. What's wrong with Daph?"

Basile and Arthur look at each other and shrug at the same time. Arthur picks up his hearing aids that Alexia put on the bedside table and puts them in.

"What's going on with Daph? Why is she so upset?" Lucas asks Arthur.

The door opens and Lucas takes a step forward before being hidden by the door again, smiling when he realizes it's Eliott.

''I've been looking for you. Can you come over, babe?"

Lucas nods and walks out into the hallway. 

Eliott doesn't even have time to talk to him when they hear Arthur and Basile fighting. Since they're such horrible friends, instead of leaving and giving them privacy, they look at each other and then approach the door to hear better. 

"You can't do that, Baz." Arthur looks pretty angry.

"You don't get to tell me what I can and can't do."

''Hell, no. You can't just throw away a year's worth of relationships like that. You're happy with Daphne."

''I'm not fucking happy. I need more than that. I need to talk about this."

"Talk to Lucas or Eliott" suggests Arthur.

"They'll never understand. They won't be able to"

Lucas makes a little unintentional protest cry. The bedroom door opens almost immediately, almost making Lucas fall forward. Luckily Eliott grabs him by the waist just in time.

"Damn it, guys," Basile yells, "are you spying on us?"

"Yeah," confirms Eliott, while Lucas hits him on the arm. "What?! We're not gonna lie. Is there something you want to talk to us about? Is it about what I saw earlier?"

"What did you see?" Lucas asks.

Eliott lifts his chin to Basile and then Arthur. 

"Come in" signals to them Basile before closing the door behind them. 

Basile takes his place next to Arthur while Lucas and Eliott remain standing at the foot of the bed.

"Eliott saw us kissing," Basile finally says, "and it wasn't the first time."

Lucas smiles and looks at Eliott laughing.

"You see, I was right! He turns to his friends. Damn, I kept telling Eliott that. I saw the look on your face when Grandpa Louis said he'd been with men and you shouldn't die a fool. I saw how you almost kissed Arthur after his car accident. I really thought you were going to do it."

"Me too," Basile says, "it was so hard to see him like that."

"But are you in love?" Eliott asks, smiling at them.

"What the fuck about Daphne?" Lucas says, "What about your whole speech about cheating on your partner?"

Basile looks shrunk on the spot.

"It's all under control," says Arthur. "Basile is dating Daphne. They're happy. He's not gonna leave it for... for almost nothing."

"I think do it." Basile says softly, putting his hand on Arthur's. "And it's not almost nothing."

"No," Arthur protests, taking his hand away, "I'm not asking you to do that."

"Fuck. What if I want to?" Basile gets angry.

"What if you regret?" Arthur gets angry, too. "What if it ends badly? What if it ruins our friendship?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? Were you wondering what happened to our friendship when you sucked me?"

Lucas chokes on his own spit and Eliott patted him on the back. That's when the boys remember they're not alone.

"Oh, fuck," Basile moans, "you shouldn't have heard that. Damn it."

He gets up and leaves the room and slams the door. Lucas runs after him and catches up with him in the hallway.

"It's OK, Baz." he says softly, "Come on."

They go into the first available room. The sheets are all on the floor, clothes are all over the room.

''Hell no, I'm not getting on Mika's bed'' moans Lucas as he comes out of the room before he finally goes into his. He sits on the bed with his legs under him and taps the seat in front of him so that Basile can settle down.

''I think I'm in love with Arthur,'' Basile finally said, looking at his hands.

"That I understood" laughs Lucas softly. "But what happened between you?"

Basile lets out a deep sigh and lies down.

"It started right after Christmas. Arthur came to my house because he had a fight with his father. We drank a lot. I was sad because Daphne hadn't talked to me in days. And then I could tell she had been hiding something from me for a long time. And with Arthur, it was so easy to talk. We talked all night. We drank, we smoked. And then at some point, without warning, I kissed him. I wanted to. And he didn't push me away. We spent the rest of the night kissing and..."

Basile blushes and Lucas nods.

''We just touched each other. We were so excited. And then every time we kissed, we felt how the other one was hard. It was"

"I know" cuts Lucas. "I know what it's like to kiss a guy and smell his boner."

Basile looks at him blushing and smiles.

"Sorry. Right. Anyway, we never talked about it after that. New Year's Eve, he turned me on. He totally turned me on. All night long. He kept rubbing up against me when we were dancing. But by the time we kissed, he was gone. And Fuck, I thought it was because of me. But no, it was his ear. Anyway, we didn't do anything else until he left his parents' house... He rang my doorbell in the middle of the night, asking me to take him in. He wouldn't stop crying and then he kissed me. It was so fluid, so good. And then he just... you know what."

"It's okay." Lucas cut it. "You said it earlier. I have a very good visualization."

Basile puts his head down and looks at his hands again. Lucas lays his hand on Basile's hands. Basile raises his head and smiles at him.

''Don't worry, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Especially not with me. I don't care if you're attracted to guys.'' Lucas seems to remember something important and almost jumps up and says : ''But what about Daphne?"

Basile gives a big sigh.

"I really like her. But I think she's become more of a best friend to me than my girlfriend. She's keeping too many things from me. She never talks to me. And then she always makes me feel like I'm not good enough, like I can't be myself, and the more I think about it, the more I think that's not what love should be about. When I see you with Eliott, I realize he loves you, just the way you are. Even when you're a fussy baby. And you love him exactly the way he is too.''

''There are some things I like less about Eliott, but I like him exactly the way he is. With his faults, his qualities.''

"His bipolarity" continues Basile with a smile.

''And it's all thanks to you, Baz. You really helped me out on this."

''Then fucking help me, Lucas. I'm totally lost," Basile groans before he hides his head in his hands.

Lucas takes a deep sigh and then takes Basile's hands off his face.

''Okay. So first, you need to think about what you want to do with Daphne. If you don't see yourself in five or ten years with her, I don't see any point in staying together."

Basile nods his head.

"Then you have to clear it with Arthur. But he can't be the reason you and Daphne broke up. Look, I know you're against cheating, Baz. You have to be okay with what you do."

"You are the cause of the breakup between Eliott and Lucille."

Lucas is wincing. He didn't fucking expect that.

''Really? Really, Baz? Are you really gonna bring that out now?"

Basile's moving back a bit.

''Sorry, man. I was just trying to make an example. And I didn't feel like it was really cheating if I wasn't with another girl."

''Well, I think it would be. Also, for the breakup, yes and no. Eliott wanted to leave her for a while but he didn't have the guts to do it. And frankly, I just wish he'd done it before he met me. It would have saved me a lot of guilt and doubt. So I'm telling you, work out your issues with Daphne before you go any further with Arthur."

"But what if he doesn't want more?" asks Basile Wounded "Did you hear him? Almost anything?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders.

"Maybe he's protecting himself. Or maybe he doesn't want more with you. But at least he's let you see that your relationship with Daphne isn't worth it. Like Arthur and Alexia after all. She figured that out thanks to Noée and now they're both pretty cool. Either way, you two are gonna have to work it out."

The knock on the door startled them both and they both turned at the same time to the door that opened.

''Baby, can you come help me, please? I really need you right now."

Lucas looks at Eliott and then Basile.

''I'm gonna think about this, Lucas. Go ahead."

''Okay. No nonsense, boubou."

Basile grinds at his nickname and lies on Lucas' bed, sighing.

Lucas closes his bedroom door and gently kisses his boyfriend. His lips are soft and he still has that special sweet smell. Lucas feels at home.

"Lucas'' whispers Eliott gently, backing away from the kiss.

''I know,'' confirms Lucas, stealing a little kiss from Eliott's lips, ''but I needed this too much.'' 

And Eliott kisses him twice. Two quick little kisses, but tender.

"Now I need your help, baby."

"Anytime you want, Eliott" says Lucas, slipping his hand into his own.

Eliott whispering down the stairs.

''Arthur started crying and then he fell asleep. Mika and Camille are with him. Daphne's locked in her room with Emma. Alexia and Noée clean the chicken house and Imane wants me to help in the kitchen."

"I understand," laughs Lucas, "there's no way you're going to the kitchen."

"That's what I said," defends Eliott. "That's why I came looking for you. You're going to the kitchen. And I'm going with Yann to take the cans from the cellar."

"There's no way I'm going back in that fucking cellar," warns Lucas. "Never. Really never!"

"I know," laughs Eliott as he kisses his forehead, "don't worry."

They come laughing into the kitchen, finding Imane already peeling potatoes.

''We're gonna make an omelette. Can you get the eggs, please?"

"Aren't Alexia and Noah busy with that?" Lucas asks.

He only gets a shrug from his friend, so he leaves the kitchen and heads for the henhouse, still holding hands with Eliott. 

"I have to go help Yann" reminds Eliott.

Lucas shows him Yann, asleep in the living room, just in front of Louis who is also sleeping and Eliott laughs.

"Ok, I guess it can wait until this afternoon."

And when they get to the chicken coop, Lucas couldn't have been happier to have his boyfriend there because he wasn't ready to fucking see this. He just wasn't ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I saw the footage of Skam (the New Year's Eve party, the meal at Baz's grandfather's house and after the accident), I hallucinated about the looks and the way of being of Baz and Arthur...so yeah, I want them to be in love...I hope you do too...
> 
> frankly if you haven't noticed, look at the sequence at Basile's grandpa's house, the look exchanged between the two boys is just enormous...


	13. Too many changes

''What the fuck is wrong with this fucking farm?''. 

Alexia and Noée startled, separating from each other. 

"Lucas" says softly Eliott, "we should leave them."

"Shit," moans Alexia, "what the fuck are you doing here?"

"What the hell are you doing?" asked Lucas, eyes still wide open.

"You want a drawing?" signs Noée, causing Alexia and Elliot to laugh.

"This isn't funny," signs Lucas. "Why does everyone think the best time to mix couples is when we're all confined to a fucking farm? We come to get eggs and find you two kissing, what the fuck?"

The girls look at each other in amazement and then turn to Eliott, who seems genuinely amazed at her boyfriend's sudden outburst of anger.

"Who's mixing with whom?" Alexia asks.

"If it's you and Camille, I'm gonna kill him," signs Noée "and kill you."

"Hell, no," replies Lucas. "It's not our concern."

"You're right," confirms Eliott, taking the egg cans from the worktop. "It's not our concern. Have fun, girls, don't mind us. Come on, babe."

And he goes off again, pulling Lucas by the hand to the house. 

''Do you think it's gonna be weird now?'' asks Noée.

Alexia shrugs her shoulders and risks another little kiss on Noée's lips...

"I think we should talk to Arthur first," says Alexia.

Noée grabs her phone to make sure Alexia understands her.

''We talked a lot the first two days here. He's clearly onto somebody. But I don't know who. He just said he couldn't try anything because he felt bad for both of us and besides, the other person was already taken."

"Daphne?" Alexia says, "Oh, my God. Or Imane."

Noée laughs as she intertwines her fingers with Alexia's.

"Yeah, no. Probably Daphne. But he can't do that to his best friend. Wow, that's hot."

Noée gets her hand back and signs it, "He's having really bad luck in love right now."

Alexia nods but smiles.

"We have to talk to her about it, though. I don't want him to walk in on us. Worse than that, I don't want him to hear it from his friends. He's a good guy. He's the reason we've grown so close."

Alexia bends over to kiss Noée again.

''Yeah. I never would have thought that. But I finally understand exactly why he was attracted to you."

Noée gets up, laughing, and hands him her phone.

''There's one hell of a perk to being bisexual, though, right?"

Alexia nods.

''Have you ever been with a girl before? You didn't answer me yesterday morning."

Noée laughs and hands her the phone.

''I couldn't answer it with your tongue in my mouth, you impatient miss. But yeah. Several even. The girls win the game 70/30 if I count you in the game. And you?"

Alexia laughs and signs it quietly.

"With you. Fifty-fifty."

"Perfect match" signs Noée.

"I'm perfect,"

"I wouldn't argue with that," signs Noée before raising her eyebrows and standing up. 

She holds out a hand to him, which Alexia happily takes in hers before heading home. They let go of each other's hands as they enter the kitchen. Lucas is alone, beating the eggs and he gives them a sorry look.

''Sorry, girls, I'm just on edge. that our life is full of twists and turns like a TV show. I hate trouble. I just want this whole confinement to go smoothly and I'm starting to think it's gonna blow up all over the place."

''12 youngs adult and a grandpa in a house, 24 hours a day... what did you expect, Lucas'' laughs Alexia ''of course there's gonna be yelling and arguing and reconciliations. It's natural. You shouldn't have come if you didn't want this."

Lucas sighs.

''I came here mostly for Eliott.'' He admits.

''And I thank you for that,'' Eliott says softly, startled him. 

He approaches Lucas and puts two kisses on his neck. 

''It's always nice to be your friend, Lucas,'' Alexia laughs.

"I swear I'll help you relax after the lunch," whispered Eliott, while continuing to pepper Lucas' neck with tender kisses.

"No sex in my kitchen," Imane warns, taking the bowl from Lucas' hands, "you have ten minutes before eating. Get out of my way. Girls, you set the table."

The boys look at each other and walk out of the kitchen, hand in hand, laughing. As Lucas is about to go up the stairs to the bedrooms, Eliott pulls him out, dragging him to the hutches. He gently opens Polo's hutch and slides it into Lucas' arms.

"Stroking animal fur helps you relax," Eliott says softly, inviting Lucas to sit next to him. "It's scientifically proven."

Lucas sighs but performs by pretending to sulk.

"I was thinking of another way to relax," he admits without leaving his pout.

"I know," laughs Eliott, "but Baz is still in our room. "Eliott is gently stroking Polo "And our baby needed us, don't you think?"

Lucas laughs and puts the bunny on his thighs while he caresses it.

"It's actually quite soothing. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, baby, tell me."

Lucas walks up to his little one and strokes his arm with his hand.

"Do you think kissing someone of the opposite sex doesn't count as cheating?"

Eliott takes some time to think about what Lucas says before asking as calmly as possible.

"What did you do, Lucas?"

Lucas is startled and Eliott looks hurt.

"What?" he immediately becomes indignant. "I didn't do anything, Eliott. How could you think that of me"

"Then why are you asking me this? You're so weird, so angry today. Did you kiss a girl?"

"No," swears Lucas, "not since I've been going out with you. Or any other guy, for that matter. Promise. And I'm not weird. I'm just stressed at the idea that there's conflict and we're all stuck here and we can't escape it."

Eliott seems to be able to breathe again and intertwines his hand with Lucas' while continuing to caress Polo with his other hand.

"So, why do you ask?"

"Basile seems to think that kissing Arthur isn't really cheating because Daphne and Arthur are not the same sex."

"I can understand that," just says Eliott.

"What? How?" Lucas asks.

''A girl and a guy can't bring the same thing into a relationship. And they can't compete with each other. So, yeah, I understand that some people might consider that not really cheating."

"What about you?" Lucas asks quietly, unsure of himself, "What do you think?"

''I've always thought cheating is cheating. I know I cheated on Lucille with you. And vice versa, even though we were... Well, you know."

''I know,'' confirms Lucas, trying not to think back to that party when he saw Elliot kissing Lucille after he told her he needed some time. Luckily, that's a long way off.

''Then I think it's cheating. But that's my point. And I just hope you feel the same way because I don't..."

''I don't want to kiss any girl'' laughs Lucas ''ever. I'd rather go back down to the cellar."

In front of Lucas' serious air, Eliott can not help but laugh.

"If you only knew how much I love you, baby," says Eliott before leaning over to kiss him. 

And then, with Eliott's soft lips on his, his tongue playing softly with his, Lucas could forget all about it. And that's exactly what he does. He kisses his boyfriend, forgetting everything that's happened since this morning and feels his erection soar. He puts his hand on Eliott's crotch and Eliott moans softly in his mouth. At the same time, Lucas feels a hot shiver pierce his own sex. He takes two seconds to realize what is happening and pushes Eliott away while he jumps, making Polo fall on the ground. 

"Damn, he peed on me."


	14. Middle of the night

Eliott's laughter will ring in Lucas' ears until the day he dies. Lucas is looking at his phone again. 2:42...And he still hasn't slept. 

He can't even blame Polo. Getting peed on by their rabbit, even though it was gross, it was pretty funny. And to hear Eliott laugh so freely, it was truly a gift. Eliott sleeps right next to Lucas but if he concentrates well, he can still hear his crazy laugh.

Luckily the rest of the day went smoothly. Everyone went about his business while taking turns with Arthur to make sure he was well. 

And yet, Lucas still can't sleep. Tomorrow they have class for the first time, on webcam and Lucas is wondering how it will go. Not that he's interested in classes, but he's supposed to graduate in three months and Lucas doesn't want to repeat an extra year in high school. 

His breathing's starting to get labored. It's like every time he thinks about it. He turns on his side so he can look at Eliott. Sometimes it calms him down. Just watching him sleep peacefully. But right now, Lucas needs to walk, clear his head. 

So he slowly gets out of bed, without making any noise, puts on sweatpants and a t-shirt and walks out of the room with one last look at Eliott.   
He slowly descends the stairs, illuminating with the light from his phone. He moves quietly into the kitchen and turns on the small light above the hood. There are 13 person in this house and yet everything is really very quiet.

That's exactly what Lucas needed: quietness to try to make his thoughts calm.

"Trouble sleeping?"

Lucas jumped out of his chair and almost fell out. Louis is standing behind him.

"Would you like some tea?"

Lucas nods and takes his place on the chair.

"Can't you sleep, Louis?"

Basile's grandfather shrugs his shoulders.

"My internal clock doesn't care what time it is. Sometimes I sleep all day, sometimes it's all night. And since this Sunday I slept most of the day, now I'm wide awake. And you, little?"

Lucas smiles. If someone else called him little, he'd answer directly that he's not little, but with Louis, it's okay.

"Sometimes it's hard to sleep."

Clearly, that's a euphenism. Sometimes Lucas goes weeks without actually sleeping. He ends up crashing two or three hours a night until he breaks down and ends up crying in Eliott's arms. Luckily, this never happened when Eliott was hurting too. You'd think Lucas' brain would hold back when Eliott was in crisis. 

"Trouble in paradise?" Louis asks, winking at him.

"Oh, no." Lucas sighs with relief. "It's really the only thing I know for sure right now. No, I'm a little stressed about going back to school tomorrow on the internet. And then about the confinement. I'm afraid that tensions will build up and the atmosphere will become horrible. I've already lived in a house where everyone fights all day long and I don't want it to happen again. I really don't."

Louis hands him a cup and sits down in front of him.

"'Cause Basile's in love with his buddy, you know, the blond kid?"

Lucas can't help but be surprised and opens his eyes, which makes Louis laugh.

"What?" asks the grandfather, always laughing "I have eyes, you know! I've been watching him. I can see he's more on him than on his girlfriend. He's so obvious. It's even cute."

"And you with that?"

"With what?" Louis asks, "Than my boubou he in love with a boy? I don't care about homosexuals, little. Otherwise I wouldn't tolerate so many homosexuals in my house."

Lucas nods his head and laughs. It's true that between gays, pansexuals and bisexuals, in this house, well, straight people are the least numerous.

''It would be a little hypocritical to pretend I accept my grandson's gay friends and not accept that he is. Speaking of guys who get along with each other, we've been waiting for you, taller."

Lucas turns to follow Louis' gaze and smiles at Eliott.

"What are you doing here, baby?'' aks Eliott with a little worried smile.

"Let's have some tea, you want some?" Louis offers to get him a cup. 

Eliott accepts while giving Lucas a worried look. He knows that when Lucas is awake in the middle of the night it means he is not well.

"Now that I've had a good drink," says Louis after only a few minutes of discussion between the three men, "I have to pee and I'm going to bed. I'll put earplugs in, don't worry about my sleep. Your boyfriend really needs you to help him relax, taller. Come on, cheer up, little, I'm sure everybody's gonna be just fine. You're all friends, this is more important than sex stories."

He gets up and heads out into the hallway.

''Do you want to relax?'' asks Eliott, rubbing Lucas' shoulders. ''I can help you if you want.''

Lucas is writhing his neck so he can kiss his boyfriend behind him. 

"You should be asleep." Lucas remarks.

"You too, baby." Eliott says back, "Tell me what you need."

Lucas is thinking about putting his head in his hands.

''I need to not think about anything. I need to make sure we're not all gonna end up hating each other in this house. I don't want to get in the middle of a fight."

Eliott takes Lucas' hand in his and drags him down the hallway. He takes his portable speakers from his room and turns the music up. Lucas looks at him, totally stunned. In less than 5 minutes, all their friends are in the hallway. 

Imane and Emma have indomitable hairstyles, Camille and Mika are only dressed in their boxers. Yann takes her out of her room in matching pyjamas, which makes Lucas laugh. Alexia and Noée emerge from the same room while Daphné comes out of Imane and Emma's room grumbling. Basile is the last one to emerge from his room, and he is still dressed, just like last day.

"Fucking Eliott" yells Daphné over the music. "It's 3:20. What the fuck?"

''Lucas needs us to party together. Let's show there's no tension between us. So let's dance."

And Eliott starts wiggling his hips to the dreadful music coming from his phone. Basile removes Eliott's phone from the base, creating a perfect silence.

''Okay, man. I'm in. But if we're gonna dance in the middle of the night, we're gonna do it to real music."

And he puts his phone down on the base, letting _Lose Control_ replace Eliott's Dupsteb. 

Eliott grabs Basile's hands and starts wiggling with him. Emma opens the door of Arthur's room and soon all the friends are dancing around Arthur's bed, who is startled when he sees them disembark. 

Lucas lets himself go against the doorframe and watches the crazy people dancing together, just to please him and make him feel good.

Arthur laughs, now sitting on his bed. Alexia and Noée dance with Mika and Camille while Imane dances with Daphne and Emma. Yann dances with Basile and Eliott who looks at Lucas out of the corner of his eye and beckons him to join him. Which he quickly does.

The music ends and everyone stops and looks at each other with a burst of laughter. 

''Okay. We have class tomorrow." Daphne signals as she leaves the room. She retraces her steps to come to Lucas and Eliott ''Thank you guys. I think we all needed that. But if you do this another night, I'll kill you."

Lucas and Eliott nods in laughter and wave to their friends as they leave the room. 

"You're completely crazy" says Yann as he greets them, "but night clubbing is fun...now go to sleep or we'll be in for a big fight tomorrow. Besides, we'll start with the director."

"Now that we're awake, we'll just have to enjoy it," says Mika, slamming Camille's ass, who opens their bedroom door. "We don't have any classes."

"I feel sorry for those who sleep in the room next door to theirs," laughs Lucas.

Eliott bends over gently so he can whisper in his ear. "I feel sorry for those who have a room next to ours, too."

He grabs Lucas by his waist and lifts him up so Lucas puts his legs around his waist like a koala bear.

''Thanks guys, that's all I needed.'' Lucas says as he leaves Arthur's room hanging on to Eliott.

Basile and Arthur look at each other now that they're alone in the room and smile. Eliott closes the door behind him and frankly, Basile thanks him in silence. 

He sits gently on the bed next to Arthur and waves to him to see if he hears him.

''Yeah. I put my hearing aids on when I saw you dancing. I couldn't understand why everybody was dancing like that at 3:00 in the morning."

Basile shrugs his shoulders.

''To cheer up our buddy. Lucas is afraid that conflicts will arise and we'll spend our days arguing. I think it reminds him of what he was going through when he lived with his parents."

Arthur sighs.

"I don't want that at all either."

And then he turns and grinds his face when he moves his leg.

''Alexia and Noée came to see me yesterday afternoon. They're dating," says Arthur.

Basile opens his eyes and starts laughing.

''Shit, I can see why Lucas is afraid that everything is gonna blow up. I broke up with Daphne yesterday afternoon."

Arthur hits him in the forearm.

''Shit, Baz. I told you not to do that."

Basile grabs Arthur's hand to keep it in his. And to his great relief, Arthur doesn't take it back.

''I didn't do it for or because of you. I've been thinking a lot. And my relationship with Daphne just wasn't right for me anymore. It wasn't for her either. We talked a lot yesterday afternoon. We talked a lot together. We agreed that we're more friends than boyfriends. So there you go."

Arthur looks at him with a sorry expression on his face.

''And how are you? You're not too sad? You wanted to be with her so badly."

Basile smiles with a shrug.

''And it was great. But it couldn't last. I don't regret anything about our relationship, but we had to end it. We'd both rather be friends, just friends."

Basile leans over to Arthur a little more and smiles.

''And then I have someone else I like. And I like him very much."

Arthur smiles back at him and Basile's heart beats a little bit louder. 

''You're fucking abusing the mates'' shouts Emma in the corridor. ''Think of the bachelors.''

The boys startle and only then realize that moans can be heard in the other rooms. In many rooms, apparently.   
Basile lies down beside Arthur, still holding his hand in his. Arthur imitates him and Basile puts his head against Arthur's shoulder while choosing music on his telephone. 

Arthur laughs as the lyrics begin. Only Basile can get him to listen to a song that starts _Do you hear me, I'm talking to you._

When he listens to the chorus, he can't help but turn to Baz, even though it hurts his leg like hell. Basile imitates him, and they're now lying opposite each other, their foreheads touching. 

Baz's eyes fall to his lips before coming back to his eyes, like a silent question. Then Arthur moves slowly forward until he can lay his lips on those of his best friend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend best friend. Best boyfriend. He smiles in the kiss, yeah, he likes that. Best boyfriend. 

Basile's tongue gently strokes his lower lip, asking permission to venture further and Arthur is more than happy to accept it.

In his head, he can't stop repeating the words of the chorus over and over again.

_I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend._


	15. Come back

Lucas was supposed to take his first webcam class this morning. Then why the fuck is he drowning in a fucking pool?

He's trying to calm down, take deep breaths like Eliott reminds him when he's having an anxiety attack but nothing helps. He's drowning. He's really drowning. And he can't open his eyes, but he can see the blinding light from the reflection in the water. No one helps him to the surface and yet he knows he's not alone. He senses that there are people around him but no one seems to realize that he is drowning. No one catches him and brings him to the surface. Lucas can only think of one person.

_Eliott_

He can't even yell the way he'd like to call the one person he wants near him. He can't even whisper one last time the name of the man he loves so much. He feels himself going down, he feels the weight of the water crushing his chest. And then he touches the bottom and everything goes black again.

*****

Lucas looks around. He's in the fucking cellar. He hears Eliott laughing, but Eliott's not there. Nobody's there. Lucas is alone.

The door slams and Lucas jumps. The laughter's gone. The light flashes and Lucas has fixed it praying inside. When it goes out, he wants to scream but no sound comes out of his throat. He turns around. The cellar is empty. There are no more boxes. Lucas gets on all fours and crawls into the tunnel. 

When he comes out into the grass, it is dark. Lucas feels that someone grabs him by the arms and puts him on the ground. He wants to fight, he wants to scream but he is motionless and no sound comes out.

He feels someone open his mouth and feels something going down his throat.   
He panics when he realizes it's Raymond's gun. We're putting a fucking gun to his throat. He hears the safety click and closes his eyes.

*****

Lucas looks around. He's in his room, in the roommate. He's lying in his blue sheets, his head in his gray pillow. He sighs as he realizes it was all a nightmare. No confinement, no farmhouse. No Noée and Alexia. No Arthur and Basile. None of it...

He hears Mika talking to Manon in the kitchen and it makes him smile. Everything's fine here.

There's a weight on his chest. He smiles when he gets a kiss between the two shoulder blades. The weight that crushes him is Eliott who kisses him tenderly before resting his head on his back. Lucas is struggling to breathe under the weight of his boyfriend but he doesn't want to be anywhere else.   
Eliott barely shifts, resting his head on Lucas' shoulder. Yet the weight that crushes him is still present. 

But Eliott traces small circles in the back of Lucas and that gives him a soft feeling of well-being.

"I admit it's scary," admits Eliott before tightening a little more against Lucas "You know, when I have a choice to make, I always tell myself that there are two paths to take. I end up taking one because I have to make up my mind at some point. But I'll never know what I missed out on by not taking the other one, and that makes me crazy."

Lucas feels his breathing get blocked. He's heard that before. He's been through this before. He tries to turn around to catch a glimpse of Elliot, but he can't move. The weight on his chest is getting heavier and heavier. There's a tear in the corner of his eye and he can't move his hand to wipe it off. He just feels the sheet underneath him get wet. He wants to raise his head but he stands still. He realizes that his eyes are still closed. They have always been closed. So he's not in his room. Eliott's not there. He was never there. And then he remembers he hasn't lived with Mika, Manon and Lisa for over a year. None of that was true.

Lucas feels his pulse racing. He should feel his breathing getting faster, but it's not. It's getting blocked. The weight on his chest is hurting him. He knows he's on his stomach but he doesn't understand why. A hand is on his back but he is sure it is not Eliott. He can no longer concentrate enough to visualize Eliott's face correctly. He can only see the dark. 

*****

Lucas hates the dark. Everybody knows that. He's always hated it. Even with Eliott by his side, he hates it. He feels like anything could happen to him if he's in the dark. And yet, at this very moment, he would give everything he has to go back into the dark. The lights are way too bright in here. The sounds are too loud. The pressure he feels is too much. And he's in pain. He's in too much pain. Everything hurts him. His throat. His lungs. His arms. His legs. What the fuck happened to him?

''Open your eyes, Lucas. Come on, kid, you can do it.''

He doesn't recognize that voice. And he doesn't want to follow the encouragements. He just can't. It's just too hard. Everything's too hard. He just wants to get back in bed with Eliott. He just wants to dance in a hallway at 3:00 in the morning with his buddies. He just wants to smoke and drink and laugh. He just wants to be a healthy 18-year-old young. He wants to be peed on by his rabbit. He wants to kiss Elliot. 

''Come on, kid, you can do it. Just give us a sign." The man gives a sigh of discouragement. '' He hasn't had any help for two days. He should do something about it. Okay, call him, we'll try."

Lucas just wants to be left alone.

''Come on baby, open your eyes for me.''

He opens his eyes instantly and then closes them again and regrets it. It's all just too blinding. 

''That's good, baby. I love you, baby. Fuck, thank you. I love you so much."

Eliott's voice breaks and Lucas hears him burst into tears. At the same time, tears are flowing from his eyes, which are always closed.

"It's OK, it's all right." Basile says, sniffing "Welcome back, buddy. Eliott's all right, don't worry."

"Come on lulu, stay with us" says now Yann.

"Come on my Kitten, open your eyes" asks Mika softly. 

Lucas hears his voice trembling. He also hears Daphne, Alexia and Arthur. He wonders how they managed to be so many people in a hospital room. Because he's sure of it now, he's in the hospital even though he doesn't understand why. 

He gently moves his hand to reach out and someone grabs it immediately. But it's not Eliott. Lucas is certain. It's a gloved hand too small to belong to his boyfriend. 

So slowly, he's gathering his strength to open his eyes again. White invades him and then he perceives shapes and colors. But he doesn't recognize anyone.

''Baby, I'm here. I love you so much, Lucas. We were so scared."

He looks at the phone the nurse shows him holding his hand. Lucas squints to see through her tears and tries to talk, but he can't.

''Don't worry, Lucas, it's normal'' reassures the nurse ''You were on life support for ten days. Your vocal cords are swollen. They'll be back to normal in a few days."

Lucas nods his head and looks at the phone again, then gathers all his strength and signs "I love you."

He sees that Eliott tries to hold back but when he signs it a second time, Eliott bursts into tears and Lucas sees Basile and Yann and all his friends hugging him. He notices that Imane and Noée are missing but he is too exhausted to ask questions.

Lucas closes his eyes and falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to remind you that this is all pure fiction around a real fact. I don't pretend to know the effects of the virus or what it's like to be in a coma or on a respirator. this is just pure fiction that is created in my head.  
> I hope it made your heart beat faster ... because yeah, .I'm a bad person 😉😆


	16. Mystery

It's the sound of the door slamming that wakes him up. He has no idea how long it's been since he saw Eliott in Facetime.

''Lucas Lallemand, 18.'' One doctor tells a troop of other doctors.

They both wear gowns, hats, masks, gloves and even overpants and shoes. Lucas has the impression that astronauts have just entered his room.

''Positive at Covid 19. Arrived in the ER 12 days ago, unconscious in respiratory distress. No sign of a runner. Respiratory function reduced to 15 percent on arrival. Was placed in prone position on the belly for six days. Respirator removed three days ago. Regained consciousness early yesterday evening. Respiratory function at 89%. Seems to be on the mend. Covid test is still positive. To be retested in two days."

Lucas doesn't know whether to panic or be happy. He doesn't remember anything. He remembers dancing with his friends in the middle of the night, then having sex with Eliott and finally falling sound asleep.

He is too tired to try to talk so he closes his eyes even though the doctor is still talking.

Lucas opens his eyes slowly. He realizes that it was the presence of the nurse that woke him up. He tries to speak but no sound comes out. Lucas thinks and then signs but the man shrugs his shoulders. On the other hand he shows Lucas that his phone is on the bedside table recharging.

He doesn't have any messages. It gives him a little pinch in his heart but he understands. His friends and boyfriend probably didn't want to wake him up and prevent him from resting. But he can't help but be a little disappointed.

 _Why can't I remember anything between Sunday night and when I woke up?_ Lucas writes before showing it to the nurse. 

''You were brought in by the paramedics on Monday almost two weeks ago. Your boyfriend couldn't wake you up. In fact, you were in a coma due to respiratory distress. It's a good thing he didn't just let you sleep. You owe him your life."

 _Was I infected? Why just me?_ writes Lucas.

The orderly's looking at his file.

''Of the 12 people confined with you, nine tested positive, but only you developed symptoms. They were confined to one floor of the house and are unrelated to the other three. They all have to be retested in three days to see if they're still carriers.

_What about the grandfather?_

''Surprisingly, he hasn't been infected. He's one of the three people who tested negative."

_Why was it so bad for me?_

Nurse shrugs his shoulders.

''Mystery of the human body. Normally young people aren't affected but everywhere in France and other countries there are a few young people who develop respiratory problems. Some have died when they were in the best of health. We don't know why. But you're fine now. You need to rest."

The nurse puts his gloved hand on Lucas' forearm before he leaves the room. Lucas watches him remove anything he's wearing that could be contaminated and then turns to his phone.

He opens his call log and realizes that Eliott has called him every day since his admission to the hospital. Some calls last less than five minutes while others last one or two hours. The largest call is from 6 days ago and lasts 3 hours and 15 minutes. 

He hesitates but finally calls Arthur. He supposes that Eliott must not really have slept since Lucas was taken to the hospital. And if he managed to get some sleep now that he knows Lucas is ok, Lucas probably doesn't want to wake him up.

''Hey. Lucas" greets him as Arthur picks up the phone, immediately joined by Basile, Yann, Alexia, Emma and Daphne. "We're in class, but we're happy to see you."

He turns his phone to the computer screen where the strict face of their director appears.

''Mr. Lallemand. I'm glad to see you're feeling better. The whole teaching staff has been thinking about you a lot. Take care of yourself and get better quietly, you'll have plenty of time to catch up, don't worry. I'm happy to tell you that the BAC exams are cancelled and you'll be graded on a continuous basis.''

Lucas tries to talk but nothing comes out so he signs _Thank you_ and Arthur translates. 

''Now, let's get back to class. Mr Broussard, please turn off your phone during class."

"Wait" signs Lucas before Arthur can hang up. And fortunately Arthur doesn't hang up. "How is Eliott?" signs Lucas.

Arthur comes out of the room and Lucas is surprised he can walk. Then he remembers that 13 days have passed. 

''He's okay, Lucas. Don't worry about him. No episodes. He's been very agitated and has been crying a lot. Like all of us. We really thought you were gonna die. He called the hospital every day, but the news was never good. He spent hours talking to you when you were unconscious. But now that you're better, he's better, too. But we're not leaving him alone, just in case. We take turns so he's never alone."

Lucas is smiling. His friends are really the best.

Arthur slowly pushes the door to the room Lucas recognizes as Mika and Camille's. Camille appears on the screen and greets Lucas quietly before turning his phone towards his bed. Mika is sitting on his bed, his back resting against the headboard and he is reading a book while Eliott is asleep with his head on his knees.

Camille puts the phone close enough so that Lucas can only see Eliott's sleeping face and that's enough for him to fall asleep as well.

Lucas wakes up with a start. He was back in the fucking cellar. Fucking nightmare.

''Baby? It's all right, love. You're safe, don't worry."

Eliott's voice makes him feel safe right away. He turns to his bedside table and smiles. The app says the call has been going on for four hours.

"Hi, you," says quietly Lucas. He is the first surprised to hear his voice again. She is hoarse and it gives him a sore throat but he smiles. 

And seeing Eliott's smile can only make him smile. Lucas sits in his hospital bed and takes his phone in his hands.

''Hello my love.'' Eliott says softly.

He sees his friends greeting him. They're all gathered in Basile's room. Then he realizes that Eliott is walking down the hallway to their room and he's happy that they can have some privacy. Eliott sits on their bed and smiles at him.   
But Eliott looks completely exhausted. Lucas blames himself because he knows it's all his fault that Eliott looks like that.

''I'm sorry I scared you,'' says Lucas, breathing in between each word and wincing at the pain in his throat.

Eliott's face seems to break at the sight of Lucas in pain.

''It's not your fault my love. Shh, calm down. We're gonna be okay now."

Lucas takes a little breath and grabs his phone to text Eliott.

_If you scared me like that, I'd want to kill you. So sorry anyway. Love you._

He sees in Eliott's face the moment he reads his text. 

"I love you, too. I hope this is the last time you scare me like that. That was the worst minute of my life. But every minute with you is always worth living for. This one just reminds me that I don't want to spend the rest of my life without you. Even though I didn't really need a reminder because I already knew that. But now I'm so fucking sure."

Lucas is wiping the tears from his eyes. He tries to talk, but a coughing fit catches him off guard. He takes some water from his bedside table and reopens his message application.

_You won't get rid of me that easily, don't worry. You owe me a trip to Katmandou._

And Eliott laughs and lies down on his bed with the phone next to his face.

''I'll get you anything you want, baby. I wish I could hold you in my arms, now and keep you close to me forever."

Lucas sighs and closes his eyes. He can almost imagine he's in Eliott's arms.

He doesn't even realize he's falling asleep again.


	17. Worried

Eliott wakes up to the sound of his alarm. It's already 7:30. The webcam lessons will start in 45 minutes. He slowly moves closer to Lucas and kisses his arm, starting towards his elbow and going up to his shoulder.  
He hears Emma bitching at Imane and Daphne that it's too early to get up and this makes him smile. 

He knows that Lucas didn't get enough sleep last night and that he must be tired. But he has to be on time for class, even if it's by webcam. So he kisses him tenderly on the neck. Usually it tickles Lucas and he wiggles. Even when he's sleeping. But right now, he's not moving.  
Eliott's heart beats a little faster. He runs his hand over Lucas' face. He's burning with fever. Eliott bends over to light the lamp on the bedside table next to Lucas. Lucas is beautiful. He looks so peaceful. Almost frozen. 

''Lucas? Is it time to get up?" Eliott says softly.

But Lucas doesn't react. So Eliott calls him louder. He starts to shake him gently but gets no movement. He gets up suddenly and crosses the room to call for help. Basile is just coming out of Arthur's room and Mika seems to be bringing up breakfast in his room.

"Lucas doesn't wake up" Eliott yells as he goes back to his boyfriend's bedside.

Mika follows him closely and pushes him so he can touch Lucas. Basile is already on the phone with the 911. 

Mika leans over Lucas and then looks at Basile while shrugging his shoulders.

"He's dead, it's no use."

Eliott falls to the floor crying and screaming the name of the man he loves.

''Eliott. Eliott. Stop it." Mika shakes him around and yells at him.

''Lucas. Lucas, no."

"He's okay, Eliott. Wake up."

Eliott opens his eyes full of tears and finds himself facing Mika.

''It was a nightmare, Eliott. Lucas is fine. He's better at last. He's better. You talked to him earlier, remember?"

Eliott wipes his eyes. He doesn't really remember. He can still feel his pulse and breathing much too fast.

''He's been awake for six days. He's all right." Mika repeats, holding him tightly. "It was just a nightmare."

"I dreamt it was Monday morning again. It's just the way it happened. I call him, I shake him, but he doesn't react. He's burning up. So I call for help. You take breakfast up to your room and when you get to his bedside, you tell me he's dead."

Mika shakes his head while you pat Eliott on the back.

''That's how it happened. But he was still breathing. Basile called 911 and he was taken away. Do you remember?"

Eliott nodded his head.

''He's better now. You're better now. It's all right, Eliott."

"I need to see him," pleads Eliott.

"I know. So do I. But we can't go"

Eliott lets out a sob and Mika pulls out his phone, even though it's 1:30 in the morning. Lucas picks it up on the second ringtone.

"Kitten? You're not asleep?"

"No. I'm watching a shit TV show. What's going on?" Lucas asks worriedly.

"Nightmare" warns Mika before giving the phone to Eliott. 

Lucas was obviously not prepared to see his boyfriend in tears, but he reacted immediately.

''Hello my love. It's all right. I'm fine." says Lucas.

Eliott wipes his tears and tries to breathe easier.

"I was so scared."

"It was just a nightmare." Lucas says softly ""and I"

"No," cuts Eliott off. "I was so scared."

"I know. Me too, baby. Me, too." Lucas pauses and then his voice goes, "Am I fucking dreaming or did I just see Mika come out of our room wearing only boxers?"

Eliott turns to the door where Mika greets Lucas before he comes out and lets out a chuckle.

''I didn't even notice. He must have heard me screaming in my sleep. Basile says it's been happening to me a lot since..."

Eliott doesn't have to finish his sentence. Lucas knows.

''Can you get some rest? I know you don't like to sleep alone?"

''Alone?'' Eliott laughs as if Lucas said something like, ''I haven't been alone since you left. Everybody's been taking turns being with me. They try to act like it's a coincidence, but I know they're taking turns watching me and they're afraid I'm gonna fall apart. And frankly, I'm surprised it didn't happen so I can't blame them. And I know if you could have, you would have told them to watch me so I'm glad they even thought of it for you. Almost every night, I fall asleep alone and wake up with someone telling me that I was screaming in my sleep."

Lucas nods and then smiles.

"So?" he asks, clearing his throat again, "Who slept with you?"

"Just about everybody" laughs Eliot "Basile. Yann. Alexia. Emma. And I even woke up twice in Mika and Camille's bed without knowing how I got there."

Lucas laughs, which makes him cough. He poses the phone down while he drinks some water and tries to calmly catch his breath.

''I'm fine'' he says to Eliott's worried look. ''Damn, I can see everyone's coming to hug you. Mika's pretty good at getting hot guys into bed. I'm gonna have to hurry home before he takes you for granted. I knew he couldn't resist sleeping with you."

Eliott's laughing.

''He literally slept in your arms, Lucas. So, yeah, I can vouch for that. He's good at sleeping with hot guys."

Lucas looks up to the sky.

''I'm definitely not hot, Elliot. I'm wearing a fucking hospital gown open on my ass."

Eliott laughs out loud.

''That's even sexier. I love your ass, you know."

Lucas chuckles but frowns by touching his chest.

"Don't make me laugh, it hurts."

"Sorry."

Lucas smiles.

"Don't be. I like that you make me laugh.''

Eliott is startled when his bedroom door opens again.

''I'm wearing a t-shirt,'' Mika laughs as he says, ''Come on, guys, we all need some sleep. Lucas goes to sleep with us. You need to sleep, kitten. If you want to get back here soon, you need to rest."

Lucas smiles as Mika lies down in his place next to Eliott and opens his arms to spoon Eliott. He takes the phone out of Eliott's hands and puts it on the pillow right in front of him. Lucas just sees Eliott, but guess Mika right behind him and it makes him smile.

''Now the three of us are sleeping. Good night, kitten."

Eliott smiles as he sees Lucas lying in bed the same way and watches him fall asleep while Mika strokes his arm, which eventually puts him to sleep as well. 


	18. At home

If Lucas was in better shape, he'd probably take out his phone and take a picture of himself in the army ambulance. It'd be a souvenir for him. It's a really relaxed vibe. The two soldiers have been laughing with him since the beginning of the ride.

''It's the best part of our job since we've been in confinement,'' says the older of the two. ''Bringing the sick back to their families is just a moment of pure joy.''

Lucas nods. He's so happy he can go home.

"Your parents will be so happy to have you back."

"I live with my boyfriend," says Lucas, "and here we are with my friends at the house of one of their grandfathers. But yes, they'll be happy."

The two soldiers look at each other and smile.

"How many of you live together then?"

"There are 13 of us. But it's a big farm, there's plenty of room."

One of the soldiers nods his head.

"12 young people and a grandpa, it must be a fun atmosphere."

Lucas laughs, which makes him cough.

"It was. Till they found me almost dead. Apparently that kind of killed the mood. But I guess the webcam lessons didn't help either."

The youngest soldier starts laughing.

''I like your little spirit. They must be looking forward to you."

''They don't know that,'' says Lucas ''I was told I was allowed out four days ago but every time my discharge was postponed. I didn't want my boyfriend to be sad, so I didn't say anything."

"Don't you want to tell him now that we're almost there?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

''No. It'll be a real surprise. He won't have time to think about it like that."

''Do you have your phone? It's probably the only time you'll ever ride in a military ambulance. Want a souvenir?" asks the youngest soldier.

Lucas nods and smiles. He gets a picture of himself surrounded by the two soldiers. He automatically thinks of Mika, who will be green with envy. Because even though nobody is as hot as Eliott, Lucas can't help noticing that the two soldiers are damn cute. Or maybe it's just the uniform doing that... maybe. Mika would love the uniform. 

Lucas gets his phone back with a smile on his face. And he loses his smile as soon as he sees himself in the picture. He's even whiter than usual. Looks like he's translucent. He just looks awful...  
And suddenly he doesn't want to go home. He doesn't want to look like that. He looks so... so sick.

"Here we are." warns the man driving.

Lucas bends over so he can look through the windshield and sees Noée coming out of the chicken coop, hand in hand with Alexia. That makes Lucas smile, because some things haven't changed while he was away. And it keeps him from thinking about his appearance. 

The ambulance is barely parked when Eliott appears on the doorstep, immediately joined by Basile. Lucas gets up and hops in front of the ambulance door, waiting for one of the soldiers to open it. He must refrain from jumping out of the vehicle and despite the glare of the sun, he sees Eliott running towards him as fast as he can.   
Lucas barely touches the ground when he is already in the arms of Eliott who is holding him tight.

"My baby, finally."

Lucas doesn't have time to respond to all his friends huddling around him. 

''My kitten'' moans Mika as she hugs him without dislodging Eliott, who seems unable to move anyway. He feels Basile wrapping his arms around his back while Imane comes to kiss him on the cheek. Daphne strokes his arm and Arthur signs him "Welcome Home" before taking his hand. Yann tousled his hair. Emma strokes his shoulder while Camille gently taps his back. Noée smiles at his and grabs his free hand. Everyone seems to need to touch him and Lucas can understand that.

The oldest soldier smiles as he looks at them.

''I think it's the warmest comeback I've ever seen. But give him a little breathing space. We don't wanna have to bring him back."

Eliott straightens and everyone moves away from Lucas. 

"Come on, kids," Louis shouts from the doorway, "come celebrate the return of the prodigal son."

All the young people return home, leaving Lucas and Elliot with the soldiers. 

''Thank you very much, guys. Good luck with the rest." Lucas says as he greets them.

''Good luck to you, Lucas. Especially rest. Above all, he needs to rest. If we had more room in the hospitals, he'd probably still be in there. So get some rest, kid. Okay?"

''Don't worry, I'll take care of him'' says Eliott, tightening his embrace around his boyfriend's shoulders.

Lucas watches the truck drive away with a sigh. 

As soon as the truck disappears from their sight, Eliott gently wraps his arms around it before gently kissing it. It is so sweet and so brief that Lucas wonders whether he has dreamt about kissing it or not. It's more of a caress than a kiss but Lucas can't help thinking that his appearance must frighten Eliott.

''I'm so glad you're here, baby. Come on, come quick, you need your rest."

But neither one of them is moving. And Eliott puts both hands on Lucas' cheeks and looks at him tenderly.

''I feel like I'm dreaming so much. Why didn't you tell me you were coming home?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

"Surprise?"

Eliott steals two little kisses on his lips as he smiles.

"You're the most beautiful surprise in my life, baby."

''I guess right now, beautiful isn't really an adjective for me,'' says Lucas, lowering his eyes to the ground. ''I'm sorry I look like this.''

Eliott grabs his chin to force him to look up at him.

''Damn, Lucas, I thought I'd never see you again. So even if you'd lost all your hair, even if you'd lost 40 pounds, even if your skin was covered in scales... no matter how you looked, I'd still find you the handsomest. And right now, you're just beautiful, baby."

''You're not objective at all,'' Lucas says with a smile.

''Absolutely not. Okay, you're running out of color. So starting tomorrow, you can lie in the sun while I catch up on my painting for class. Okay, you look tired, so you're gonna rest in my arms. The girls are going to cook you some good food and I'm going to love you so much that you're going to regain all the strength you need very quickly. But don't you dare say that you're not beautiful. You're so beautiful, baby. You're the sunshine of my life."

Eliott gently kisses him one last time before slipping his hand into his and guiding him into the house. In the kitchen, Louis has already brought out enough glasses for the world and two bottles from his personal stash.

"To my little Lucas," he said, raising his glass, "glad you're home."

Lucas snuggled up in Eliott's arms a little more. It's clear he's totally back home. Neither he nor Eliott is having a drink, but no one's pointing it out.

"If I hadn't passed the disease on to everyone, it would have been easier anyway," says Emma, raising her glass "Fucking Lucas, I'm so sorry."

Lucas straightens so he can get a better look at her.

"Emma, it's not your fault. It's my immune system that's fucked up and"

''No'' cuts Emma ''I drank from the bottle and everyone was infected. Except Louis who wasn't there and Imane who didn't drink alcohol. I almost killed you, Lucas. I'm so, so sorry. I feel so bad."

"And Noée?" says Lucas. He looks at his friends surprised that no one's trying to reason with Emma, then he realizes they must have had this conversation a hundred times while he was in the hospital.

"Noée is a fucking mystery of nature," Emma moans, before turning to her. "No offense, Noée. But it's true. No doctor understood why you weren't infected when you drank with all of us and especially when you licked Alexia's tongue several times."

Noée shrugs her shoulders and signs for Lucas.

"Emma's been on a loop all along, convinced she almost killed you."

Lucas stands up, immediately regretting the loss of Eliott's embrace, and walks over to Emma, who's still standing at the end of the table.

''I'm fine, Emma. It's not your fault. We don't even know if that's what made us sick. It turns out we all were sick before we came here. Don't think about it, I'm fine."

And Lucas takes her in his arms, stunning the entire table. Lucas is very tactile with Eliott. And sometimes Mika. But that's it. Everybody knows he doesn't really like to be hugged.

"I'm so"

"It's okay," corrects Lucas, "stop thinking about it. It's nobody's fault. Maybe pangolin, but certainly not yours. Now, tell me what I missed. How's the webcam class going?"

''It's hilarious'' says Basile ''One day we decided to pretend the sound didn't work, so we moved our lips without talking. All seven of us. The English teacher started cursing in all the languages she could when she tried to manipulate her computer."

Lucas laughed and took his place in the arms of Eliott, who hugged him gently and kissed his temple.

"We explained to the director that he had to press Alt-F4 to turn the volume up because we couldn't hear him and it closed his window," says Arthur laughing, "You should have seen his face when he came back on the screen. The worst part is, he did the same thing three times in a row before he figured it out."

Lucas laughed and imagined the director's face and then started coughing. He stands up and gently pushes Eliott out of his embrace. He signals not to approach him when Mika gets up from his chair and closes his eyes to try to calmly resume breathing as he was taught at the hospital.

"Babe?"

Lucas feels Eliott's hand gently caressing his back, but he stands up so he doesn't feel that touch again. It hurts him to push Eliott away like that but he can't stand any contact while he feels like he can't breathe. His whole body already feels too tight on his lungs, he can't stand the extra pressure. Even if the pressure is a caress from the man he loves.

He ends up sitting in a corner of the room with his head in his hands and his breathing becomes fluid again. When the pain in his chest disappears, he raises his head to discover the most beautiful smile in the world.   
Eliott is there, right in front of him, crouching. He's only a few inches away, yet he doesn't touch him. 

"Do you want to go upstairs and rest?"

Lucas nods his head and stands up, clutching Eliott's arm to help himself.

"Sorry."

''It's OK, kitten, go get some rest. Don't worry about us," said Mika, smiling.

Lucas nods his head and struggles up the stairs. His strength still hasn't fully returned and he hates it. He hates it when he has to work so hard to make such a small effort. When he reaches the upstairs landing, he gasps but tries not to let it be heard. 

Eliott opens their bedroom door. Lucas immediately goes to their bed and lies down before realizing that Eliott hasn't moved from the doorway, obviously wondering whether he should come in or not.

"Come."

Lucas' voice is only a whisper and he wonders if Eliott heard it. But Eliott slowly closes the door and comes and sits down beside him. Then yes, he heard it.

"Tell me what you need, baby."

''I need you to hold me, my love. Just don't touch me when I'm having trouble breathing. Sorry. But now, I need you to hold me. I need you.''

"Don't worry, baby. Whatever you want.''

Eliott climbs into bed behind Lucas and wraps his arms around him while he peppers his neck with kisses. Lucas turns around so he can kiss Eliott. He's been dreaming so much about doing this. He really kisses him this time. He puts his hands on Eliott's cheeks to gently caress them with his thumbs and he realizes that tears are running down his beloved's face.

"Don't cry baby" whispers Eliott sniffling.

And only now, Lucas realizes that tears are flowing from his eyes too and he smiles. 

He's finally home.


	19. Butterfly effect

"If the flapping of a butterfly's wings can trigger a tornado, it can also prevent it. If the flapping of a butterfly's wings affects the formation of a tornado, it is not obvious that the flapping of a butterfly's wings is the cause of the tornado and therefore has any power over whether or not it creates one." 

Lucas doesn't even know why he's now thinking about the butterfly effect theory.

Since the doctor told him he could go home, even though he had not yet regained full respiratory capacity, Lucas hadn't stopped imagining how he would feel when he could finally sleep in Eliott's arms. 

He had imagined that he would be huddled with him and that a feeling of absolute security would envelop him as well as Eliott's arms and that he could finally fall asleep peacefully. 

After drying their tears, they talked a lot earlier and finally didn't sleep. So they came back down for dinner. But Lucas was really tired and didn't feel like eating. He played with his plate under the worried eyes of his friends. They both went back upstairs right after. And since then, Lucas with his head against Eliott's chest and he wait.

The sun has gone down. Lucas heard his friends, one after the other, whispering as they went to their rooms. He assumes it must be 11:00 pm or midnight, but he doesn't want to check. The last thing he wants to do is move so he doesn't wake up Eliott. So he stays there, huddled up against his boyfriend, eyes closed, pretending to be asleep... well, invoking sleep, rather. Cause Fuck, he just wants to sleep. And just be a normal guy for once. But since he's not a normal guy, so he's thinking about the butterfly-effect theory, without even knowing why.

There's still what feels like an hour, like this, listening to Eliott's sweet snoring and then he decides to get up. He wants to pee anyway. So he slowly crawls out of bed while he grabs his phone. 1H20. Fuck it.

He slowly goes down the stairs and into the living room to sit in one of the armchairs. Once seated in it, he realizes he hasn't been to the bathroom. He doesn't really feel like going anyway. Lucas runs his hand through his hair and smiles. Even his excuse to get up was lame. He breathes calmly as he picks up the first book from the living room table. It's Imane's biology textbook. 

Lucas opens it and starts reading his friend's notes. She's made several annotations ''to explain to Lucas.'' or ''Beware Lucas, remember.'' And that makes Lucas smile. He imagines her behind the webcam looking at the teacher's face to see what to remember and what not to remember. 

He never thought he'd think this, but plunge into the lessons allows him to think of nothing and that makes him feel good. 

He's almost halfway through the textbook when he feels his eyes close. So he just puts the book in his lap and puts his head on the armrest of the armchairs. He'll just rest for a few minutes and then he'll go upstairs to bed. 

A thud wakes Basile with a jump. It sounds like a book falling on the floor, right underneath him. He turns on his bedside lamp before he even opens his eyes. He looks at his empty room. Since Daphne sleeps with Imane and Emma, he has the room to himself. 

He gets out of bed and puts on a t-shirt in a hurry. He walks quietly down the corridor and immediately sees the streak of light under a door. It's Arthur's room.   
He hears a sniff and knocks gently and then remembers that Arthur is sleeping without his hearing aids so he opens the door gently. 

Despite Basile's delicacy, Arthur is startled when he enters the room. Arthur signals him to leave but Basile immediately sees his eyes filled with tears and walks towards his friend.

"Get out," Arthur shouts.

Basile signals him that he is talking too loud, as he does every time he doesn't wear his hearing aids, and Arthur again signals him to leave. 

Basile joins him on the bed and takes him in his arms. Arthur tries to push him away but Basile holds him firmly and Arthur breaks. He starts crying loudly and huddles up to Basile. His phone vibrates in his hand and Arthur throws him against the wall crying. 

Mika suddenly wakes up. He's sure he heard something breaking in the room next to his. He wants to straighten up but immediately Camille tightens her embrace.

"Where are you going, baby?"

Mika strokes his arm before kissing his shoulder.

"I heard a noise. I just want to see."

"Come on, baby, stay with me," Camille asks, clinging to him. "I'm going to think you'd rather sleep with Eliott than me."

Mika turns on the light and stares at him frowning, wondering if he's serious.

''I'm sorry. That was a really dump thing to say."

"I can vouch for that," Mika says, getting out of bed, "that was a really dumb."

Camille tries to grab his wrist, but Mika's faster and he leaves the room without a glance behind him, whispering a "Dumbass" as he closes the door.

He goes up the corridor, seeing the light under the door of Arthur's room. He approaches the door and he hears Basile's voice. It makes him smile. He wondered how long it would take the two boys to get closer. He should have suspected that they were waiting for Lucas' return to pick things up from where they had left them. 

He gently opened the door of his little protected' room. Everything is calm and peaceful. He just hears a soft snore. He gently lights the room with his phone and immediately freezes.

He goes back into the corridor, letting the bedroom door slam behind him. 

Eliott wakes up with a start. He immediately notices the absence of Lucas at his side. He lights the lamp and jumps out of bed. He finds himself in the corridor in less than 10 seconds and collides with Mika.

''Damn it, Eliott, Lucas is not in your room.'' 

Surely Eliott wasn't expecting to get yelled at in the middle of the hall in the middle of the night.

''I know, I just woke up. He must've just got up, the door just slammed."

''It was me, the door. I was coming to check on him, and he wasn't there. What the fuck Eliott? Why isn't he with you?"

Eliott looks around on reflex and then heads for the stairs, followed by Mika. 

''Oh no, Camille, this is really not the time now.'' Warns Mika when Camille comes to meet them. 

He sees Camille holding Mika but already rushes down the stairs.

Eliott is hurtling down the stairs and stops abruptly when he sees Lucas' sleeping face in the living room. He looks so peaceful. He makes this tiny sound that isn't quite a snore and that Eliott loves.

He wonders how long Lucas has been sleeping there but he decides not to worry too much. For now Lucas is sleeping and that is the most important thing. As he picks up the biology textbook that has fallen on the living room floor, he hears a huge thud coming from the stairs. 

"Holy shit."

That's what wakes Alexia. That, and the sound of someone falling down a flight of stairs. She gets out of bed so fast, and Noée's hand grabs her arm, asking her what's going on.

''I think someone fell down the stairs.''

The two girls come out of their room at the same time and find Camille in the middle of the stairs, trying to help Mika up. 

Once up, Mika gently but firmly pushes Camille away and asks Alexia to help him down. He obviously has a problem with his right ankle.

''I think I messed it up with him,'' Camille says, tears in her eyes, ''I'm such an asshole."

Noée nods at him and there, in the middle of the stairs, Camille tells him what he said.

"Fuck," signs Noée, "you're such an asshole sometimes. What the hell were you thinking? They're his babies !"


	20. Explanations

Daphne turns around in bed and sees Imane standing at the other end of the room smiling at her. Emma grunts hidden under her pillow, as she does every morning.

Imane asks, "Did you sleep well?" and puts the blanket back on her bed properly.

"Like a baby," Daphne confirms. 

"But why are you up so early on a Saturday?" Emma growls under her pillow, provoking laughter from her two friends.

Five minutes later, they come down the stairs and Imane is the first to be surprised to discover that everyone except Emma, Yann and Louis are already around the kitchen table.

"Hello friends" exclaims Daphne "Did you sleep well? I slept like a baby and''

Daphne looks up and stops dead. They all look terrible. Lucas looks exhausted, and Eliott looks super worried. But she's expecting this. On the other hand, she didn't expect to find Arthur and Basile with red eyes, as if they had spent part of the night crying, nor to find Mika with his leg on a chair while Alexia rubs cream on his ankle. Camille is at the other end of the room when they are usually indecollable Mika and him. 

"Uh... am I missed something?"

Yann's voice surprises Daphne, who turned around to see him run his hand through his hair.

"Did something happen last night?" Yann asks again.

Each couple exchanges a brief glance before lowering their eyes to the ground.

"Bad night" simply says Alexia, "Thank God it's Saturday. We'll rest and get better."

Basile puts his hand on Arthur's hand and Arthur sniffs before he almost runs out of the kitchen, immediately followed by Basile. 

"What's going on with Arthur?" asks Alexia.

They all look at each other and shrug their shoulders.

"And you, Lucas? How are you?" asks Imane.

"I'm fine. I couldn't sleep, so I caught up on bio class. Thanks for your notes by the way, that was perfect. And now Eliott's pouting because I worked half the night instead of sleeping."

"I'm not pouting," says Eliott. "I'm worried. It's not the same."

Lucas wraps his arms around Eliott's shoulders and pulls him towards himself.

''I know. I'm sorry. But after breakfast, I really don't mind going back to bed with you. Although it doesn't have to be to sleep."

Eliott looks at him and raises one eyebrow. Lucas hates it when he does that.

''You got to get some rest, baby. I wouldn't do anything to make you tired. Or make it hard for you to breathe. But I'm willing to go upstairs and go to sleep."

Lucas takes his cup of coffee while sulking.

"You're a killjoy, baby."

"You need a rest, baby," says Eliott in the same tone.

''I was hoping this would help me sleep better,'' says Lucas with a naughty smile.

Eliott hugs him and whispers tenderly in his ear.

''I know, baby. And I wish I did, too. But I don't want to tire you out. Right now, what you need most is food to keep you strong,"

Eliott shows the plate that Lucas didn't touch up. Lucas frowns as he takes a slice of jam and then his face lights up and Eliott knows what he is going to say before Lucas even opens his mouth.

"If I finish my plate, will you come to bed with me? And you let me do what I want?" whispered Lucas and winked at Eliott. 

Eliott bursts out laughing but nods and smiles. That's enough for Lucas who bites into his toast.

''Oh, guys, we missed you so much.'' says Daphne, "You are so cute even though you're disgusting."

The whole table starts to giggle, nodding its head to confirm, making Lucas and Eliott laugh.

"Are you sure you're okay Mika?" asks Imane looking at his ankle which has turned a little purple.

''Don't worry, honey, it will be fine. I was angry with Camille and worried about Lucas. I wanted to go down the stairs, I missed a step and I fell. It's no big deal. I'm gonna finish my coffee and go upstairs and talk with Camille."

Camille looks up when Mika talks about him and smiles nervously.

"Mika I"

Mika raises his hand to signal him to shut up.

''Not in front of the children, Camille. Come on, Lucas, eat. You need your strength. And stop making sex a bargaining chip. I didn't teach you that, kitten. Eliott, I'm sorry I yelled at you this night. Sorry."

Lucas nods his head and tries to smile. He never heard Mika talking to Camille by his name. From the beginning, he's been giving his affectionate names. Hearing his call him by his first name sounds really bad. And from the look on Camille's face, Lucas can see he noticed it too.

Mika grimaces as he puts his foot on the ground but leaves with a limp, closely followed by Camille.

Camille gently closes the door of their room, while Mika sits on their bed with a grimace of pain.

"I don't like it at all that you are jealous," says Mika, looking him in the eyes. 

"I don't like it when I am jealous either," Camille confirms, lowering his shoulders.

''I'm not jealous of your friendship with Noée. Even though you're very close," continues Mika.

''Wait, this is totally different'' cuts Camille.

"Why?" Mika gets mad, "Because she's a girl?"

Camille looks at him surprised. It's so obvious.

"Well, yeah."

"Oh, Camille," moans Mika, "how many guys are having sex with guys and girls? You've have sex with girls before, why don't you have sex with girl again? Just one night."

Camille shakes his head.

''Wait, wait. Already, I haven't had sex with a girl in, like, five years. I'm gay, Mika. Not bi, not pan. Just gay. And you know it. And how can you imagine me with Noée? No shit? She's like my sister. If we have a special bond, it's because we've gone through similar difficulties in life."

Camille drops down on the bed next to Mika with a sigh.

''Just like you and Lucas, I guess." he sighs again and takes a softer voice "And I guess if Noée was sick, I would do everything I could to help her, leaving my own life behind. Damn it, Mika, I'm so sorry. I was sleeping so well with you. I don't know why I said that. I swear I regretted it right away."

Mika shrugs his shoulders.

''You said that because you meant it. And it's true that I may have slept with Eliott more than I did with you while Lucas was gone. But I swear it was just out of friendship for Lucas and Eliott. I lived with both of them for a while. I know how difficult Eliott's fits can be. I needed to be there for him, let him know he wasn't alone. So I'm sorry I pushed you aside. Sorry if I made you feel inferior. I love you. Really. But for once, you weren't my priority. And I thought you understood why."

''I know.'' Camille said as he gently approached Mika, ''and I swear to you, I totally understand. I was such a jerk last night. But I love this part of you so much. You're taking care of Lucas like he's your baby, and I love that. I love that he can count on you and that you have this special bond that everyone respects. You're so cute when you're looking out for him and his boyfriend. And I love you so much for everything you are. I love you so much, Mika."

Mika pulls Camille's shirt down so he's closer to his face.

"And I love you too, baby." He kisses his and then gently pushes it away. "But you say again something like that about my babies and I should kill you."

Camille smiles and kisses him gently.

"Deal."

''Okay. I think this is the first real fight we've ever had," says Mika, smiling, "so come on, let's have some makeup sex."

And Camille can only accept a proposal like this by biting the lower lip of his wonderful boyfriend.


	21. Insane

Lucas goes up the stairs hand in hand with Eliott, smiling. It is much less difficult than yesterday. Like what sleeping did him good, even if it was in a armchair.

At the thought, he blames himself. He doesn't want Eliott to think that he wanted to be away from him.

And that's why he's determined to break down Elliot's resistance and let him take care of him. Hoping that despite his appearance, Eliott is rather receptive. Fortunately, Lucas knows his boyfriend very well and knows exactly what he likes Lucas to do to him. Because right now, Lucas doesn't really want Eliott to do anything to him - although he would probably change his mind as soon as Eliott's hands are on him - but he wants to please Eliott. Because after all he's been through, Eliott could use a little happiness. On the other hand, Lucas needs to know that he can always drive Eliott crazy with his hands or his mouth. 

He puts his hand on the doorknob of their room when Arthur's voice startled him. They are all used to Arthur talking loud when he is not wearing his hearing aids, but Lucas feels that it is not the same. Arthur's voice is mean.

''I thought you were trying to make me feel better? Isn't that why you're here? Just admit that's all you want from me."

Lucas turns to Eliott and they both look at each other with a look of amazement and concern. Eliott waves to him not to move and heads for Arthur's room, but Lucas follows him. 

"Arthur fuck, I said no."

Basile almost screams. Immediately following him is the sound of a lamp shattering on the floor. Mika and Camille come out of their room half-naked.

"What the fuck is going on?" Mika asks as Eliott opens the door to Arthur's bedroom.

And no one was really prepared to see Arthur, red with anger, holding Basile struggling up against the wall. The bedside lamp is indeed broken, on the floor right next to them. 

"Arthur."

Eliott puts his hand on Arthur's shoulder and Arthur immediately turns around, sending his clenched fist directly into Eliott's jaw which is on the ground, surprised by the punch. 

Mika and Camille immediately jump on Arthur, while Lucas rushes to the ground to help Eliott get up. Mika screams when his ankle touches the ground but he holds Arthur firmly despite everything.

"Fuck. What is wrong with you?" Lucas screams. Which is totally fucked up, because he knows Arthur can't hear. But fuck it. 

Basile takes a deep breath and moves closer to Arthur, who still seems angry as ever.

"Arthur, please." He signs.

''Get out of the way. Clear out, all of you. Just leave me."

Arthur tries to free himself from the hold of the two boys but he can't. Alexia and Imane are the first to appear and Lucas understands that all their friends are now in the corridor. Given his condition, Arthur certainly doesn't need any spectators, so Lucas waves them off so the girls back off gently, whispering. 

''Arthur, what's going on?'' signs Eliott when he's back on his feet.

"I just want to be left alone," Arthur yells. "Leave me alone."

"What the hell's going on?" Lucas asks, looking at Basile. 

Basile hesitates, looks at Arthur and then turns to Lucas.

"Don't say anything" Arthur shouts. "Don't say it. Especially not to Lucas."

Lucas takes a step back and his back slams the door, snatching a muffled scream out of him. 

"It's nothing to do with you, Lucas," Basile promises "I'm sorry. It's like he's been losing his mind."

And then Arthur starts screaming, like he's losing it. Like he's trying to scream as loud as he can to see if he can hear himself. Mika and Camille let him go so they can put their hands over their ears. And suddenly he stops and seems to lose all his strength. He lets himself slide on the floor until he finds himself sitting between Mika and Camille.

He raises his knees and takes his head in his hands, crying.

''I'm sorry, Baz. I don't... I. Never. I"

Arthur bursts into tears and Basile rushes to take him in his arms under the totally lost gaze of the four boys present in the room.

Arthur clutches Basile's T-shirt while crying and falls asleep almost immediately. Eliott and Camille help Basile to put him to bed. Lucas tries to pick up the debris from the lamp. And that's when he notices a box of medicine that he knows only too well.

''Goddamn it, Eliott, why is your medicine in Arthur's room?"

So Eliott joins him in two strides and gets the box. It's clearly his medication. The ones he takes every day. He pulls out the blister pack and starts counting. He notices that Lucas is counting them, too.

''At least six are missing,'' panics Lucas ''oh Fuck''

''No no'' Eliott calm him ''Only one is missing. I took more when you weren't around, some days when I wasn't feeling well."

Lucas immediately takes on the worried boyfriend look.

''It's okay, baby. I'm fine. It's my medication, you know. It's normal for me.I know how to adjust my dose to suit my needs. But it's not normal for him. But why did he take it?"

He turns to Basile.

"Did you know he took this?"

Basile shakes his head and runs his hand through his hair.

''No, I swear I'm not. I wouldn't have let him."

''What the fuck with him?'' Lucas gets angry

Basile seems hesitant and turns round again to look at Arthur sleeping peacefully.

"Shit, Baz. I think this is too important for you to keep to yourself." Mika says softly, "If we hadn't come home, he could have hurt you."

"No," Basile defends him. "He wouldn't have done anything. He was just pissed. He's just really hurt, but he wouldn't have hurt me. I think it was the medicine that made him go crazy. he probably figured he wouldn't smell like the silo anymore."

''Except this isn't the one he took from the silo.'' says Eliott as he puts the box back in his pocket. ''Fuck, I didn't think I'd have to lock up my medicine here."

''What the fuck is wrong with him? What's going on" Lucas asks. "Why is he stealing Eliott's meds? Fucking Baz, it's getting too dangerous now."

Basile hesitates then sighs.

''His dad got infected at the hospital. His mother hadn't told him so as not to worry him. He died last night."

Basile thinks back on everything Arthur told him. How awful he felt because the last time he saw his father, he punched him in the face. He spent last night crying in Basile's arms, repeating that he was a horrible person because he felt both relieved and at the same time horribly sad that his father had died. He made Basile promise not to tell anyone else.

And now Basile can only hope Arthur will forgive him for breaking his promise.


	22. Fog

At first, it's like he's in a thick fog. Then the fog lifts, but he can't see anything. It's as if everything around him is blurred. Everything's blurry in his mind too. The only thing he can feel is the urge to vomit. The bitterness that runs up his stomach and fills his throat. Damn it, he's really gonna throw up.   
He leans to the side and lets whatever's coming out come out. The contents of his stomach, the tears, the self-loathing. All of it. 

He barely feels the big hand rubbing his back or the cold water glove being passed over his forehead. He knows his eyes are open, but he can't see anything. Everything is blurred. Blurred by tears. So he closes his eyes and waits for it to pass. And, unfortunately, it does pass. 

He has no idea how much time has passed. But the blur slowly disappears in his mind. And he remembers. He sees himself again in Eliott and lucas' room. He sees himself taking Eliott's meds. He remembers hesitating to swallow the box directly. But eventually, one was strong enough. He knew that, he had already tested it on the silo. He just wanted to be able to calm his mind. Just stop feeling. Just be the way he used to be. 

Before.

He's sniffing. There's always gonna be a before now. Nothing will ever be the same again. 

He quickly opens his eyes and looks around before he closes them again. Eliott sits in a chair right next to him and seems to be waiting for him to be ready to talk. Damn it. He probably knows he stole his meds. As if Eliott needs an extra source of concern. Like he hasn't had enough with Lucas. Fuck, Arthur is such a shitty friend. A shitty son. A shitty boyfriend. A real piece of shit.

Arthur can't spend his life pretending to sleep. So he opens his eyes gently trying to sit up against the headboard. And of course Basile seems to think it's the right time to enter the room and Arthur understands that he's offering Eliott to take over for him. So that's how it is now? They take turns? They're probably afraid that Arthur's freaking out. 

Basile notices he's awake and seems hesitant to approach him. And Arthur doesn't really know why, but he sees fear in his eyes.

"Arthur?" signs Eliott "tell us how we can help you."

Arthur shrugs his shoulders and looks for his hearing aids on the coffee table. The lamp is gone and he wonders why. 

"Where's the lamp?" he asks after he puts his hearing aids on.

"Don't you remember?" asks Basile. And Arthur hates the broken voice coming out of his mouth.

He shakes his head trying to bring back the memories. But he can't.

"She is broken," says Eliott, simply, "What do you remember?"

Arthur puts his head down and blushes. He doesn't want to say it. But he knows that Eliott knows. 

"I'm sorry, Eliott. I just didn't want to feel anything anymore. I thought if I took one of your pills, I'd get better. It would calm down in my head. But... but I don't know. I just feel so bad."

Eliott has a stern face that Arthur's never seen.

''Fucking Arthur, this is fucking bad. You didn't even take the same medicine as you did at the silo. You could have taken anything. Just because I take his drugs doesn't mean they're good for everybody. In fact, the exact opposite is true. It was super dangerous. We got really scared and"

"It's all right," Basile cup him "I think he feels bad enough for what he's done."

Basile sits on the bed next to Arthur and puts his hand in his. Eliott sighs as he puts his hand in his hair.

''We were really scared. You really freaked out. It was pretty crazy. Don't ever do that again."

Arthur's trying to remember, but nothing's coming. 

"I'm sorry. I can't remember anything. I took the medicine and then you came along, Basile. We lay down on the bed and I kissed you. I wanted to feel better. And... and I just fucking blacked out. I just wanted to forget."

And look up at Basile, looking defeated.

''I guess you told them. Everybody knows, don't they?"

Basile puts his head down and nods gently. And Arthur can't miss Basile's sorry look on his face.

''I'm really sorry. It was too much. You weren't yourself. I had to tell them."

Arthur nods his head and looks at Basile, who always has his head down. He raises his hand so he can gently caress his cheek. He missed touching Basile so much. He let his hand wander down Basile's neck.

''You did good, Baz. You really did. I'm sorry you had to do it. I should have had the strength to tell them. And"

Arthur stops dead. He has just noticed a large red mark at the base of his friend's neck. He pulls gently on the neck of Basile's shirt to follow the mark. It's a long red line that runs along his shoulder blade. Basile steps back as soon as he understands what Arthur is looking at and that's when Arthur understands.

''Jesus, Baz. What the fuck is that?"

Arthur sees that Basile is reluctant to answer. 

"Did I do this to you?"

Basile shakes his hand harder.

"It's all right, Arthur, you weren't yourself. I'm fine. It's nothing."

''No, it's not nothing. Fuck."

He gets his hand back and turns to Eliott. That's when he notices the mark on his friend's jaw.

''Hell, no. Did I do that, too?"

Eliott nods his head and Arthur felt it instantly. The urge to vomit. She's back, and she's even stronger than before. He hurt his friends. His boyfriend. When he doesn't even know if they're really together or not. The worthy portrait of his fucking father. He gets up so fast that they don't have time to catch up with him and runs to the bathroom where he locks himself in before letting it all out again. The contents of his stomach, the tears, the self-loathing. All of it.

He hears his friends ask him to open it, but it's too much. He can't listen to them. And for once, he's glad it's so easy for him. All he has to do is take off his hearing aids.   
He tosses them in the sink and looks in the mirror. All he sees is hate. He feels so bad for hurting his friends like that. For hurting Basile. Hurt everyone around him. Turns out his dad was right, he's just like him. He cheated on his girlfriend. He made Basile cheat on Daphne. He hit his dad. He hit Eliott. He hit Basile. Maybe he hit other people again and he doesn't even remember it.  
He's just a bad person. And it's killing him. It's burning him from the inside out. 

Hell, he should have just swallowed more medicine. He should've just gotten it over with. And everything would be so much better for everyone. It would be so much easier to end it now. At least he wouldn't feel anything. At least he'd never have to look at the marks he made on his friends again. 

He empties the entire contents of the cabinet above the sink, but nothing can help him. He doesn't even know what he's really search. He feels so useless and cowardly. As he sits crying, the door opens on his friends in total panic.

And he doesn't even know if he can call them that anymore.


	23. Trust

Sometimes you push such a sigh of relief that it feels like there is more air in your lungs.   
And that's really what Basile felt when Eliott and Yann managed to break the bathroom lock and open the door, and he could see that Arthur was only crying. 

Because he knows that Arthur can have really dark thoughts and since he stole Eliott's medicine, Basile thought he could do anything. And that thought drove him crazy while the guys were trying to open the door, which luckily was pretty fast, finally. 

So when the door opens and he sees him huddled in a corner, he's so relieved that he feels like there's more air in his lungs. 

But despite this, he's the first one to run up to Arthur's side and take him in his arms. And it fucking hurts so bad when Arthur pushes him away.

''No, Baz. Especially not you. I don't wanna hurt you again."

Basile's trying to understand, but he doesn't want to. He doesn't want Arthur to push him away. So he gets angry.

''Damn it, Arthur, just let me take care of you. Don't you realise you're hurting me when you push me away?"

"He doesn't have his hearing aid" warns Eliott behind him. 

But Basile doesn't care. He's way too pissed off. Why does Arthur always push him away when he wants to be there for him? 

He grabs Arthur's chin to force him to lift his head and wipes away the tears that are ready to flow. 

''Now, you calm down and stay with me. Just me. And you cut the crap. Because I fucking love you, and it hurts me so much to see you like this."

Arthur nods his head and Basile close the door to shut it on Eliott and Yann.

''I know you're hurting, Arthur. And I'm so sorry. But you can't hurt yourself like this. You're gonna have to live with it. And we're all here to help you. I'm here for you, Arthur. Your mother is here for you, no matter how far away she is.Our friends are here for you. You don't have to go through this alone. Just trust me and I'll help you get better."

Arthur nods and Basile stands up. He's glad to see Arthur's eyes following him. He turns the shower knob and sees misunderstanding forming on Arthur's face.

''You stink of vomit. A shower will do you good, I promise." he says, signing as best he can. But he sees Arthur's lips are reading. 

How frustrating it is to know that Eliott signs better than he does. Basile feels like a shitty friend. But he doesn't have time to think about it. At least not right now. He signals Arthur to get up and helps him undress until Arthur finds himself only wearing his boxers. 

It's not like Basile never saw him naked. But this isn't the same. And he doesn't want Arthur to think that all he wants to do is have sex with him. Because that's clearly what he said this morning. And even if he wasn't totally himself, Basile can't help but think it's just a truth that's popped into his foggy brain. 

So he turns around gently, showing Arthur the shower with his head. He tries not to let his gaze wander to the mirror above the sink and he starts to put away everything that has been taken out of the cupboard and is now in the sink. 

''Everything all right, Baz?''

It's Eliott. Of course, Eliott didn't leave. That man is truly an angel. He takes care of Lucas, but he also takes care of all of his friends. Basile knows that Lucas is with Daphne, Alexia and Imane, catching up on his classes and that makes him smile. Only Eliott can force his boyfriend to work tirelessly the day after he is discharged from hospital to make sure he will be reassured and tired enough to sleep through the next night. 

''Yeah, don't worry. You can leave."

''We're staying here, Baz. Call if you need anything."

Basile can imagine Yann and Eliott sitting in the corridor, talking and ready to respond to any call for help. 

''It's OK. Everything's OK."

Basile's just finishing putting away the Q-tips that are all out of the box to scatter everywhere when he hears a sob. He turns around on reflex, forgetting he wanted to give Arthur some privacy. 

And what he sees breaks his heart. Arthur has one hand on his mouth, obviously trying to keep his crying as quiet as possible. But as he bends over underwater, he lets out a sob that seems to come from the bottom of his chest. Before another one follows, Basile is already in the shower and serves Arthur in his arms, lining up his chest against his friend's back. His clothes immediately stick to his skin, and frankly, he barely notices him. 

Arthur turns around and starts sobbing loudly in Basile's neck as he gently strokes his hair and squeezes him as tightly as he can.

"I'm so fucking sorry."

Arthur almost screams. Basile gives him this little hand signal that he knows by heart to tell him that he talks too loud and Arthur sighs as he dries his tears in Basile's shirt which is absolutely wet and Basile is the first one surprised to hear him laugh.

''I'm sorry, Baz. I'm such a shitty friend. I don't understand why you keep being there for me when I'm never there for you."

Basile hugs him a bit tighter and then releases him gently so Arthur can read his lips. Because even if he can nearly sign what he's about to say, he doesn't want to let go of Arthur. 

''Because I love you. And you're here for me. So many times. You don't even notice it. I love you, Arthur. I really do love you, Arthur. Not just for sex."

Arthur frowns and shakes his head. And then he seems to understand that he had to say that this morning.

''I'm sorry if I said that. I'm... sorry."

Basile nods his head and feels a great shiver running down his back. The water running down Arthur's back and into his arms and a bit on his chest is still hot. But the rest of his body is out of the water and he is really starting to feel the discomfort of having wet and cold clothes on him. 

''We should go outside.'' He says gently without losing eye contact.

But Arthur shakes his head, grabs him by the waist and pulls him a little more towards him, directly under the water jet.

''If we could, I'd never want to get out of here.'' Arthur says quietly. 

This time he talks so low that with the sound of the water running over him, Basile has to force himself to hear it. But he understands and nods his head. Basile knows that sometimes it's really hard to get back to reality. They can't stay in that shower forever, but he can give it a few more minutes of respite.

Arthur raises his head gently and his lips caress Basile's lips with a sweet kiss. It's tender and careful. Not at all like this morning when Arthur was so aggressive. Basile thinks back to that morning. Arthur was so angry. You could feel it in his gestures, in his kisses. In the way he held Basile against the mattress, forcing him not to move. That's why Basile finally got out of bed and broke the lamp in his haste. Now it's so different. Basile feels that Arthur needs him in that kiss alone. It's nothing sexual like this morning. It's soft and slow and it gives Basile the impression that Arthur's making a real declaration of love to him, just with his caresses and kisses. Then tenderly, he sticks to him and they both find themselves squeezed under the hot water jet. 

Basile knows that he should slow down and move back, but Arthur's tongue comes licking his lip and he hastens to answer his kiss. He blames himself for being so weak, but he cannot resist when Arthur is so tender. He immediately feels Arthur's hands slipping under his shirt and raises his arms to help him take it off. 

As soon as Arthur throws the shirt on the ground, his chest sticks to Basile's and this contact alone makes him totally electric. Arthur raises his arm, so that he can caress Basile's cheek, but his elbow taps the taps and immediately the water becomes ice-cold, making them scream with surprise as Basile hurries to turn off the water.


	24. Changes

Eliott doesn't even have time to think about his actions, that he's in front of a show he could've done without: seeing his two friends naked in the shower.

Okay, Basile wasn't really naked since he had his jeans on, but still.   
In front of the screams of protest of the two guys Eliott comes out directly from the bathroom, pushing Yann who was barely made it into the little room.

''So? What's wrong with them?" asked Yann lost to be pushed back into the corridor when he thought he had to help Basile.

"It's all right," yells Basile through the door, "just a little problem with the water setting. Everything's fine."

Eliott looks at Yann's totally circumspect look.

''Wait. Were they both in the shower there?"

And Eliott nods his head and holds his laugh.

"So you just saw them both naked?"

"Hey," corrects Basile. "I wasn't naked. You guys can go, it's okay. You'll be all right now."

Yann looks at the door as if he can guess what's going on behind and then shakes his head.

"I still can't believe they're together." Yann says softly, looking up at the sky. "It's too weird."

Eliott shrugs his shoulders and puts his hand on Yann's shoulder. He knows it's not easy for him. He feels like he doesn't really know his friends. At least not as well as he thought he did.

''Love sometimes taps where you don't expect it.''

"How cheesy" laughs Basile through the door.

Eliott can't keep his eyes off the door and smile.

"That's too bad" laughs Eliott. "I was going to be nice and get some clothes for you and Arthur. Because clearly, you need dry clothes. But since you're making fun of me, I'm just gonna go downstairs and find my boyfriend. See you later, guys."

The door opens, allowing only Basile's still-soaked head and chest to be seen. 

''Come on, buddy, sorry. That would be so sweet."

"Is everything all right with Arthur?"

Some people might think that Eliott only cares about Arthur because he's one of Lucas' best friends. But he doesn't. Eliott cares about Arthur because he's his friend. And because he knows how hard it is to feel alone, even when there are so many people around. Eliott knows what it feels like to be different and misunderstood. And to feel sick when there's no sign of it. Most of all, Eliott knows what it feels like to refuse to share your problems with the person you love. So even though he loves all their friends, he feels a special need to be protective of Arthur.

''It's gonna be okay. He's agreed to come down for dinner."

Basile takes him out of his mind. He makes puppy dog eyes at him and blinks his eyelashes, but it doesn't work. 

"OK, I'll meet you downstairs," Eliott says, before he heads up the hall to the stairs.

He hears Basile begging Yann to go and get them some clothes but almost immediately Yann goes to his own room refusing to look through their things. Before going down the stairs, he turns around just in time to see Basile and Arthur, each with a towel around their waist, entering Basile's room. 

And just the sight of his two boys holding hands makes him want to find his better half. He saw Lucas less than three hours ago, but he misses him so much.

He expects to find him in the living room, surrounded by the girls, studying. Considering what happened last night and after this morning's drama with Arthur, Eliott didn't want to leave Arthur alone. Lucas didn't want to go back to bed alone, so Eliott suggested that he work with the girls so that he would be tired enough tonight to sleep properly. And frankly, he hopes it will be enough. Because he knows very well that when Lucas' insomnia hits him, it can last several nights in a row, and that often, the more tired he is, the harder it is for him to sleep. 

And he doesn't know why lucas can't sleep and it's killing him. Lucas told him several times that it wasn't because of him. But Eliott can't help wondering why Lucas doesn't feel reassured enough in his arms to fall asleep peacefully. But he also knows that sometimes their fucking brains act weird and if Lucas tells him that he doesn't know why he can't sleep, Eliott believes him. Because sometimes it's like that, he doesn't know. He just doesn't.

Eliott comes into the living room and he's surprised that it's completely empty. There are nothing but textbooks scattered on the floor. In the kitchen, Imane is busy cleaning the worktop. He doesn't have time to open his mouth when Noée and Alexia come back, their arms full of eggs, flour and milk.

''How is Arthur?'' asks Alexia.

And Noée signs it at the same time, which makes Eliott smile. They're both really worried. And even though she doesn't show it as much, he can see that Imane is too. So he answers and signs at the same time.

''It's OK. He's calm. He just got out of the shower with Baz and they're going downstairs for dinner."

lmane nods his head while Alexia frowns.

"Wait. We just heard them both screaming. Were they both in the shower just now?"

Eliott shrugs his shoulders, but his smile must answer for him because the two girls give each other the knowing glance and start laughing.

"The elbow in the faucet is always a surprise," Alexia admits, smiling, "What about Mika?"

Elliot looks into the living room, hoping Lucas will show up. But no, still no.

"It's okay. Camille called his doctor friend while we waited in the corridor with Yann. Apparently nothing broken, but it would be a nice sprain. Well, what about Lucas?" Eliott got impatient, looking around the living room again.

"He went down to the cellar to get some canned tomato sauce, he wanted to make pizzas. Since he hardly ate anything for lunch, we thought it might help him to cook whatever he wanted."

Eliott looks at the cellar door, which is actually open.

"Who was able to convince him to come down with him?" Eliott laughs as he approaches the door.

''Nobody. He went down alone." says Imane.

Eliott almost threw himself down the cellar stairs. 

"Lucas?"

Holy shit. The cellar isn't that big. He must hear him. Why isn't he answering?

"Lucas, babe?"

Eliott goes directly to the second door, the one where all the cans are stored. And Lucas is there, earphones on, obviously sorting the jars by years.   
Eliott approaches slowly and puts his hand on Lucas' shoulder, who is of course startled before taking off his earphones.

''Fucking Eliott, don't scare me here. How's Arthur?"

''He's fine. Baz is taking care of him. What the fuck are you doing here?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and Eliott takes a jar of sauce from him and puts it back on the shelf.

''I'm grading cans by year. There were a bunch of 2019 cans in the back, hidden by cans from when I was in first grade. So I'm ordering this so no one dies of food poisoning."

Eliott gently strokes his cheek and moves closer to him to finally get as close as possible without hugging him.

''I meant what are you doing here in the cellar? I thought you promised you'd never come down here again? And even less alone."

Lucas smiles and puts his hands on his hips like a superhero.

''See, I'm a strong man when I want to be... I'm not even scared."

He raises his eyebrows and his proud look melts Eliott's heart.

''What's changed? I always knew you were a strong man. But I thought you never wanted to set foot in here again?"

''First of all, I wasn't going to say no to Imane. You know her. Especially since it was my idea to make pizzas. I missed it too much. They should put it on the hospital's menu."

Eliott gently strokes his arm and Lucas takes his arms off his waist and puts them on Eliott's.

''You could've called me, I would've come.''

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head and all of a sudden his air gets really serious.

''After what I've been through, I decided a simple basement couldn't scare me. I needed to do this. I needed to do it alone. I needed to push myself. Cause shit, I'm alive. I almost died, Eliott. And it scares me to admit it. Way more scared than coming down here. But I can't pretend like it never happened. It's like the universe is giving me a second chance. And I owe it to myself to do something with my life. I can't let some stupid fear get in the way of my life. I need changes, Eliott."

Lucas turns his head to look at the gravy pots. And Eliott is certain that Lucas is lost in thought. 

"Am I included in his changes?" Eliott asks with a tight throat. 

Because frankly, he doesn't see where Lucas is going with this. He understands that this is what unconsciously, or not, kept him awake. He wants a change in his life. But Eliott doesn't know what he means by that. Is this a way to break up with him? Fucking insecurity. It hurts so much to think that it could all end, just like that.

''What? No. No, babe. No. You're the one thing in my life that I'm totally sure about. I just want to live totally with you, totally unafraid. I've been scared of enough things up to now. I think I want to rethink what I want to do with my life. I want to be a better friend. A better son. And a better boyfriend."

Eliott puts his head down to rest his forehead against Lucas'. He's so proud. And so in love with this guy. Lucas raises his head slowly and their noses caress. 

''You're already the best boyfriend, baby. I love you so much."

Eliott bends over to kiss him. He missed so much being able to kiss him whenever he felt like it. 

"I love you too."

And Eliott looks around. He never thought he'd see Lucas, so relaxed in that basement, kissing him and telling him he loves him.

"Guys, we're waiting for you" warns Imane, probably from the top of the stairs.

''Let's go make pizza.'' says Eliott as he picks up the jars of tomato sauce.

''I said no poisoning, baby. You don't cook, Eliott."

Lucas looks serious, but funny at the same time like every time eliott wants to cook and Eliott can't help but kiss him. 

"Allowing me to cook could be part of the change, couldn't it?''

''No way, babe. I love you. But no way.''

And Lucas lets his most perfect laugh escape for Eliott's ears.


	25. Pizzas

When they go back into the kitchen, Lucas is surprised to see that everyone is there. Imane, Alexia and Noée have their hands covered in flour and are standing behind several spread-out pizza doughs. Yann, Louis and Emma are sitting at the end of the table and chatting over a drink. Lucas can't hear what's being said, but Yann laughs while Louis patted him on the back.

Mika is trying to steal a piece of goat's cheese while he is sitting on Camille's lap and Imane is hitting his hand with a spoon. Daphne is taking more ingredients out of the fridge and Lucas notices that she is looking at Basile out of the corner of her eye. Lucas thinks it must be really hard for her to see Basile so close to someone else.

Arthur is huddled in Basile's arms and even though he doesn't say anything, he looks better. Basile chats with Camille while tenderly caressing Arthur's back. And even though Lucas is not quite used to seeing his two friends so close, it makes him smile. Fuck, if he had known his friends weren't straight, he would have asked himself a lot less questions. Mika says that you never choose your friends by chance. That's probably true.

"Hey, Lucas, you with us?"

And then Eliott's voice takes him out of his head. Eliott already has his worried boyfriend face. Lucas gently strokes his cheek and smiles to show him he's okay.

"What's up, babe?"

''Sorry, I was just gone. You were saying?"

"How do you do it?" by standing up on his chair, leaving Basile's chest "You just seem so absent sometimes. Eliott's been talking to you for two minutes and you don't see him when he's right in front of you. It's super weird. Are you sure you're okay?"

Lucas looks at him, surprised but happy. It's good to see that Arthur is trying to be part of their group life and he's happy about it. And Arthur seems really worried about Lucas. Knowing him, it's clear that he must blame himself for taking Eliott's attention all day long. So Lucas runs his hand through his hair laughing before he answers.

''Hell if you know. I'm sorry. My brain gets lost sometimes. A lot of times. But everything's fine."

And Eliott puts his arm around his shoulders and kisses his forehead.

''What were you thinking, baby? Are you okay?"

Lucas notices everyone is staring at him, waiting for his answer, and it makes him smile. 

"Come on, Lulu," he encourages Yann by rubbing his chin, "tell Dr Friends what you're thinking and let your friends analyze you."

Lucas bursts out laughing and points to Arthur and Basile.

''I thought if I knew you weren't really straight, I would have been less hesitant to tell you I was gay.'' 

Lucas doesn't miss the surprised look on his friends' faces.

''What? You wanted to know. My brain gets scattered sometimes. I can think of anything at any time and I don't know why."

He looks at Eliott and smiles.

"Even though most of the time I'm thinking about you, baby."

The whole table bursts out laughing as Basile screams, "You're as fucking old-fashioned as Eliott. He's rubbing off on you too much." Basile points his finger at Eliott and laughs "Stop rubbing off on my buddy, man."

Lucas shows him his finger while he's kissing Eliott. And even though Lucas knows everybody's laughing at him, he doesn't care. It's just too good to get together. 

''It hurt me for you that she's the one telling everyone. And then I wish I'd heard it from you directly," Arthur said suddenly.

Lucas shrugs his shoulders but nods his head. He'd definitely have preferred that too.

''Yeah, me too. But I understand her, you know. And then it's far away."

Silence slowly returns around the table.

"I hesitated to tell you that day," Arthur finally says, "That I'm bi. Because I already knew it. But I figured you might misunderstand and think I was onto you, so I didn't say anything. And I didn't want to steal your coming-out."

Lucas laughed. He never would have imagined Arthur was on to him. Just like he never imagined he was on Basile, by the way. 

''You were right. It would've been too much information for me" Yann admits before finishing his drink.

"And you, Basile?" asks Daphne, "did you know back then?"

Basile blushes as he shakes his head. 

"No. Not at all."

"Then how did you know?" she asks. "Just by kissing Arthur?"

All eyes are on Daphne but she shrugs her shoulders as if it means nothing to her and she's fine.

"I'm just wondering, that's all."

''Me too'' admits Yann.

"No," said Basile softly, obviously very embarrassed, "I found out because of Eliott, actually."

All eyes turn to Eliott in an instant, as Lucas drops a "oh, fuck."

Lucas slaps Eliott's arm and frowns.

''See, I told you he was on you. I knew it. You see why I didn't want you to talk to him about sex."

"Hey," complains Basile "no. I didn't say that. Sorry, Eliott, but no. I've never been on you."

Eliott laughs, but wave to him it's okay.

''I've never really thought about sex before. I mean, I thought it was okay to date girls. And then Eliott came along and Lucas transformed. Before, he was always cranky but ever since Eliott came into his life, he's been glowing. And it was just wonderful to see him so happy. And then Eliott told us that he was pansexual. I never thought about that. I didn't even know it existed. But in the end, why limit myself to just sex? Why not just love the person who makes me feel good and allows me to shine without thinking about sex? So there you go, Eliott just helped me think about it but no Lucas, I never wanted your boyfriend. Eliott, I love you, but just like my bro."

"It's ready," Imane warns as he takes the first two pizzas out of the oven. "Careful, it's hot. Like the way this discussion is shaping up."

The other rounds of pizza are barely out of the oven when they're swallowed. Even Lucas eats with an ogre's appetite. The discussion quickly returns to the big topic of the moment: year-end exams and school entrance exams which are impossible because of the confinement. 

As he takes a slice of pizza, Eliott's cell phone starts ringing. Eliott tightens up immediately while Lucas is amazed at his new ringtone. Eliott programs a different ringtone depending on who is calling him and Lucas doesn't know this one. With his phone on the work surface behind them, Lucas reaches back to grab it, but Eliott jumps up to grab it first.

And just because of that Lucas knows that his boyfriend is hiding something from him.

And before he thinks about his actions, he holds Eliott's cell phone in his hands and freezes when he sees the caller. 


	26. Call

Lucas answer the phone, taking a step back so that Eliott can't get his phone back. And before he knows it, he's out in front of the hutches in the dark of night. With all his friends laughing, he couldn't hear anything anyway. 

''Eliott? Are you there?"

That voice. It hasn't changed. Of course it hasn't changed. A voice doesn't change. But right now,it hurts lucas to hear it. It's been so long. Lucas looks at the caller again. He knows that number by heart. But he never thought he'd see it show up on Elliot's phone.

''Eliott? Can you hear me? Oh, no, tell me everything's okay.."

Lucas hasn't heard from him in over a year. And it hurts to hear it again. That brings him right back to that church he left in the middle of it to go after Eliott. Just by hearing his voice, he's back to that time. So he takes a deep breath before he can talk.

"It's me, Dad.''

Lucas hears a sucked breath on the phone.

''Lucas, how are you? When did you get back? Or could Eliott have come to the hospital? Oh, Lucas, I'm so glad to hear from you.''

Lucas looks at Eliott standing next to him and frowns. Because he doesn't understand why his father is calling Eliott on a Saturday night.

''I just got home yesterday. I'm better now."

And then it hits Lucas. Right in the heart. And it's so violent, he backs away and his back hits the wall of the house. 

His dad hasn't called him since he found out he's gay. And before that, he only called him to talk about his mom. And if he's calling now, it's probably because she's not well. Lucas knows she wasn't fine. He called her a few times when he was in the hospital. He didn't tell her he was sick. She was already too worried about this epidemic that she saw as a sign of the apocalypse she was waiting for. 

He starts panting, thinking about this morning. He wanted to call her, but the nurses wouldn't put the call through, explaining that she wasn't well. It's happened a few times before. Often, his mother ends up calling him back a few days later, when his seizure has passed.

But now Lucas understands. If his father calls him, it's because his mother isn't well. What if she's infected? What if her immune system is as rotten as her son's? What if she's dead? Why the hell is he calling on Eliott's cell phone? And how did he get his number?

Tears start rolling down Lucas' cheeks and he's sniffling.

''You're calling for Mom, aren't you?''

His dad stops by and Lucas is expecting the worst.

''What? No, Lucas. I was worried about you. I just wanted to hear from you. I've been calling Eliott every other day since he told me you were sick. I've been really scared for you, son."

Lucas turns around to look at Eliott.

"How did know?"

''Eliott called me one night. He said you've been sick and in intensive care for three days. The doctors said you should expect the worst. He just wanted me to know what was going on. I've been so scared for you, Lucas. I've been thinking a lot about our relationship. When we can get out of lockdown, I'd really like us to talk and have a real relationship. I know you're really mad at me and I know that"

"No" cuts Lucas.

"Please, son."

"No" repeats Lucas "it's okay. I agree with you. I'd like that too."

Lucas hears a "thank you" and then he hears a sob and realizes that his father is crying.

"I'm so sorry, Lucas. I've been a really crappy dad. I really want to be a part of your life. I'm gonna let you get some rest and stop crying on the phone, but if you will, I'd like to call you tomorrow."

"I'd like that too."

''Give my love to Eliott. I can't wait to meet him in person, he's such a great guy, Lucas. I'm glad, you really deserve this. I'm sorry I didn't realize that before."

"Thanks, Dad."

''Have a good rest, son. Love you."

Lucas looks at the phone before he hangs up. Eliott is standing right next to him, but no part of his body is touching Lucas'. And Lucas knows that normally he'd be upset - he'd be completely insane, he'd feel betrayed by Eliott. But right now, he just feels so lucky to have him around.

''Well? You're calling my dad behind my back? But how did you get his number?"

Eliott lowered his head slightly so he could look Lucas in the eye.

''Your phone is synched to our computer so I have access to all your contacts, babe. I'm really sorry, I wanted to tell you. But we haven't really had time to talk since yesterday."

''We spent yesterday afternoon talking, Eliott.'' points out Lucas.

Eliott shrugs his shoulders and runs his hand through his hair... And Lucas hates to see him do that nervous tic.

''It's right. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you mad. I didn't want you to worry about it. I just wanted you to rest and avoid any stress."

''I don't get upset,'' says Lucas, ''I'm glad you called him and I understand why. And you were right. He had a right to know. You knew he didn't want to meet you and he didn't accept our relationship and yet you called him. You're just amazing, baby."

''You make me amazing, Lucas.''

"You're so cheesy," laughs Lucas as he snuggles up to him. "Basile is right."

"But you like it, don't you?"

"I love it," confirms Lucas before kissing him. "Now let's go inside, it's really too cold outside."

The kitchen is now almost empty. All the friends are in the living room watching a news channel, except Basile and Arthur. And frankly, Lucas doesn't feel like watching the pandemic numbers tonight at all. So he sits across from his friends.

"You'r fine, Lulu?" Basile asks.

Lucas nods his head and smiles as Eliott sits next to him.

"You'r fine, Arthur?"

Arthur nods his head. 

"Yeah. It's gonna be okay. I think I need some sleep."

"Me, too." says Lucas "Let's go to bed, baby, huh?"

"With great pleasure," Eliott says as he gets up.

"Eliott. You," whispers Basile.

"Yeah, I'll give you that upstairs." Eliott confirms with a wink.

Lucas salute his friends in the living room, then joins Eliott as he goes upstairs. They go back to their room, but Eliott goes through his backpack and comes right out. Lucas only hears Basile thank him before the bedroom door closes and Eliott joins him on their bed.

"What are you doing with Baz?" Lucas asks, looking suspicious.

"You don't wanna know, baby," Eliott says, smiling.

"Come on, Eliott. Stop trying to protect me and stop keeping secrets from me."

All of a sudden, Eliott straightens up.

''First of all, I ain't got no secrets from you. Okay. He asked me to get him some lube so he'd have everything he needed in case they"

"All right, all right" stops Lucas by putting his hand over Eliott's mouth. "Okay. You were right, I don't wanna know. I don't want to imagine my friends in action while I'm in bed with you."

''I know.'' Eliott laughs. ''So now come to bed with me, baby.''

Eliott lifts up the corner of the blanket and the two boys crawl under it kissing and getting undressed. Lucas lets his hands slide over Eliott's body and he holds him tighter. 

''Let me just hold you for two seconds, Lucas. I just need a hug, two seconds."

Lucas hugs him. It's just perfect. He closes his eyes, feeling all the tiredness of the day falling on him. He doesn't have time to count to two that he's already asleep. 


	27. Bug

When he opens his eyes, he immediately closes them again. It must be late in the morning because the sun is already flooding behind the curtains. Lucas smiles as he stretches. He hasn't slept so well for so long.   
He gets closer to Eliott and smiles when he realizes that he is lying on the blankets. Then, without opening his eyes, he lies down against him, kisses his neck while slipping his hand into his shorts. And the half-awake moan who makes himself heard next to him makes Lucas startle and opens his eyes instantly.

"Mika?"

Lucas jumps out of bed so fast he spins because his legs are still stuck in bed. 

''Oh kitten, are you okay?''

No, he's not okay. Lucas is face down on the floor, his legs are still on the mattress and he's stuck in the sheet and he hit the wall.

''No, it's not fucking fine.'' Lucas turns around and tries to get his legs totally tangled up in the fucking sheet. ''What the fuck are you doing in my bed?''

''I volunteered to keep an eye on you so Eliott could eat. It's 2:00pm, Lucas."

"Why the fuck did you let me touch you?"

The door opens as Lucas finishes his sentence and he starts grunting and he doesn't have to look to see who's coming in. And he kicks the sheet real hard so he can get out of there.

"Lucas, what happened?" Eliott asks, running up to his side to help him get up, throwing the sheet to the side of the bed.

''What happened was I thought I'd wake up next to you and want to cuddle. And surprise, it wasn't you."

Eliott frowns as he turns to Mika.

''Hey, I fell asleep. I'm sorry. By the time I realised it wasn't Camille waking me up, he'd already jumped out of bed and beaten the shit out of me."

"You're a really bad babysitter," laughs Eliott.

Mika gets up pretending to be upset and then gives both boys a black look. He opens his mouth, probably to grumble, but he's stopped in his tracks and his look turns into a worried look.

"Damn, Lucas, your nose is bleeding."

Lucas automatically puts his hand under his nose. Damn it, he's really bleeding. He gets up and runs to the bathroom. 

Eliott hands him a glove soaked in cold water and gently kisses him while they wait for the bleeding to stop.

''I'm so sorry, Lucas. I should have stayed with you."

Lucas shakes his head and whispers "it's okay" but the blood in his throat makes him want to vomit. He starts coughing and sees Eliott's worried look in his eyes.

''It's okay, I'm all right. Don't worry about me so much."

''It's my job, baby. I could never stop worrying about you."

Lucas looks up but puts his head on Eliott's shoulder. 

"Looks like you're gonna have a big bump," says Eliott, pointing to Lucas' forehead starting to change color. 

Lucas sighs. Sometimes he would like to react more calmly to certain situations.

****

Lucas is looking at his bruise and smiling. He's almost gone. And Lucas can't wait for him to really leave. For the past week, his friends have been having fun reminding him by imitating him falling out of bed. Of course, Mika had to tell it in detail... As if it had never happened to anyone else to fall like that, caught in the sheet.

"Baby, it's about to start, hurry up."

Lucas washes his hands and joins the whole gang in the living room. The mood is tense, and so is Lucas. In a few minutes, the President will make a special address, and given the current numbers, it's clear this is not to announce the end of confinement. Lucas sits down next to Eliott and slips his hand into his. Eliott looks at him smiling and then looks at the screen again when the national anthem sounds. 

And almost from the first words, Lucas bug. Totally. He turns to his friends. They are all sitting on the edge of the armchairs or the sofa and look at the screen, their mouths wide open, their eyes wide open. In the end, it's a bit reassuring to see that everyone bug. The President's words resonate in his head: _global pandemic. 70% of caregivers affected. Requisitioning people with covid immunity to help in hospitals and nursing homes. Mandatory civic duty. Census tomorrow at city hall. Military convoys._

The anthem sounds again, announcing the end of the speech, but nobody moves. It was Mika who finally broke the silence.

''Okay. We need a drink, guys. Yes, we need a drink."

Everyone nods and heads into the kitchen without a word. 

''I'm sorry for you youngsters,'' Louis finally says over a drink, ''I liked having you here. Come on, cheer up. It won't be as bad as if it was a real war."  
  
Everybody drinks his glass and watch Louis walk away and greet them.

''OK, we're not gonna sit around and sulk. This is supposed to be our last night together, so let's make the most of it."

Lucas looks at Emma. She's so right. It's silly, but Lucas is scared. He's afraid he can't keep up with his friends.He's afraid of being split up with Eliott. He's got his certificate of immunity to the virus, but he doesn't know if he'll be deemed fit since he's only been out of the hospital nine days. He's shaking his head to take his mind off it.

''You're right. Tomorrow we'll go to City Hall and have a census taken as requested. We're in great shape, we can do that and"

''Not you, Lucas'' cuts Eliott. ''You were in intensive care less than two weeks ago, there's no way you're going in there.''

Lucas gives him a glare.

''There's no way you're leaving without me. I'm in."

"Lucas, no" screams Eliott, which jolts half the table.

Lucas feels the anger rising inside him, but try to be understanding.

''Eliott. I love you. But you don't get to decide for me. I'm in. Whether you want to or not."

"I agree with Eliott" said Mika softly.

"Well, not me" angry Lucas, "and it's still me who decides!"

"Nothing says we'll all go to the same place," says Alexia, looking at her phone. "On the government website, they say we'll be redirected to places with a shortage of caregivers and based on our experiences."

''Do they say if they fail those who have been in intensive care?'' asked Eliott, looking at Alexia's phone.

"Eliott, Fuck!" scolded Lucas by elbowing him in the arm "Stop trying to leave me here alone."

"We'll be here," said Imane, pointing to Noée. "I think it's the first time I regret not drinking alcohol. I wish I'd been immune. I feel so useless."

Alexia immediately took her in her arms.

"For one thing, we don't know if that's what infected us."

Imane nodded his head and gave Emma a sorry look.

"Besides, I'm glad to know you girls are going to look after my grandpa," says Basile ''Hell, I hope we'll be together. I'm never gonna get any sleep tonight without knowing what's coming tomorrow."

"Shall we all sleep together in the living room?" says Mika "OMG I don't think I've ever been so anxious."

Lucas looks at Eliott next to him and nods. He doesn't want to spend the night fighting Eliott, but there's no way he'll decide his life like that, even if he thinks it's for his own good.

  
The rest of the evening is a move of blankets and pillows, a lot of research on the requisition, and twelve friends who end up falling asleep all huddled together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go for a little change...


	28. Assigment

Damn it. Lucas curses himself with bad luck every time he walks in the door of the assigment room.  
Lucas wasn't planning on saying he was in recovery just two weeks ago. But with his usual bad luck, he immediately recognizes the military who receive him in the town hall. 

''Lucas'' greets him as the youngest of the soldiers ''You can turn around now, you need rest.''

Lucas looks at him frowning. There's no way he'll turn back.

"I want to commit!" Lucas has been thinking about it all night. He's never been so sure of himself. 

The oldest soldier approaches him smiling.

''It's not a commitment, kid. It's an assignment. But we don't send the sick to the front lines. You're gonna go home and get some rest. That's all I'm saying."

Lucas shakes his head.

''I wouldn't leave this place without an assignment. There's no way I'm going home to sit on my couch while all my friends are fighting to help our country. I'm immune, I'm healthy, I'm in great shape. I can do this. I'll do it."

The two soldiers exchange looks and then the older one nods his head.

''Your boyfriend is not going to be happy. He asked us to fail you."

Lucas grunts in spite of himself. He knows that Eliott only wants what's best for him. But he can't stand that he's trying to decide for himself. Lucas can feel the anger building up inside him. Eliott asked him not to be like Lucille, never to decide for him, and that's exactly what the fuck he's doing to him. What a fucking hypocrite

''He's just worried, kid. Don't be mad at him. Okay, do you know anything about mental illness?"

Lucas is surprised by the question, but nods his head.

''My mother is schizophrenic. And"

Lucas is silent. And if Eliott didn't say it. And if the military refuses to assign Eliott because of that, he'll blame Lucas for betraying him. What if

''And your boyfriend's bipolar, we know. That's why we're sending him to a mental hospital 20 miles away. They're desperately understaffed, but the immunized people we've been seeing all day are too scared to go. So if it's okay with you, we'll put you there too."

Lucas nods his head and smiles. If he could, he'd jump on the spot. 

''At the slightest sign of tiredness or shortness of breath, you stop, OK? Either way, you will be seen for a doctor there. It's good to do your civic duty, but don't put your health at risk, kid."

Lucas thanks them, picks up his paper, goes out to immediately join his friends gathered in the courtyard. And even though there's a dozen other people waiting there, he holds his paper over his head with unabashed joy.

"I'm in!"

He sees Eliott's face break and immediately places himself in front of him.

''You ain't gonna get rid of me that way, Eliott Demary! Don't you dare try to make decisions for me, okay? I'm not doing it with you, so don't ever do that to me again."

''I'm sorry, Lucas. I was just trying to protect you."

''I know,'' says Lucas by looking him in the eye, ''but I'm a big boy, Eliott. I need you to trust me. If I tell you I can do this, then I can do this." He quickly kisses Eliott to show he's not angry before he turns to his friends and says, "Now, are we all in the same place or not?"

"No," Basile says softly, "we took stock while you were in there. We're divided in two: Eliott, you, Arthur, me, Camille and Mika are headed to the mental hospital while Yann, Alexia, Daphne and Emma go to the child welfare home.''

Lucas nods. It's understandable, I guess. The three girls are used to babysitting, and although it has always surprised him, Emma works almost every holiday at a leisure centre. But why Yann?

"Sorry," he says quietly, putting his hands in his pockets, staring at his feet. 

And then Lucas understands. He refused the psychiatric hospital. His best friend is one of those people afraid to go to a mental hospital. And even though he's disappointed to be separated from him, he understands.

''Don't worry, it's OK,'' says Eliott with a hug. ''It's OK to be uncomfortable with that. No one's judging, Yann."

"Guys, let's go" announces a military man. ''Mental Hospital with me. Children's home with Dan. General Hospital with Sophie."

Everybody does a huge group hug before splitting up, promising to keep each other updated every day at least by text.

Lucas slips his hand into Eliott's and he gets into a military van for the second time in less than a month. Except this time, no medical bed, only two benches facing each other. And it makes it look awful like a war movie. This is really not how Lucas was planning to start spring break, but he's too glad I'm not going back to the farm.

Eliott sits at the very end of the bench, and Lucas sits next to him, followed by Camille, Mika, Basile and then Arthur who rides last.

On the bench in front of them are two women in their forties, Suzanne and Christelle, as well as Suzanne's daughter, Fannie and her best friend Florence. They are barely 18 years old and look overexcited.

Just before the truck closes, a boy who looks barely older than them, with platinum blond hair, climbs up and settles down right in front of Lucas.

''Hi, my name is Thomas. You're not from around here, are you? And then"

He stops, staring at Basile motionless as if he'd seen a ghost. Lucas bends over so he can look at Basile who is now very pale. 

"Basile?"

Basile looks at the truck door, which is now closed. And he seems to notice only now that the truck is moving. He gives the impression that if he hadn't, he would have run out the door.

''Baz? What the hell are you doing here?"

Lucas can see that Basile is panicking. Everyone can see it. That, and he's letting go of Arthur's hand like it's burning him. 

"Do you two know each other?" Eliott asks softly as he steps to the bench to hear better.

''Yeah, sure. He was my twin brother's boyfriend up until last year."

And then all eyes turn to Basile as he shrinks into his seat, sticking his head in his hands .


	29. His name

Basile knows the way between his grandfather's house and the psychiatric hospital by heart.

Because for a year, he's made the trip hundreds of times. Especially in the two summers. The one before he went to high school and the one after. And once a month his entire sophomore year. It had become his ritual: take the train on Friday night, spend Saturday here, Sunday morning with Grandpa Louis and return Sunday night on the last train.

Normally the way it's a 20-minute drive. But here, in this military truck, the trip seems to have lasted an hour.

And he knows it hasn't. But he can't think straight since he saw Thomas. Holy shit. He should never have asked to be assigned to the psych ward, he should have known Thomas would be there. At the same time he couldn't have known he was immune. He knew it would be hard to come back here and the staff would probably recognize him. But he couldn't refuse. No one would understand why. 

He takes a breath and looks up. Everyone's looking at him. Damn it. All his friends know he lied. But why did he hide behind Eliott's pansexuality to talk about his sexuality? He knows why. Because it was easier. And he didn't want to hurt Daphne. And he didn't want his friends to know that he's the biggest hypocrite of all time. A fraud. 

''Basile, please, just tell me how you are.'' Sign Arthur. 

Basile looks at him and forces himself to give him a little smile. It pleases him that Arthur tries to communicate with him without Thomas being able to understand what they're saying.

"I'm sorry," signs Basile, "I'm sorry I lied."

"It's all right," signs Arthur. 

Basile finally looks at Thomas, who looks at him in amazement.

"Sorry, Tom. I didn't expect to see you. It's been a long time. It's just..."

Thomas nods his head.

''Yeah. It's been a year, seven months and ten days. But who's counting, right? I thought you'd at least come say hello when you came to your grandfather's. But I guess you're the one who comes to see my brother every once in a while, right? It was you who came to the last holiday?"

Basile looks at his friends, obviously even more embarrassed.

''Well, of course. Yeah, that's me. I go there every time I come here. I wanted to come and see you. But it was too hard. I saw your mother once in town. I couldn't make it. And you...

Thomas looks at him sorry.

''Sorry, Baz. I know. Me too. Why do you think..."

Thomas looks up to heaven and Basile shrugs his shoulders as he sees his friends look at each other and don't understand. Of course they don't understand. Basile had managed to hide everything until now.

''It would please Valentin to know that you're going to help at the hospital.''

Hearing his first name still hurts as much as ever. 

Valentin.

Basile closes his eyes, just for a moment. And he's back in July 2017, when he first heard of Valentin. 

_''Grandpa, I want to go to her. Tell me which bus I have to catch."_

_Louis joins Basile laughing._

_''Hey, boubou, where do you think? There's no bus here."_

_Basile looks at his stoic grandfather. Damn, why did his mother have to do a top-three manic episode when they'd been in the country for a week? Basile couldn't help wondering if coming here was a sign of the crisis. And his father who is away in the States...even though Basile is happy to be at his grandfather's because he loves him, he needs to see his mother. So he sighs._

_''How am I supposed to get there, since you don't drive anymore?''_

_His grandfather hesitates, then raises his eyebrows and picks up the phone. Basile just waits until he hangs up the phone._

_''OK. Bico's son will pick you up in 10 minutes."_

_"Who's that?" Basile asks, perplexed._

_"The hairdresser's son. He goes there every day."_

_Basile packs his bag and stuffs his headphones in his bag right when his grandfather calls him._

_"Boubou, your driver's here."_

_Basile goes down the stairs and joins his grandfather in the courtyard. He's talking to a boy, not much older than Basile, with brown hair, leaning against his moped._

_''Do you think I'm going to get on top on that?'' Basile looks at his grandfather in amazement. ''Do you think Mom would agree? I thought somebody would drive me in the car."_

_His grandfather looks at him, shrugs his shoulders and lets out a little laugh._

_''Thomas, this is Basile, my all-Parisian grandson. Apologize for his rudeness.'' He turns to Basile ''You wanted to go see your mother. It's the only way I could find for today. So do as you please."_

_And Basile watches as his grandfather quietly walks into the house._

_''A s'vei, Louis'' said the boy as he got on his moped. He hands a helmet to Basile and raises his eyebrows "v-nous d'aveu d'aveu nos? à voute leisi."_

_Basile looks at him completely lost. He knows a little Norman patois but this kid speaks it way too fast._

_"What?"_

_"I'm asking you if you're coming or not. It's up to you. Fuck, you don't speak patois?"_

_"No. Sorry."_

_''Don't worry, I speak a bit of French too,'' mocks Thomas ''So do you climb up or stay here? Would you be scared maybe?"_

_Basile grabs the helmet and puts it on before he climbs behind Thomas. He's certainly not going to tell him that he's never been on a two-wheeler._

_''Okay. I'm leaving at 2pm", Thomas says, locking his lock in front of the hospital. ''If you're not there, I'm leaving without you. I'm working at the grocery store at 3:00pm."_

_"Wow, you work at the hospital from 10:00 to 2:00pm and then you go to the grocery store? What are you, hyperactive or something?"  
_

_Thomas looks up at the sky as he heads towards the entrance of the hospital._

_''What? No, you're not hyperactive. I don't work here. I'm here to see my brother."_

_"Every day?" Basil says amazed._

_''Yeah. Valentin is my twin brother. I need him as much as he needs me. As long as he's here, I'll come every day. 2:00pm!"_

Valentin...

Fucking hole in his chest that'll never close. He closes his eyes and breathes softly to hold the tears that are forming in his eyes.

He feels Mika's hand gently caressing his arm. Of course Mika understands. Even though the story is not the same, Basile couldn't help feeling bad when he heard the story of Mika and his bestfriends.

The truck stops and when a soldier opens the door, Basile is the first to get out and walk towards the building without speaking. His friends seem to understand him because they're standing right behind him. He just wants to disappear. But Thomas catches up with him almost immediately.

''I'm sorry, Baz. But it's hard for me too, you know. I'm only doing it for him. For everyone else who fights like him. I'm trying to be strong but it's killing me to be here."

Basile looks at him. Thomas' eyes are clouded with tears as he looks at the building.

''Have you been back here since?''

Thomas looks at the building and then shakes his head.

''No, never. I didn't fucking think it'd be this hard. And we haven't even been inside.''

"Neither did I," Basile admits ''but I'm glad you're here."

Thomas turns back to Basile again and puts his hand between them. Basile looks at his friends right behind him and grabs Thomas' hand before walking to the front door. 


	30. Sweet

"Basile Savary?" cried the woman waiting for them at the front desk as he walked through the door. "And Thomas? Oh very nice color, Thomas. I didn't expect to see you here. let alone at the same time, both of them." Her gaze falls on the hands of the boys, who are still holding on to each other, "Oh. That's nice.''

Basile lets go of Thomas' hand almost immediately.

''No, Séverine. It's not that. We just''

''We just need to work up the courage to come here,'' Thomas ends, ''but we're glad we can help.''

She nods and smiles, then puts her hand on Basile's shoulder.

''Valentin would have been happy to see you supporting each other. Have you been back long?" she asks softly.

''I've been here since the beginning of the confinement with my friends.'' He turns to show the boys behind him. ''Séverine, these are my friends. Eliott, Lucas, Mika, Camille and Arthur. Friends, this is Séverine, the director."

Basile doesn't miss Arthur's wounded face. And even if he understands, he can't. He can't introduce him as his boyfriend. He gives his friends a sorry look without looking at Arthur. It's too hard. 

''Welcome, everyone. Thank you so much for being here. Whatever you're going to do, we need all the help we can get. You'll be staying in pairs because we don't want you to be alone. We know it's not easy to work here, especially when you're not used to mental illness. But don't worry, a staff member will always be nearby. And if you have any concerns, we'll be here to help you. Come on, let's start by talking over coffee."

After a general presentation of the hospital, the roles are quickly assigned. Camille and Mika are sent to the kitchen, since Camille's parents were restaurateurs. Mika promises to serve the fruit juices as if they were cocktails and makes Séverine laugh with his enthusiasm. 

Fannie and Florence will help with the laundry, while Christelle and Suzanne will help in the morning with the care and in the afternoon with the laundry. 

Eliott and Lucas are assigned to the first floor and will help distribute the breakfast trays in the morning and help with the meals. Basile, Arthur and Thomas will do almost the same but on the second floor. The rest of the time, they are in charge of entertaining the residents. 

Basile takes the cup of coffee that Arthur hands him. He can't help but turn to Thomas when he hears him ask for sugar and feels his heart ache when he sees him put two pieces in his cup.

_''Hey,Thomas, it's me again. It's 2:15pm and I'm next to your moped...but you're not there...or I wouldn't call you. I'm waiting for you... by the way, your voicemail announcement sucks."_

_Basile keeps his phone in his pocket. Basile's known Thomas for two weeks and he's driven him here five times already. So far he's never been late. He looks around again. No trace of the brown._

_So he goes back to the hospital and heads for the first floor. He knows that's where Thomas is going while Baz's mother is on the second floor. He's about to ask a nurse if she's seen him when he finally sees her._

_He stares at the coffee machine as if it were the hardest choice he has ever had to make in his life._

_''I've been waiting 20 minutes for you and you're getting coffee? You could have texted me, though." Basile grumbles._

_''Er...sorry. Do you want one?" he asks, smiling._

_Basile looks at him carefully and then runs his hand through his hair._

_''Shit, sorry. Are you Valentin?"_

_There's a huge smile on the boy's face._

_''Yeah. Basile, I guess. How'd you know? Usually no one can tell us apart at first glance."_

_Basile shrugs his shoulders and laughs. He takes out a euro in his pocket and clicks on ''Extra caramel cappuccino.''_

_''First of all, your brother only speaks to me in patois. He says it's so I'll learn, but I'm sure it's just to annoy me. And then he never smiles like you."_

_Valentin blushes and Basile takes the burning cup._

_''Would you like some?''_

_Valentin nods and takes a sip before moaning softly with a smile. Basile takes a coin out of his pocket and does the same thing again._

_"Do you know where your brother is?" finally asks Basile as he takes his coffee._

_''Yeah. Warden's office. She'll probably tell him he's coming too often."_

_Basile leans up against the wall to face Valentin._

_"Do you think he comes too much?"_

_Valentin hesitates, then shrugs his shoulders._

_''Well, that depends. If I think about me, I wish he was here all the time. He's my twin. It's like I'm a half amputee when he's not around. But if I think about him, I wish he'd never come and live the normal life of a 16-year-old."_

_''He must feel exactly the same way about you,'' Basile points out._

_''Yeah. That's what twins are like." He takes a sip of coffee with a smile on his face ''but never offers him coffee like this, cos he hates it when it's sweet. He'd definitely spit it in your face."_

_Basile laughs out loud as he imagines the scene and Valentin laughs with him._

Camille elbows him. Basile looks at him surprised but realizes that Séverine must have been talking to him.

''Sorry. You were saying?"

"I was asking if you still draw, Basile?"

Basile looks at his friends around him. Lucas looks at him like he feels sorry for him. Of course, Lucas knows what it's like to have a secret and for everyone to find out. Eliott looks at him questioningly and Arthur doesn't even look at him. 

''No, I stopped. But Eliott does. He's in art school."

''OK'' says Séverine. ''Eliott, Basile, could you organize an art therapy workshop for us?'' 

Basile shakes his head. No, he can't. He was really planning never to go back to that room. It was part of the rules he made when he agreed to come here: No going into Room 108 and no going into the art room.

''No, I'm not."

''Please'' begs Séverine, ''the residents really like it. You know how good it can do them."

Basile shakes his head. Of course he does. Eliott looks at Basile and nods. Basile's already shivering when he imagines he's walking into this room.

"Doesn't anyone play an instrument by any chance?" asks Séverine.

"Lucas plays piano, guitar and drums" says Arthur.

A huge smile appears on Séverine's face.

"It's perfect. I couldn't have dreamed better. Usually a volunteer comes to play during the art workshop. It helps the residents to concentrate. Can you do it?"

''Just play for fun? No problem." Lucas nods in agreement.

''Thomas, will you help Romain at the pool? He can't teach anymore because he can't do it alone. But as you're used to, he'll be happy to do water physio again."

''I can help,'' Arthur remarked, ''I'm good at swimming. I don't know anything about water physio, but I'm willing to learn."

"This is really perfect." Suzanne says, "Thank you very much, everyone. Don't think of it as just a little help. Patients really need to be stimulated not to think about why they're in the hospital. And every help is very welcome. Now, I'm going to show you your accommodations. Since the day unit is closed, you'll have the whole third floor to yourself. You can ask to leave whenever you want of course. But otherwise, you live here to avoid becoming a healthy carrier and transmitting the virus.''

Basile watches everyone go up the stairs but instead of following them, he takes a step back and sighs.

''You know, I know what it's like to be trapped in a lie.'' Lucas says softly.

Basile jumps and turns around, surprised to find his friend next to him.

''I also know that you've always been there for me, Baz. When you found out I was gay, when I was lost with Eliott, when I was in trouble because he wasn't well, when I had the troubles with my dad. You were always there. So I'm here if you need me, okay?"

Basile finally looks at his friend. He expected to see some confusion or disappointment on Lucas' face. But no, he just has his comforting smile.

''Thank you, Lulu. I didn't think I'd have to face all this so soon."

''I can imagine. But if I can help, just tell me how."

''I don't know. That's the problem."

Lucas opens the door to the stairs and signals to Basile to go ahead of him.

''Okay. But don't leave Arthur behind too much. It's hard for him too."

''I know. I know. But, um..."

Basile sighs and Lucas give up the door and it closes in front of them.

"But?" insists Lucas.

"I don't know if he can forgive me."

"For hiding that part of your life?"

"Yeah. Especially since... I already knew him when all this happened. It was right before I met you, but I was dating him when we met. And until the summer of 2018, actually."

''That's what we understand.'' Lucas says quietly.

''Yeah. I met him the summer before I started high school. And we dated for a little over a year. I'm sorry I kept that from you. But when we met in ninth grade, Yann was always talking about Emma and the girls and I just wanted to blend in. And then the guys kept calling you "the gay guy," and I was afraid you'd reject me if you found out I had a boyfriend."  
  
''Is that why you were never available on the first weekend of every month? You didn't have any family obligations, uh?"

Basile shakes his head.

''No. I used to come here. I was coming here to see him."

Lucas seems to think and then he takes a long sigh.

''It's still fucked up. We all had secrets from each other. It's like asking if we were real friends."

''Yeah'' confirms Basile ''but since then we've shown several times that we were there for each other.''

''It's true'' confirms Lucas ''so come on, let's go upstairs. You need to clear some things up with Arthur. If he really loves you, he'd rather live with all this than live without you. I can assure you of that."

And this time, when Lucas opens the door to the stairs, Basile doesn't hesitate to walk up the stairs next to his friend.


	31. Nice to meet you

They barely have time to put down their bags when Séverine announces that lunch will be served in 15 minutes so they can go down to their respective floors to help and meet the residents. The 4 girls have already left for the laundry with the person in charge of the linen.

Arthur hesitates then puts Basile's bag on the bed next to his, hoping that this is also what he wants. It is certain that Basile did not even realize that he had taken his bag to take it upstairs.  
Basile is totally lost and Arthur doesn't really know what to do. Because ever since Thomas got on that truck, Arthur's just totally lost too. He feels like he doesn't know his boyfriend anymore. And even though lately everything was pretty clear between them and they were officially a couple to their friends, now he wonders if that's still the case. And he's fucking hoping it's still the case. He really needs to talk to Basile.

He smiles when he hears Séverine laughing at Mika's words. Mika seems so comfortable. He's himself, exactly as if he were at the roommate or on the farm. And frankly, Arthur is sure that it won't be long before he's walking around in his boxers in the middle of the 3rd floor.

It's when they get to the second floor landing that they run into Lucas and Arthur. 

"It's lunch time," explains Séverine, looking at the boys, "come all to the second floor and I'll show you the place. The first floor is an exact copy of this floor. The only difference is the age group."

Severina pushes the door to the second floor and shows the catering area to the group.

''On this floor, only adult residents are hospitalized. They are free to move around and are normally completely harmless to themselves and the staff. On the first floor, it's the same thing, but with teenagers. The children are normally only admitted to the day hospital, but with the virus, we had to stop that. And the so-called "dangerous" cases are in the left wing of the hospital. Since you're here, we can send more qualified caretakers to this building. So you'll never have to deal with the so-called "at-risk" cases."

Arthur's trying to listen to as many explanations as he can, but there's been a hell of a lot of interference with his hearing aid since he walked through the upstairs door. He's adjusting the sound level, but it's not making any difference. It's not as if he's never experienced this before but he's starting to see everyone looking at him and it's making him uncomfortable. Shit, finally, he hasn't listened to anything for at least 5 minutes, too busy adjusting his hearing aid with a grin. 

''Do you need help?'' asks Séverine nicely.

''I'm sorry, I have a problem with my hearing aid. Just two seconds."

He tries again to keep the volume down to a minimum. Usually that limits the interference. But this time it's still sizzling. So he takes them out and puts them in his pocket.

''All right, I'll take care of it later.''

Basile gives him his usual little nod, "You're talking too loud," and it makes Arthur smile. It's silly because it doesn't mean anything, but it does him so much good that some things never change.

And then Eliott signs off on the rest of the explanations. Nothing too complicated anyway. 

''The director asks if you want to come with us to the first floor so I can sign for you'' signs Eliott.

Arthur doesn't have time to answer that he sees Basile talking and signing for him.

''It's okay, I can do it. I mean, if you want to, Arthur."

Arthur smiles. 

''Yeah, that works. And then besides, I can read lips better now."

Eliott looks at him like he's lying, but shrugs his shoulders and walks back with Lucas and Mika and Camille to the stairs.

Eliott opens the door and signals Lucas to walk past.

''Uh... uh... still as gallant.''

"For you, always," Eliott whispers in Lucas' ear as he walks past.

Camille and Mika greets them with Séverine and go to the ground floor to go to the kitchen. Eliott opens the door to access the first floor and indeed, it's an exact copy of the 2nd floor.

"Are you afraid?" asks Lucas stopping in the middle of the corridor.

Eliott shrugs his shoulders.

''Maybe a little. It makes me feel weird. I was hospitalized once. It wasn't my best time."

Lucas squares his eyes. He's probably wondering why he doesn't know that... and, yes, maybe Eliott should have told him.

"It was long before you," Eliott defends himself. "I was 14. Just two weeks."

Lucas gently strokes his arm and that alone has the power to soothe Eliott.

''It's okay, baby. Don't worry about it."

"And you?" Eliott asks as he walks up the hall to the dining room.

''Uh, no, never been in the hospital,'' laughs Lucas, and Eliott laughs too. It's so wonderful to be able to laugh at everything with Lucas "but yeah, it scares me a little. But you're here, so it's gonna be okay."

''If you're feeling bad, or tired, especially''.

''It's OK'' Lucas' cut ''I know. Don't worry about me."

"Ah, I guess you're here to help me" writes a tiny, frail lady who looks imposing just by her presence ''I'm Alice.''

Alice has been working here for 10 years. She explains to the boys how to help prepare the room and then sends Eliott to fetch the residents to their rooms while Lucas fills the pitchers with water at each table. 

Eliott knocks on the first room taking a deep breath and then pushes the door, revealing a little boy of about 12 years old. His hair is jet black while his eyes are emerald green. 

And he seems delighted to see him. He joins Eliott immediately in the corridor and shows him the different doors.

''In 102, it's 14-year-old Chloe. She's anorexic, but she's very sweet. In 103, it's 16-year-old Flavian. He's made two suicide attempts and is self-mutilating. Rooms 104 and 105 are empty. In 106, it's Lucy. She's 17 and bipolar. Right now, she's doing pretty well, but we have to be careful with her, she's a real manipulator. In 107, it's Thibaud, 14, he's got OCD. So you should always start with him when you come to get us to eat because by the time he turns off his light 10 times and doesn't slam his door 6 times, he'll be the last one to come to the table. Room 108 is empty. In 109, it's 17-year-old Clara, who's a hypochondriac. Don't ever touch her. And in 110, it's my best friend, Leo, 14, anorexic."

Eliott looks at him, wide-eyed. This kid has an impressive stream of words. Eliott didn't even have time to open his mouth when the detailed presentation was over.

''Wow. You could get into rap, you'd be good."

The kid looks at him in amazement before he bursts out laughing.

''Theo. Thirteen. Nice to meet you, man. Usually I'm told I shouldn't say anything about other crazy people, or I talk too much... and too fast. You seem cool."

He reaches out his hand to Eliott and squeezes it.

''Nice to meet you. Eliott."

Eliott starts walking towards Thibaud's room.

"And you don't even ask me why I'm here?" Theo wonders.

Eliott shrugs his shoulders.

''No. I'm not a doctor, you know. And I don't think illness sums up a person. Come on, let's go get everybody to eat."

Eliott heads towards 107 and smiles when he sees Theo is still with him. And indeed, by the time they're knocking on all the doors, Thibaud comes out of his own and joins them smiling. 

"It's a beautiful day'' he remarks as he heads to the table.

He sits in his seat and looks at Lucas smiling at him.

''Hello, I'm Thibaud. I just want to tell you that normally at my table, the water carafe sits there."

He moves the jug a few inches so it's right in the middle of the table.

Lucas watches him do it, then looks up at him and smiles.

''Thank you Thibaud. It's my first day. Sorry. But I promise, I'll remember it for the other times. Especially if you see anything else out of place, just let me know."

Thibaud sends him a big smile.

''You know you're not supposed to be encouraging my OCD and my need to control everything?''

Lucas shrugs his shoulders.

''I know I'm here to make you feel safe and comfortable. I'm not a doctor, so you're the one who's gonna have to tell me how I can help you."

Thibaud nods his head and keeps smiling.

''It's a really beautiful day...Hey, guys, what's up?"

Lucas looks at two boys, younger than this one, who join him at the table.

''Eliott is so nice. If Leo won't eat and lets himself die, I'll make him my new best friend. He suggested I try rap music because... you know why."

The whole table's laughing.

There's two tables. Alice asked Lucas and Eliott to sit at one table each to get to know the teenagers better and quietly watch them eat well. Then Lucas sits in front of the shy redhead.

"Hi, I'm Lucas."

''Leo'' whispers the redhead.

''Theo'' announces the boy with black hair. He elbows Leo's arm and says "Go eat, three at least. Otherwise no video games" then he turns to Lucas again "Do you know Eliott?"

"He's your boyfriend, isn't he?" Thibaud says, looking him in the eyes.

Lucas hesitates but nods his head hoping not to provoke the anger of a resident from the first day.

''I saw you through the window when you came in with the military. A word of advice, don't let him get too close to her."

Lucas looks up to watch Eliott again. A young blonde girl laughs with him, her hand on Eliott's arm as he hands out the plates. 

''Her name is Lucy'' continues Thibaud ''She is bipolar but she is also a manipulator. So you really have to watch out for her."

"Oh yeah'' confirms Theo ''you really have to watch out for her.'' 

Lucas looks at her again. Lucille, Lucas, Lucy... Is the universe laughing at him or what?

Damn it.


	32. Art room

''How long has he been deaf? I thought deaf people read lips? And then why doesn't he talk funny like Camille?"

Thomas' voice startled Basile. The meal is just over. The upstairs residents have gone to the living room or their rooms except for Margaret, who's laughing with Arthur. Margaret must be in her 40s, and she's wearing every colour in the world on her. She looks so cheerful and exudes so much pleasure of life that Basile wonders why she is here. And then he remembers that his mother came here too.

''Sorry if I'm too indiscreet.''

''No worries'' reassures Basile ''he's been deaf since January. That's why he speaks normally and doesn't read lips. But you know, Camille doesn't talk funny, it's just a big deal that he can talk thanks to his implant."

Thomas seems to realize he's touching a nerve.

''Yeah, sorry. I wasn't thinking. I've never met a deaf person before. Anyway, it's hot for Arthur. Going deaf like that, it must change everything at once. But it's cool that you're helping him through it. How long have you two been together?"

''Actually, no long. Officially, we've only been together a few weeks. We were best friends and it took a while before we made it official."

"I understand."

"You understand what?"

"You've always had a thing for guys in distress."

Basile doesn't have time to think about how his fist will meet Thomas' jaw.

"You always had a thing for guys in distress."

Arthur almost congratulates himself for practising his lip-reading. He's such a fucking asshole, that guy. At the same time, it's not like the thought never crossed Arthur's mind. He wondered several times if Basile was with him out of pity or compassion.

But now he hasn't had time to think about it as he sees Basile putting his fist in Thomas' face. He rushes towards Basile to pull him back and stands in front of him. 

But Thomas doesn't seem to feel like knocking anyway. He rubs his jaw and apologizes.

''I'm sorry, Basile. I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry. Sorry Arthur."

"Baz? "

They're startled by the voice of Eliott. Arthur's wondering how long Lucas and Eliott have been here.

"Can you show us the art room? I'd like to see what kind of equipment we have and see what we can do tomorrow."

''Yeah, let's go.''

And he slips out to his friends, happy to leave Thomas. He knows it's not like Thomas to be mean, but right now he needs to get away from him before he feels like killing him.

"Are you coming, Arthur?"

Arthur looks at him but shakes his head.

''No. Thomas just offered to show me the pool and explain how a physio session works. See you later."

Basile walks to the stairwell door with Lucas and Eliott and he turns to Arthur and signs "I love you."

And he can't stop smiling when Arthur signs back, "It's all right, don't worry. I love you too."

''She's on the ground floor,'' Basile says as he pushes the door to the stairs, ''OK, here we go. But just for the record, this is going to be difficult for me. This is the worst room in the hopital for me."

Eliott and Lucas nodded their heads and asked for no further explanation. And Basile thanks them on the inside.

"Are you drawing again?" Eliott asks as they walk up the hallway on the ground floor.

''Yeah,'' finally confesses Basile, ''but I never show it to anyone. Really nobody."

Eliott nods his head and smiles.

''I understand. It's so personal."

"Yeah."

Basile freezes when he sees the bay windows that offer a view of the room. Nothing has changed. The easels seem to taunt him.

_"Come on, Basile, please._

_Basile hates it when his mother begs him._

_''Classes are for the residents, Mom.'' Basile says._

_''No,'' she corrects him right away. ''You can come with me. Come on, I really want to do this, but I don't want to do it alone."_

_Basile finally agrees, and his mother's smile is his reward._

_''I should be able to go out in a couple of days'' finally lets go of his mother, as a confession ''if I want to try it on, now's the time.''  
_

_And Basile can't help but feel a touch of sadness. For the past two weeks, he's been coming three times a week. He comes to see Valentin at 12:00, while Thomas is away._

_Basile tells his mother he's going to lunch but he slips into Valentin's room with two caramel-sweetened coffees and they spend an hour talking, laughing or playing at the console. Valentin teaches him to speak in patois and Basile is happy to see Thomas' surprised face every time he uses it. Valentin talks to him about his life before but never about what brought him here._

_His mother pushes the door of the art therapy room and Basile spots Valentin just as quickly. While his mother is chatting with another resident, Basile slips in right behind Valentin who is facing a blank sheet of paper._

_''So, you half is not coming to paint?"  
_

_Valentin suddenly turns around and the two boys face each other, much too close together._

_''No, he hates it. He's off to observe a water physio class. He's a swimming buff."_

_Basile moves to face the available easel behind Valentin and grabs a paintbrush._

_"What are we supposed to do? "_

_Valentin turns around and shrugs his shoulders and smiles._

_''Whatever you want. It's just to relax. You paint, you draw, you swing the paint. Anything goes."_

_Basile loves the melody that comes out of the piano. He thinks. He loves to draw. He's been drawing since he could hold a pen. But he doesn't show it to anyone. It's too personal. He'll never admit that he's draw Valentin more than once. Always with a huge smile so as not to confuse him with Thomas. He won't admit that he tore at least 10 sheets because he couldn't reproduce his smile, exactly as he wanted._

_He puts down the brush and takes a charcoal pencil and starts drawing._

_''Darling, I'm finished,'' his mother says, putting her hand on his shoulder, ''but stay as long as you need. ''_

_Basile nods without raising his head to draw. He looks at it one last time with a smile on his face and then looks at Valentin._

_Valentin has painted a dark alley. The details are just unbelievable, but the black side of the drawing is almost frightening. This is where Basile remembers that Valentin is here because of a suicide attempt. It was his grandpa who told him. Valentin was found hanging in his high school bathroom after school. But Basile never talked about it, neither with Thomas nor with Valentin._

_He folded up his drawing, suddenly feeling stupid, then left the room to greet him. He hesitates, turns around and finally goes to room 108 and puts his drawing on the doorknob._

_"Is that for me?"_

_Valentin's voice startled him. Damn it.  
_

_"I don't... Yeah."_

_Valentin takes the drawing, opens his door and signals Basile to follow him before closing the door behind him._

_He bursts out laughing as he unrolls the paper and discovers Thomas' portrait, a cup of coffee in his hand spitting._

_And his laughter sounds like the sweetest sound on earth. And there, at the age of 15, Basile feels his heart racing and realizes that yes, he is falling in love with Valentin. And as amazing as it sounds, he's not even afraid of that._

"Fucking Baz, did you draw that?"

Basile's startled and Lucas realises he's cut him off from his thoughts. 

Lucas shows him the drawing he's talking about. It's a lit alley that looks like it's shining brightly. Right next to it, the same alley is hanging, but in the dark. Lucas notices that it is signed Valentin but says nothing.

''Yeah. It's me." Basile confirms.

''You're fuckin' good, man. It's amazing.'' Whistle Eliott.

Basile shrugs his shoulders and opens the cupboard to take inventory with Eliott.

Lucas takes the opportunity to play a few pieces on the piano. Nothing better than relaxing his fingers on the keyboard to calm his mind. 

The kids on the first floor are really nice. Theo to talk during the whole meal, but it was really interesting to talk with him, and Lucas has already got used to his stream of words. And Theo kept encouraging Leo to eat, which Lucas thinks is really sweet.

''So, baby, what are you thinking about?''

Lucas looks at Eliott now, who's sitting next to him, gently stroking his lower back, as if they were home.

''I'm thinking about the kids on the first floor. They're really nice."

''Yeah,'' says Eliott, ''Lucy told me she used to draw and she missed art therapy a lot."

Lucas wince when he hears her name.

''Be careful of her, Eliott.''

Shit, Lucas didn't mean for his voice to be so loud. And from the look in Eliott's eyes, that doesn't sound good.

''Don't tell me you're jealous, baby.''

Lucas shakes his head.

''Jealous? No. But watch out, Eliott. I hear she's manipulating everyone, she seemed to want to be close to you, and then... Lucille, Lucas, Lucy... it's strange, no?''

Eliott gets up from the bench and frowns.

"Do you realize that if her name was Marie or Annie, you wouldn't even talk about her?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders, not knowing what to say. Maybe Eliott's right. 

''Lucas, don't be an idiot, please. The universe has nothing to do with it. You don't have to see any signs. It's just a damn coincidence that the two people I fell in love with have the same first name prefix. I'm not gonna fall in love with Lucy, Lucinda, Lucien or Luc ... so leave that girl alone. She already has a hard enough life as it is. And if I can help her because I understand her, I will.''

''What? Can you hear me when I tell that you have to be careful of her?"

''Because what, Lucas? Because she's 17? Because she's beautiful? Because she's bipolar?"

''You know I don't care about bipolarity, Eliott. I just don't feel her." Lucas is practically choking on her saliva. "Wait, you think she's beautiful?"

Eliott glances at Lucas, angrily.

''Oh, God, Lucas, don't play with my words. She is beautiful. It's a fact. No, I'm not particularly attracted to her. But I'm certainly not gonna put her aside just because you're making a movie in your head. She's bipolar, Lucas. She's lost and I know how that feels. So I'm gonna help her, just like every other kid. That's why we're here. You shouldn't have been here in the first place so don't tell me what I can and can't do."

Lucas looks at Eliott as he leaves the room, then turns to Basile and is still in front of the room with his eyes wide open.

"What the fuck happened here?"


	33. Revelations

Eliott finds himself on the first floor without having had time to really think. He shouldn't have gotten so worked up over Lucas. But whether Lucas told him what he could or couldn't do, it pissed him off. That he told him to be careful when he didn't exchange two words with Lucy pissed him off even more. And that is so not like Lucas to act like that. It's been a long time since the fear of Lucas' abandonment had come back to disrupt their lives, and frankly, Eliott didn't want it to come back now. 

He greets Theo and Leo as they walk up the corridor, a game console in hand towards Theo's room and is about to turn around to offer to play with them when he hears a sniff. Then sobs. 

The door of room 106 is open and Eliott sees Lucy crying, sitting on her desk, her head in her hands. Eliott hesitates but the sobs of the young girl remind him so much of his own. He sees himself hospitalized, alone and lost. He remembers that all the other young people were afraid of him. While one of the residents thought he was a vampire... really a vampire! Eliott still remembers the bite he gave him. Even now, Eliott doesn't understand why the others were afraid of him. Okay, he had a manic episode with his first hallucinations, but still...

Carried by his memories, he knocked gently on the door without coming in. Lucy jumps up and wipes her eyes.

''Oh, shit. Eliott? What do you want?"

''Are you all right?"

Lucy looks at him and then shakes her head.

''Not really. It's a tough day. Everything feels too much. I just feel like I want to let it all go sometimes."

Eliott nods his head and smiles softly.

"I get it."

"No," the blonde gets mad and gets up, "you don't understand. I'm tired of everybody thinking they understand me."

''I know what it feels like when everything gets too much,'' says Eliott softly. ''I know what it feels like to be so tired that just breathing takes superhuman strength. So, no, I don't understand you, but I do understand this. Because I've got this, too."

"Are you bipolar?" Lucy asks as she gets closer.

Eliott nods his head.

''Yeah. But now I'm doing pretty good. You'll see, you'll get better."

Lucy again wipes the last tears from her eyes and jumps at Eliott's neck to hug him.

''Thank you very much. It's getting better already."

And Eliott smiles, thinking if he'd had a little sister, he probably would've felt the way he does about Lucy now. 

She breaks away from him and offers to show him what she is drawing. Eliott still remembers Theo's and then Lucas' warning and even if he doesn't believe it at all, he doesn't want to get into trouble.

''It's going to be teatime snack, I have to meet Lucas and Annie to prepare the tables. You wanna come?"

Lucy loses her smile but holds on to his arm to guide him into the dining room. And her smile returns as she meets Lucas' wounded gaze. 

"Hey Lucas, you want to play with us afterwards?"

Lucas looks at Theo who sits in front of him.

''Can you play, at least? At video games."

Lucas nods his head and smiles. Normally, he would have gone to roll a joint to forget his worries. But here, spending some time playing with two teenagers seems like a better idea. 

Theo turns his head to follow Lucas' gaze. Lucy is sitting next to Eliott and has just dropped the jug of water on him. He is totally soaked and his white shirt is so sticky that it makes him look totally naked.

''Holy shit, man, your boyfriend's in deep shit. Lucy's got him in her clutches right now."

Lucas looks at Theo and Leo again. Apparently Thibaud never comes to the teatime snack.

''She did the same thing two weeks ago to a trainee nurse. She told everyone he raped her. When, frankly, I don't believe it for a second."

Lucas is looking at her again.

''You have to tell him to be careful.''

''I told him,'' whispers Lucas, ''but he doesn't believe it. Because he thinks you hate her because she's bipolar. And because he is too, he thinks it makes them similar and he can help her get better."

''Oh, man... this sucks, man. Fuck it, I liked him, Eliott.'' Theo says, looking serious ''I thought he was smarter than that. And who cares about his disease? She's just a bitch. She thinks she's so much better than us. She makes fun of us stopping and telling everyone she saw us kissing. When clearly, Leo, I love you, but I don't, no way!''

''So, what do we do now?'' asks Leo.

Lucas looks at them and then remembers they're two 13-year-old boys in a psychiatric hospital.

''You're not doing anything. I'm taking care of this. Okay, you wanna play?"

The two boys look at each other, exchange a look known only to them and shake their heads.

''Finally, no. We're gonna hang out in my room." Leo says as he gets up ''and without kisses, let's be clear.''

Lucas watches them leave. At the next table, Lucy gives him a black look. Eliott has gone up to their floor to change their shirt.   
Lucas gets up from the table and gets the tray. He leans over Eliott's table to do the same thing when Lucy trips him with her foot, causing the two trays to fall onto the table with a crashing sound.

''Oops. Sorry."

Lucy doesn't seem sorry at all. Lucas takes a deep breath before taking the trays back.

''It's all right, don't worry about it.''

Lucy smiles at him with a blunt smile then gets up and stops when she's right on top of Lucas.

''I'm warning you, Lucas. I want him. And I will get him. So either get out of my way or it's gonna bleed."

Lucas stares for two seconds and then turns around, but Lucy's already gone. 

Lucas quickly clears the trays and gets up to the third floor as fast as he can. He must absolutely talk about this with Eliott. 

He is about to go back to their room when he hears Mika's voice.

"You know, it must be hard for him being in a psych ward."

''I know,'' says Eliott, ''but it hurts so much that he doesn't trust me. Even though she's a manipulative bitch, which I doubt very much, I'm not going to give in to his advances. I love him, and it kills me that he thinks I could fall for it. Or worse, that I could imagine my life without him. Or that he thinks I can ruin it for some meaningless girl."

Lucas walks across the room in two strides and slips into Eliott's arms.

''I'm sorry, baby. I trust you. I really do."

So, yeah, she's a manipulative bitch, but Lucas is gonna keep that to himself. He knows if he pushes Eliott any harder, he could lose him. So he's gonna have to do something on his own to get Eliott out of that girl's clutches.

''Hey, look who wants to say hi.''

Lucas gets up to watch Camille walk into the room, his phone showing Noée and Imane waving at them.

''Lucas and Eliott hugging, nothing changes,'' remarks Imane.

Lucas nods his head, kisses Eliott's cheek and then takes the phone that Camille hands him.

"So, what's up, girls?"

"We miss you," signs Noée, "it's so quiet without you all! But we're planning a surprise for tomorrow!"

"And where is Louis? Did you gag him in the basement?" laughs Eliott.

"No, he's been on the phone with Basile for 10 minutes."

Imane turns the phone around to show Louis, sitting at the kitchen table, phone in hand. He looks much more serious than usual. When he realises he's being filmed, he smile and shouts "Hi guys" and then frowns as he returns to his conversation.

''Well, just calm down and breathe.''

Basile takes a deep breath and count to five.

''Grandpa, this was a really bad idea. I'm totally confused. I don't even know where I'm supposed to start. I feel like every time I do something, it backfired."

''You're surrounded by people who love you, boubou, why are you asking me this? Since when do you care about your old man's advice?"

Basile looks up to the sky. He's been outside the building for 15 minutes and calling his grandfather for advice is the only sensible thing he could think of.

''Cause first of all, I care about your advice. And you're not that old, Grandpa. Besides, you're the only one around here who really knows the whole Valentin thing."

Faced with silence, Basile looks to see if the call hasn't been disconnected, but it hasn't.

"Grandpa?"

"You know you hadn't said his name since?" says Louis softly. And just by the sound of his voice, Basile knows that his grandfather is confused.

''I know, Grandpa. That's why I need help. Tell me what I have to do. You think I should tell Arthur everything? Do you think it's true? I just like lost causes?"

There's a growl on the phone.

''Basile, I'm sorry. I'm sure your parents are gonna hate me, but I think you should've known this all along. You don't know the truth about everything that's happened. Valentin isn't dead."

Basile sits on the little wall that borders the garden. It's a beautiful day, but suddenly he's really cold. He closes his eyes to keep the tears from flowing. He doesn't have to open them to find out whose arm is wrapped around his shoulders. And he lays his head on the shoulder next to him while listening to his grandfather tell him what he couldn't have imagined in his worst nightmares or his sweetest dreams.

Frankly, he doesn't know.


	34. Together

Before the phone falls to the ground, Arthur grabs it. Basile looks completely absent. He's downright pale.

''Baz? Please say something."

''I've been lied to... all this fucking time.'' Basile whispers.

Arthur tightens his arm around Basile's shoulders a bit. He just doesn't know what else to do.

''You can talk to me if you want. I'm still your best friend, you know.''

Basile looks at him, wide-eyed and sighs.

''Okay. First of all, you know you're so much more than that. And I want you to know that it doesn't change the way I feel about you in any way. But this whole situation is beyond me and I have to understand."

Arthur puts my free hand on Basile's to calm him down and nods.

''In July 2017, my mother was hospitalised here. It was Thomas who brought me here to see her while he came to see his brother who had attempted suicide. It was here that I met Valentin. And then we got closer. My mother was able to go out but we stayed at grandpa's all summer and I kept coming to see Valentin when his brother was at work. We ended up going out and we kept going until August 2018. Every month I would come here to see him. In August, he was allowed to go home. But he didn't want to go out. He said he was afraid to go home. Only he had no choice, he had no reason to stay here. So on August 12, he went out. On the 13th, he took his moped. He was found the next day in a ravine. My parents told me it wasn't an accident and we went back to Paris the next day. They didn't even want me to go to the funeral. And I was so angry."

Arthur feels Basile stretching. And he understands.

"It's normal to be angry. You should have said goodbye to him properly."

Basile gets up in one go, waving his arms all over the place.

''You don't understand. I don't get it. Nothing is"

Arthur could see with the naked eye the flash of lucidity passing through Basile. He sees in the face of the one he loves the moment he understands everything. And he watches him run away to the hospital without moving. Basile doesn't need to signal to him to know that at that moment his place is not with him.

  
Basile doesn't stop running until he finds Thomas, in front of the changing rooms at the swimming pool. He approaches him and Thomas must feel he is being watched because he turns around immediately.

''How could you?'' Basile grunts. His voice doesn't even sound the same as usual. It's much lower. Much more authoritative. Almost bestial.

Thomas leans against the locker room, closes his eyes and then slowly opens them again.

"I don't"

Basile puts his hand over his mouth to shut him up. He looks him in the eyes and slides his hand under his shirt to make him come up. Thomas doesn't even move. 

_"What's that scar?" Basile asks softly, stroking the side of Valentin's chest._

_A thin scar runs down Valentin's right flank, right on his ribs. Basile wonders why he didn't notice it before. They have become very, very close for 3 weeks now and although they should be more careful since they are in hospital, they spend almost every afternoon half-naked in Valentin's bed._

_''It's a sword stroke.'' said Valentin, stroking Basile's face. ''When we were six, Thomas had found our great-grandfather's war sword and wanted to play war.''_

_''And he won'' concluded Basile, kissing Valentin's chest._

_''Yeah. He won a hell of a punishment. And I won three stitches."_

  
And even if he was now certain, Basile could not hold back under scream when he discovered a tattooed sword going up the right flank. Basile puts his finger on it and moves up along the hidden scar underneath.

''I'm sorry.''

Basile closes his eyes. He should have understood. He should have seen it. He should have known at first sight. He saw him put sugar in his coffee. He held his hand. He saw him smile. He should have known.

He took a step back, like all of a sudden the touch burned him.

''I can explain.''

Basile steps back again and bumps into the lockers behind him.

''I can explain, Baz. Just let me''.

"Now you want to talk?" Basile scolds "Why didn't you tell me? Why did you leave me with my grief? Why didn't you ever try to contact me? Why did everyone laugh at me? Why couldn't you just break up like a normal, Valentin?"

Basile turns around, ready to leave, but Valentin's got him by the wrist.

''No, Basile. Don't call me that. He's dead. Please don't tell anyone. No one, please. It's a matter of survival. I didn't have a choice. Just let me explain."

Basile shakes his head and releases his arm so he can leave. It's too much. As he walks through the locker room door, he almost misses the words whispered by the boy behind him.

"Cinderella"

But he doesn't.

He hits Lucas head-on right in the middle of the hall. And since they both have no reflexes, they end up on their asses, facing each other.

''What's up, guys?''

Basile turns around to see Mika and Camille walking towards them.

''We're gonna make dinner. You wanna help us?"

The two boys exchange glances and then nod their heads. A little distraction will do them good. Mika opens the door to a large kitchen for them. There are at least four hobs and all the worktops are gleaming.

''Emilie, the cook has been working 7 days a week for 10 days because the second cook is ill. So now that we're here, she's reducing her hours. She'll be here from 10 to 3 and we'll manage the evening meal by ourselves."

Lucas looks around, looking for a real cook, sure that Mika is laughing.

''He's not laughing.'' says Camille as he takes out his phone ''but don't worry, Emilie left us all the instructions. And...''

Camille takes out his phone and puts it on a shelf in front of them so that it's in front of his face. Lucas looks at Basile to see if he understands better but he soon realizes he doesn't. They don't have time to ask a question and Imane's voice echoes on the phone.

''Hi guys! We're ready! That's a great idea. Thanks for thinking of us."

Lucas is looking at Camille nodding his head.

''Seeing as we have the kitchen all to ourselves, we sent the ingredient list and recipes to the girls and we'll cook at the same time. And since Imane is the best cook in the group, she'll help us make the recipes.''

''And we're going to enjoy ourselves'' announces Louis, passing behind the girls. ''In the meantime, I'm toasting with you young people in mind! Come on, toast with me, I miss it."

And Louis raises his glass in front of the screen.

"There's nothing to toast us" complains Basile.

"Oh, yes, we do", Mika announces and pulls out a bottle of rum. "OK, it's supposed to be for cakes and crepes, but we can just use it as a base for a toast with our favourite grandpa, can't we?"

''Totally!'' confirms Grandpa.

Camille takes out 4 glasses and Mika fills them to a third.

"Cheers, Grandpa," said Basile, raising his glass, "and thank you."

"Seyez quoeurus" Lucas' says as he pushes Basile to appear on the screen.

''Oh, you're getting better at the dialect, little! To your health too. Well, I'll let you cook, otherwise I won't have anything to eat tonight."

And Louis disappears from the screen, leaving the place to Noée and Imane, their hands already full of flour.

''So you make a well with the flour and break the eggs in the middle.'' Imane explains.

Mika plunges his hands into the bowl of flour and digs and then takes his shit-eating smile and grabs Camille's face before kissing his and backing away laughing.

''Oh shit, you're all pale, baby. Are you all right?"

Camille takes the same smile as Mika and dips his hand in the flour packet before sprinkling a handful of flour in his hair.

''You're getting old, my love, your hair is all white.''

''Enough!'' Imane grumbles ''You haven't even started. But how can anyone in their right mind think you'll be able to prepare dinner for 30 people?''

Lucas grabs the chart on the counter.

''Seven kids on the first floor, eight adults on the second, two night nurses and the 11 volunteers, that's 28 people.''

Lucas crosses Imane's eyes. Even through a screen, Imane has a gift for silencing any comment. So Lucas gently puts the sheet back on the worktop without saying anything.

''So, Basile, you take Camille's place and you break the eggs. Lucas and Camille, you peel the carrots and cut the leeks for the soup."

"Yes, chef, good chef." Lucas laughs as he grabs a knife.

''At work'' signs Noée before grabbing her knife and a carrot.

And Lucas smiles. Damn, it's good to have some semblance of normalcy back.

  
The soup was delicious, and so were the Emmental waffles that came with it. The residents were thrilled. 

On the first floor, Lucas suggested bringing the two tables together to make one. Melanie, the night nurse immediately agreed, as did Theo and Leo. But that's not surprising, since it was their idea.

And seeing the smile wipe off Lucy's face was a great reward for Lucas. 

He was able to eat sitting next to Eliott, while Theo rushed over to the other side of Eliott to talk with him about his future vocation as a rapper.   
Lucy sulked during the whole meal and if Lucas felt a little bit sorry for herself, he just had to remember her words. If she wants to play, Lucas has good weapons in hand to win. And when you threaten his relationship with Elliot, he's anything but nice.

Mika came over to have dinner with them and he managed to make Clara laugh while she is hyper-stressed by the epidemic. 

When dinner is over and the tables are cleared, Melanie thanks the boys and tells them that they are free. Suzanne, Christelle, Fannie and Florence will do the dishes.

Eliott slips his hand into Lucas' hand and a door slams in the first floor hallway. Lucas doesn't even have to turn around to know it's Lucy's room. Then he and Eliott go to the third floor with a huge smile on his face.

''Come quickly guys, come see'' shouts Arthur who is sitting in the 3rd floor living room, right next to Basile.

''Don't shout Arthur. You'll scare him off."

Lucas immediately recognises his best friend's voice and jumps to the sofa to slip beside Arthur and discover Yann on the screen. Yann and a tiny bald baby asleep in his arms.

"Oh Yann" moans Lucas tenderly.

"Oh Yann" complains Eliott as he stands behind Lucas. "Don't try to hit on Lucas with a baby... I can't compete."

Lucas hits Eliott's arm, laughing.

''This is Emilien.'' Yann says softly. ''He's one month old. He's waiting to be adopted. But because of the virus, adoptions were postponed so he's waiting in the nursery.''

''Hide him in your bag and I'll adopt him'' says Lucas.

''Oh yeah totally'' says Eliott.

The two boys look at each other and smile.

''I hope you guys are laughing,'' said Yann, frowning ''Have you gone crazy or what?''

He opens his eyes and everyone can see that he's panicking because of what he just said.

"It's okay, Yann, relax." Eliott laughs. "We're laughing. Even if someday I hope it does happen."

"Really?" asks Lucas in amazement. They never talked about having kids. At the same time they are two boys, 18 and 20 years old, no wonder.

Eliott looks at Lucas as if he was the cutest thing he saw on Earth.

''Of course he is. You would be such a great daddy, baby. And look, Uncle Yann is ready for a baby already."

''Wait till you see Auntie Emma'' says Yann as he turns the phone to show Emma giving a bottle to an equally tiny baby. 

''Hello, friends. I think I finally figured out what I wanted to do later." Emma says, smiling.

''Make babies and give them to your best gays friends?'' Arthur asks, laughing.

"No," Emma laughs and corrects him, "working here. In the nursery. Look at these babies. They're in nursery, waiting to be adopted. And in the meantime, we give them love. I spent the day with little Aline in a baby carrier so she could have human contact. And I love it!"

All the boys are smiling at Emma's enthusiasm.

''And that way, guys, when you want to adopt, I'll help you pick out the cutest one.''

"That's not how it works," laughs Arthur.

"What?" says Emma, "For my best friends, that's the way it's going to be."

"And how are Alexia and Daphne?" Lucas asks.

"Great. They're with children from 2 to 6 years old, so they sleep well at night. But they're okay."

"We miss you," said Basile suddenly by taking the phone in his hand, "we really miss you."

"We miss you, too, boubou," Emma said, winking at him.

''Okay, I don't miss you anymore'' said Basile before giving the phone back to Arthur and getting up to take a shower. 

Even the hot water can't get him to stop thinking. One word keeps coming back into his mind. 

_Cinderella_

That name doesn't leave him for the rest of the night. And when before going to bed he meets the first boy who made his heart beat, he knows he's made up his mind. 

And he's hoping it's the right choice.


	35. Truth

23h58. 

For once, Basile's glad Arthur can't hear his alarm clock ring. And the thought of it immediately makes him feel even more guilty. He gently releases himself from Arthur's arms, with a ball in his stomach.   
They put their two single beds together to make a double bed and fell asleep without talking but in each other's arms. And Arthur's physical presence was enough to calm him down a little. But not to convince him to give up on finding out the truth. 

So at midnight, he discreetly slips out of their room and quietly descends the stairs. He crosses the corridor on the first floor to room 108, being careful not to be spotted by the night nurse. And when he opens the door, he knows that he had heard correctly.

Valentin is sitting on the bed, only lit by the moon.

''I thought you weren't coming.'' He says, looking Basile in the eyes.

''I didn't know if I'd come'' confirmed Basile as he closed the door ''and I still don't know if I did the right thing.''

Valentin nods his head and taps the bed next to him. Basile hesitates but climbs up on the bed and sits down, bending his legs under him.

''I feel like I'm in a nightmare'' says Basile ''or in a beautiful dream... and frankly, I can't decide if it's one or the other.''

The boy dyed blond takes a deep breath and takes Basile's hand in his.

''I'm really sorry. I want you to know that nothing has been easy for me and I've tried really hard not to hurt you."

''You missed out.'' Let go of Basile.

''Please, just let me do the talking. Otherwise I'll never be able to tell you everything."

Basile nods his head and his eyes fall on their joined hands but he doesn't move his hand and regains eye contact with Valentin.

''Okay. I'm gonna have to start at the beginning. I never meant to kill myself. It was a settling of scores. Remember the murder of that young Aloic ?"

Basile nods his head silently. Of course he remembers. It was very noisy in the village. A 15-year-old boy killed by two stab wounds in the street.

"Well, I witnessed it. I was coming out of my father's shop and I saw them driving away. So I told the police. They found them. Two 20-year-olds. It was a drug thing. Except the kids had fake alibis and were actually running a huge drug ring. And even though my testimony was supposed to be anonymous, they knew it was me. One night after school, they grabbed me in the high school bathroom. They said that I'd lost a lot of customers and that I had to pay and...you know the rest."

Basile puts his hand free over his mouth.

''What? What the fuck is that all about? Why didn't you tell the police about this? Why didn't you tell me? We were so close, why did you let me think you tried to kill yourself?"

''Because they came to see me. Here. They threatened to kill Thomas. And my parents. And they came back at the beginning of August threatening you. I don't even know how they found out about you. I was ready to tell you, but I was afraid you'd tell the police or even my brother or my parents. And I was so scared. And I was only 16. I was convinced that no one could stop them."

''I probably would have done it.'' Basile says, ''I probably would have thought it was the right thing to do. ''

"I know." Valentin confirms, intertwining their fingers, "As long as I was here, I was safe. That's why I told the doctor I still wanted to die. That way, I could stay here for a year. I wanted to stay until I came of age and then I wanted to get away. Every time I was allowed to go home for a weekend, I would see one lurking near my house. But in August, they made me go home. I just didn't want to, you know. But I didn't have a choice. And the day after I got home, Thomas wanted to go to a friend's house but his moped had a flat tire. So he took mine. I was locked in my room. I didn't want to come out anymore, I was too scared. And then he didn't come home. I was sure something had happened to him, so I told my parents everything. The police found him the next day. They said he drank too much, but I know he didn't. Thomas never drank. Except the police thought it was me who had died. And my parents didn't say anything. They'd already lost one son, they didn't want to lose the second. So they told me to take my brother's identity. I refused, but my parents left me no choice. They said it was the only way to end this. So I became Thomas."

Valentin takes a deep breath.

''I came to your grandfather's house after the funeral. But your parents had already taken you back to Paris. I said to him. I told him everything. He called your parents, but they wouldn't tell you. I sent you a letter, but I knew they wouldn't give it to you. I sent you several messages, but you changed your numberphone. I even tried to call your house but it was always your father who answered so I hung up. Until he told me to stop trying to reach you or he would call the police and tell them everything. Pretty soon, it got too hard being Thomas here. I couldn't live his life. So I left. I came to Paris. I came to see you."

''What? When?"

''It was at the end of October. I saw you coming out of school. You were laughing with Arthur and Lucas and some other guy. You looked happy. So I left."

''I wasn't fucking happy,'' Basile moans, ''I was in pain for months. I spent months taking pills so I could sleep, wondering why you chose to kill yourself instead of staying with me? I was so in love with you and I couldn't understand why that love couldn't make you want to stay alive."

Basile wipes his eyes and realizes that Valentin does the same thing. Their eyes meet, just for a second and Basile doesn't have time to realize what he's doing that his lips are already on the lips of the boy sitting across from him. And it tastes the same as he remembers.

And even if Valentin kisses him back for a few seconds. They both back off at the same time.

''I'm sorry, I shouldn't have...''

They look at each other and start laughing. They spoke at exactly the same time with the same words.

''Why didn't you just come and talk to me?'' asks Basile softly ''Why didn't you come and tell me that? I could have been there for you."

"Because I hated myself," says Valentin between sobs, "because I killed my brother. I couldn't fucking protect him. It's my fault my brother's dead."

Basile holds him in his arms while he puts his head on his shoulder.

''No. It's them. It's just them. They're the motherfuckers that killed your brother. And you know that if he had a choice between you and him, he would have chosen to give his life for you. He just wants you to be happy. He wouldn't want you to stay here just out of guilt. You've always wanted to get out of here. He would have wanted you to live a full life for both of you."

Valentin steps back and nods his head.

''I don't live here. I live in Berlin. I'd only been back for ten days, but the confinement kept me out. And since I don't have German citizenship, they don't have to repatriate me. So I stayed with my parents. But since I was immune, I wanted to come here to help. I lived here for over a year, I couldn't stay on my couch without helping out."

Basile nods his head and then smiles.

''Germany? Really?"

Valentine smiles at his, shrugging his shoulders.

''Yeah. I spent five months in Belgium. Then I dropped everything and went walking for 3 months on the way to Santiago de Compostela. I hoped to find answers to my questions. And then I met Willem. He lived in Berlin. I went home with him. And we've lived together ever since. They call me Anton over there."

Basile looks at him with a grimace.

''Anton?''

''Yeah. Antoine was Thomas' second name. When I arrived in Belgium, I was called that. And since in Germany it's the equivalent of Anton, I feel a little less like I stole my brother's identity."

Basile looks at him and then thinks about everything he's just learned.

''Holy shit.''

"Yeah," confirms the boy, "This is my fucking life. And I'm really sorry you had to go through all this, Baz. I really loved you very much."

"I know," says Basile, kissing the top of his hand, still intertwined in his, "me too."

"I know." Valentin whispered, kissing the top of Basile's hand before opening his fingers to let him go. 

He retrieves his now empty hand and noiselessly he raises the sleeve of his shirt, revealing the lines of the tattoo he has inside his arm to Basile.

_A loved one never leaves us. He lives deep in our hearts and to see his again, we just have to close our eyes. T - B - 2018_

Basile gets up from bed, wipes his eyes, touches the tattooed _B_ and then bends over one last time to put his lips on those of his first love.

"Thank you, Valentin."

And Basile smiles, knowing it's the last time he'll ever call her that. He has finally been able to close this chapter in his life.

He leaves the room with a strange feeling inside him. Something he hadn't felt in a long time. 

He's at peace with himself. 

And then he remembers he needs to talk to Arthur.

And tell him that he kissed Thomas, which is Valentin. Twice. 

And the feeling of peace disappears immediately.

And the panic takes over.


	36. Possessive

Lucas rests his fingers on the keyboard and smiles. He really missed playing. He wonders how he's going to do his LAC test since he chose the music option, but at least he'll have been able to practice during the confinement. And it's really nice to play while Eliott is leading the art class. 

He turns around on the bench. 

Eliott stands next to Margaret. And he's got a line of blue paint running down his cheek. Thibaud is talking to Basile about his drawing. Flavien is there too, and so is Lucy. Of course she is. There are four other adults who have come and are discussing their drawings. One of them has drawn a red square in the middle of the white sheet and seems very proud of it. He heard Eliott talking about it for at least 5 minutes. Decidedly, Lucas will never understand anything about art...

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and turns his attention to Eliott. 

Lucy caught his attention, showing him his drawing. And even if from his place, Lucas doesn't see what she has done, he sees that Eliott finds it good. Because he's smiling like he sees something he likes. And promise, Lucas tries not to be jealous too much. If she's talented, so much the better for she. 

But Lucy puts her thumb in her mouth and raises her hand. Lucas understands that she wants to wipe the paint off of Eliott's cheek. And Lucas feels a new feeling coming up inside him. Something he only started to feel when someone gets too close to Eliott: he becomes possessive. He needs to cut it off. 

And without thinking, he starts coughing. And Eliott straightens up, without realizing that Lucy's hand is missing touching his face. When he looks at Lucas with his worried look, Lucas doesn't think and coughs again. And again. Damn it, he pretends, but he can't stop. And Eliott finds himself towards him in a flash, rubbing his back and carrying him a glass of water.

''Breathe, babe. Are you all right?"

Lucas takes a sip and starts to breathe again, no problem.

''It's okay, it's all right, it's gone. I'm sorry. Don't worry, it's okay. I had to assume my abilities after all."

Eliott stands up, visibly relieved, and Lucas curses himself for acting like a child. But he meets Lucy's angry look and can't stop smiling. He raises his hand to wipe the paint stain under Eliott's cheek with his thumb. 

Eliott plants a little kiss on his lips, asking his to rest and then goes back to put away the material. 

And without Lucas realizing it, he has just started a very dangerous game. 

By the time he realizes it at lunch, it's already too late. 

At the end of the meal, Lucy gave him a defiant look before turning to Eliott.

''Eliott? I'd love to finish the drawing I started this morning. Do you think you could go and get it for me and bring it back to me, please?"

"Yes, of course," said Eliott before resuming his discussion with Theo.

''Lucas? I hope you're feeling better. I heard you were coughing a lot while Eliott went to get the lunch cart. You're not sick, are you?"

Lucas doesn't have time to open his mouth for Eliott to turn around.

''Oh, shit, Lucas. Okay, you go upstairs and get some rest."

''What? No. It's okay."

And Eliott frowns and comes over to him and whispers. But his voice is so clear.

''No way. You get some rest, or I'll get the doctor in here."

''It's weird, I didn't hear Lucas cough, at all'' exclaims Theo standing up, putting his hands on the table as a sign of authority. 

Lucy gets up and takes the same position. And unfortunately for Theo, she is taller than him.

''Maybe it's because you were too busy kissing your Leo. But it's only natural to want affection in your case."

Theo grabs his glass and throws it at Lucy. Not just the water. The whole glass. And even though the glass doesn't break, the shock to Lucy's arch can be heard and she starts bleeding right away.

''Holy shit.'' Eliott jumps over the table to squeeze a towel over her before taking her to the nurse's office.

''I am... I wanted to.''

Theo looks at Lucas then runs to his room. Lucas follows him closely and Theo starts to cry before he even gets to his room. And as he doesn't close the door of his room, Lucas concludes that he can come in.

''I'm really sorry.'' Theo finally says, sitting on his bed with his knees up under his chin. 

Lucas hears him gasp. He puts his hand on his knees and guides him back to calm breathing. He knows all about anxiety attacks.

''I'm really sorry.'' Repeats Theo ''I wanted to help you. And I threw him in his arms."

And then Lucas realizes he should never have let Theo get involved in his problem. Not that he insisted on it. But he didn't really stop him either. He may have had to talk to one of the nurses about it, but at the same time, Lucy's not a real threat. At least not really. And Lucas doesn't want to give the nurses any more cause for concern.

''You didn't do anything, Theo. Don't worry about Eliott. He'll be able to defend himself without any problem. It's all right."

''What she said'' ends up saying Theo ''it's so mean. I'm here for Stockholm syndrome. You know, when the victim loves her attacker in spite of everything he does to her. Well, that's my story. But I'm not looking for comfort. And I'm not kissing Leo.''

''Nobody said that, Theo.'' Says Lucas softly. ''Well, she did. But because she knows it would hurt you. She knew exactly what would hurt you. And I'm sorry you're dealing with people like that because you're a great kid and you've been through too much in your life already."

''What hurts!'' exclaims Theo.

Theo wipes his tears and jumps out of bed, looking down on him.

''Oh, my God, I've got a great idea how to get rid of Lucy.''

''What? No! No more of this."

But Theo's not listening and he's already on his way to Leo's room. 

And this time, when Lucas walks in front of the room, the door is locked.

"Guys, it's Lucas.''

Theo opens the door with a smile.

''Yes?''

''Forget it, guys. Really.''

"Okay.''

Lucas frowns.

''I know you don't mean that.''

''Yes, I do. Leo's got the console, we're just gonna play. Mind our own business. We got it.''

And he closes the door. And Lucas knows he's up to something. But he doesn't have time to think about it. He sees Eliott going into Lucy's room, and the door slams shut.

But fortunately, it reopens just 2 seconds later and Lucas hears Eliott's voice preaching to the girl.

''I said the door open, Lucy. I was just bringing you your drawing. Feel free to finish it, and show it to me at snack teatime.''

Lucas can't hear what Lucy's saying, but he can hear very well that Eliott disagrees.

''Lucy, you can't talk about your bipolarity when you're upset. You're gonna have to live with that. You can't use excuses like that. You don't have to inspire pity. You're better than that.''

Lucas takes his phone out of his pocket and texts Eliott. And he smiles because less than two seconds later, he hears Eliott say he has to leave. And Eliott joins him in the hallway smiling.

''So?'' he whispers in Lucas' ear ''so you were looking for me to quote _''a wonderful naked activity.''_

''Oh yeah'' confirms Lucas by winking at him before pushing the door of the stairs to their room.

They have just enough time to greet Arthur and Basile as the two boys disappear into their room hand in hand.

  
''Are you sure you're all right, Baz? You're acting really weird today."

''Yeah, I know.''

Arthur puts his head down and puts his hands together.

"If you want to break up,"

"What, no?" Basile stops him, "Why, do you want to?"

Arthur shakes his head before looking up to find Basile's eyes.

"No. But I don't disappear in the middle of the night. I just don't want there to be any secrets between us, Baz. I'm sick of secrets."

Basile takes a deep breath and tells him everything. Everything up to the tattoo and the second kiss. And Arthur says nothing. It makes you wonder if he's still breathing, he's so stoic.

Basile stops talking and looks at him worried. 

"Do you still love him?" he ends up asking Arthur "Please tell me the truth."

Basile shrugs his shoulders.

''Yeah. I think he does. Just like Daphne. Like you like Alexia or Noée, I guess. Like the memory of something beautiful that no longer exists."

Arthur nods his head and Basile doesn't miss his little smile.

"Then why did you kiss him?

Basile shrugs his shoulders again.

''Because I thought he was dead. I'd been living with that for over a year. I needed to kiss him. But as soon as I did, I knew it wasn't what I wanted. The second one was more like a goodbye kiss."

Arthur nodded his head and put his arm around Basile's shoulders.

"Are you all right?"

Basile puts one arm around Arthur's waist so he can hold on to him.

''Yeah. I hate my parents and I'm gonna have to have a long talk with them. But it gives me a chance to move on from all this."

''What about us? Are we okay?"

Basile looks up to look at Arthur.

"I love you, you love me. We're doing pretty good, aren't we?"

"Really good."

And when Arthur's lips rest on his, the feeling of peace comes back inside Basile.

And this time, he hopes it will last.

And when Arthur's hands gently caress his back and he moves closer to kiss him on the neck, whispering "I love you" between kisses, he knows it will last.


	37. Final stroke

When Eliott and Lucas arrive on the first floor, 15 minutes before the snack teatime, Lucas is surprised to see Flavien, Theo, Léo and even Thibaud already around the table discussing with Alice. She welcomes them with a huge smile. 

''Here you are, young people, I forgot to give it to you earlier. I have a surprise for you. I live 5 km from Louis' house. He called me and asked if I could bring you this from your friends.''

The nurse gets up and grabs a box and hands it to Eliott. 

''Thank you very much, Alice. That's really sweet."

She nods and smiles and Lucas knows she's gonna ask them for a favour. He can see it on her face.

''Now, the kids want to play a game during the teatime to get to know you both better. You have the right to refuse, of course."

Lucas looks directly at Theo but he seems to avoid her gaze altogether.

''No, that's a great idea. Then what's the game?"

And of course, it's Leo who responds enthusiastically.

''You're each asked a question, and you both answer. So we can learn a little bit about you."

''And, of course, you have the right not to answer. And I said yes, but no question too intrusive." Alice adds.

Eliott nods with a smile. And Lucas loves him even more. If some people might think that the young people are intrusive, Lucas knows that Eliott feels accepted in the group and he can see that it really makes him happy. 

''Okay. I'll go get the girls and you guys can get started. If it's all right with you boys, I'll just put the papers in the office over there. That way I'm close by. Anyway, nothing can happen."

Lucas is nodding his head even though he's not entirely sure of that. The cakes have barely been handed out before Leo speaks.

''Okay. Then Clara, you can go first."

Clara smiles, and Lucas realises it's the first time she's ever seen her smile. 

''What is the worst disease you've ever had?''

Lucas stops laughing. Of course Clara was going to talk about diseases.

''I got the coronavirus a few weeks ago, and I almost died. I was in a coma for a few days. It's really an experience that I wouldn't wish on anybody, but, you see, I'm fine now."

Clara looks at Lucas like he's a ghost and then smiles at him. 

''Me,'' Eliott says, ''I had varicella when I was 17. And really, it was awful. Pimples all over the place, it itched all the time, and"

"Don't you think being bipolar is worse?" cuts Lucy.

Lucas gives her a blank stare. He hates it when someone reduces Eliott to his disease.

"No," Eliott says softly, smiling. "I would have said that a few years ago. But Lucas taught me bipolarity was part of me. And this is true, it's just me. Just plain and simple. So without it, okay, life would be easier for me and my loved ones, but at the same time I wouldn't be the same. So no, bipolarity isn't the worst disease I've ever had because it's just part of me. And then varicella was really awful."

Lucas grabs Eliott's hand under the table. He's so proud of how far Eliott's come with his bipolar disorder. 

''OKAY. My turn," Thibaud says, "what do you wanna do later?"

"I want to draw," says Eliott, "so maybe I'll do tattoos, or corporate logos, or children's books maybe... I don't really know yet, but it'll have something to do with drawing."

''Until then, I wasn't sure. But with everything we've been through lately, I think I'd like to become a nurse."

''You'd be a cool nurse!'' Theo exclaims and gives him a high five, ''I vote for it.''

''Are you going to get married one day?'' asks Flavien.

Lucas looks at him, surprised by the question.

''Of course, yes'' answers Eliott without hesitation. ''I can't imagine my life without Lucas so I might as well proclaim it in front of everyone.''

Lucas gently shakes hands with Eliott under the table and smiles. Lucy makes a small exasperated groan and the whole table turns towards her.

''Okay, my turn,'' she says, looking at Lucas. ''Have you guys ever been out with girls before?''

Lucas feels the stab directly into her heart.

''Yeah. One. Two weeks. But I wasn't in love.'' Lucas says looking at her. 

''Yeah. Several," says Eliott. And the heart of Lucas tightens a little more.

''So, could you go out with a girl again?'' asks Lucy. And Lucas sees that she is full of hope. He can read it on her face and hear it in her voice.

And Eliott must realize that, too, because his voice is much drier beforehand.

''No. He sure doesn't. My heart belongs to Lucas until the end of time, and in every universe."

Alice pushes a ''ahhh so cute'' across the hallway, arms full of files. Lucy gets up from her chair at the same time, very visibly angry, and starts screaming.

''Well? Why did you kiss me? Don't tell me that kiss doesn't mean anything to you, Eliott."

And Lucas turns to Eliott, who now has his eyes wide open. Alice joins the table and places her hands on Lucy's shoulders to calm her.

''Lucy. No accusations. You know you can't do this every time."

"But it's true!" Lucy moans, tears at the edge of her eyes. 

And Lucas just wants to slap her. And the urge burns even more in his hands when he hears her add: 

''How else would I know he has a tattoo on his chest that says ''Life''."

Alice turns to Eliott incredulous. Eliott is totally absent. His face only expresses the shock. It is as if his spirit had left his body.

''Maybe because we all saw him, when you deliberately spilled the jug of water on his white shirt'' exclaims Theo.

Leo stands up, holding his cell phone, and shows Alice a picture. Alice looks up to the sky and orders the young people to go to their rooms right away. 

"How can you make up such things when I've been trying to help you since I arrived?" asks Eliott, looking Lucy in the eyes.

''I... I... you gotta tell 'em, Eliott. We love each other. I'll be an adult soon. We can both go. I know you liked our kiss."

"Fuck, there was no kissing." Eliott gets pissed off when he stands up.

Lucas puts his hand on his chest to calm him down.

''I swear to God,'' says Eliott, looking at Alice, ''I didn't do anything. I never did anything."

Alice nods her head and takes Lucy to her room, pulling her by the wrist. She signals to Eliott and Lucas to follow them. Alice starts to search Alice's desk and then her wardrobe. When she asks them to move the desk and Lucy falls to her knees crying.

Behind the desk there are dozens of Eliott's drawings surrounded by hearts.

''Lucy. You can't do that. You can't accuse someone of something as serious as this."

''I'm sorry.'' Lucy moans between sobs. ''He's mine. It must be mine. I know it is, I can feel it."

Alice waves the boys out of the room and closes Lucy's door.

''I'm so sorry, Eliott. She's done this before. Four times. When she takes a liking to someone, it makes her sick. I'll talk to the doctors. We'll transfer her."

''What? No, no. I'm sorry. Lucas tried to warn me. Theo too. I should have stayed away. I just..."

Alice puts her hand on Eliott's shoulder.

''None of this is your fault, Eliott. She has to learn to control herself. I hope she can. But in the meantime, she's just gonna get a closer look. Again. That's the hard part of our job here. Sometimes, even with all the goodwill in the world, some kids regress. It's nobody's fault. We're just gonna have to help her in other ways, that's all."

Alice takes the phone out of her pocket.

''I'll take care of her. She's gonna change departments. Go upstairs, relax, and we'll talk about it later. But don't worry, Eliott, we know you're not the cause of this."

Lucas hears a door click and turns his head just in time to see the triumphant faces of Theo and Leo.

''Lucas? Can we go upstairs, please?" asks Eliott in a weak voice.

Lucas slides his hand into his, waves to Alice and they walk together to the stairs.

''Wait, we forgot the surprise girls'' signals Lucas.

He lets go of Eliott's hand, goes back for the box and joins Eliott who looks really livid.

''You must hate me. Well, you were right. You were so right. I should have listened to you."

Lucas caresses Eliott's cheek and kisses him gently.

''I love you, baby. I love that you want to see the beauty in everyone, and I'm sad about what happened. But I love you, baby. I'll always love you. In all the universes, like you said... Come on, let's go upstairs."

''The girls had a surprise delivered'' says Lucas as he arrives on the third floor while Eliott slumps on the couch. 

He finds himself almost immediately surrounded by Mika, Camille, Arthur and Basile. Eliott finds again a small smile when Lucas opens the box and hands him one of his favorite cookies. 

Imane makes chocolate, caramel and pecan cookies and she knows that Eliott could be damned for that. There must be about thirty of them in the box and they are really welcome for the whole group. 

There's a DVD under the cookies, a post it stuck on it.

_''Louis found this. We laughed a lot. It's your turn to laugh now. Thank you guys for a great distraction. Love you !"_

Camille goes to get his laptop and launches the DVD.

As soon as Lucas appears on the screen, with an upside down cap on his head, sitting on the steps of a house, he starts moaning.

''Oh, fuck, Baz. I thought you deleted that."

Basile bursts out laughing as he sees himself on the screen, walking like a gangster, cap upside down and shrugging his shoulders.

''Yeah. I should've. But I made a copy of it and I must have left it at my grandpa's house. I honestly don't know how they found it."

Lucas presses the space bar to pause. He remembers the day they shot that video all too well. They were in tenth grade. He and Basile had lost a fucking bet and had to shoot a remake of the band "Tragedy", the _Hey ho_ song.

''Hey,'' Eliott complains, ''I wanna see it. Come on, I'm sure it'll cheer me up."

Lucas looks up at the sky before he turns to him.

''Oh, yeah. A lot more than you think. But I swear to God, if you ever tell me about that video again, I will kill you."

And Eliott shakes his head and laughs.

''You love me way too much for that.''

''Stop threatening your boyfriend'' Mika grunts, laughing, ''and get that movie back ! We want to see it."

Lucas bends over to give the DVD.

And of course, everyone bursts out laughing as soon as Lucas starts singing. 

_''It's been a long time, I've been calling out from your window, and I can't get through. But no one answers, just give a sign, To show you're there, oh yeah...already two hours  
That downstairs in your house. I'm shouting your name but nobody can hear me. Just a sign will do, just keep your head down, oh! Look who's here._

''Damn, this is a stalker song'' laughs Mika as she holds his ribs ''Oh my God, kitten!''

Lucas moans, but Eliott comes up to him and kisses him on the cheek.

"You were so cute, baby. If I wasn't in love with you, I'd be in love with you right now. Look at you! So cute!"

"Liar" laughs Mika.

"Hey, Lulu," laughs Arthur. "You should have put that song on your post when you were downstairs at Eliott's house waiting for him to write back. It would've been more meaningful than _"Leave a light on"_ "

"Sure it would!" Basile goes on, "Damn, that song was actually written for you!"

Lucas bursts out laughing but is cut off by Eliott who kisses him before turning around to the screen. Lucas looks at his friends laughing while watching Basile singing the refrain. He thinks of his friends who are babysitting and the girls who had to spend an afternoon in the kitchen just to please them.

He looks at Camille and Mika laughing, with Camille huddled entirely in Mika's arms.

He looks at Arthur looking at Basile as if he is discovering one of the wonders of the world.

He looks at himself, at the age of 16, dressed as a rapper, cap upside down, doing a gang check with Basile, Arthur and Yann.

And he knows she's there, his family. Here, on a couch in a mental hospital laughing. And in the nursery. And in the farm. All those people who love and support each other, whatever happens, without ever judging each other. She's there, his family.

He looks at Eliott, who's got a huge smile back on his face. 

That minute is beautiful.

'' Hey, Lulu, you know we're gonna call you the stalker now,right?'' laughs Arthur, making all his friends laugh.

The beautiful minute has passed...


	38. Findings

Lucas looks at his shaking hands and closes his eyes as he inhales. As soon as he closes his eyes, he hears Eliott's voice. He hears everything Eliott said to him this morning before giving him one last encouraging kiss.

_Come on, baby, you can do it. You only have two written exams for the final exams. Just two tests. You can do it. Start with what you know for sure._

Lucas opens his eyes again. Eliott's right. Lucas looks up to look for his friends. In the room where he is, there is Basile rubbing his head, Imane who has already started writing and Yann smiling at Lucas. 

And then Lucas thinks it's true, they are lucky in the end. They only have the two tests now, and then they're done. The rest of the average will be made according to their continuous checks.

Lucas takes a deep breath and picks up his pencil. He has to start with what he knows for sure, math. That at least doesn't need any thinking. We either know or we don't. We know how to find the solution or we move on to another question.

He's looking at the clock. Half the test is over. He takes a deep breath and opens the French exam.

He smiles as he reads the title of their exam, looks again at Basile, Yann, Imane. He's thinking about Arthur, Alexia, Emma and Daphne, who are in the other exam rooms and then bows his head towards his paper. Lucas writes without thinking. Everything comes directly to him. Strangely enough, it's much easier than he thought. Probably because it really speaks to him. He doesn't know if what he writes will be good, or if he's not off topic, but he writes without thinking. 

_You're asking us to describe what has been our most memorable moment in our confinement and why it's been important to us._

_I can't bring myself to describe a single moment during confinement. Because this exceptional event was an accumulation of significant moments._

_Confinement allowed me to discover things I had no idea about. It is as if it opened a new world before my eyes, allowing me to better understand certain things and to realize what is really important to me. Some would call it a prayer of conscience, I would call it a sequence of important events._

_If I had to choose just one event to tell you about, I really wouldn't know which one to choose. I don't think one event would sum up everything I've been through well enough. And the past events would have happened, independently of each other, I don't think so. Each event flowed from the one before it._

_So, yes, there was one event that was more hard to me than the others. Coming back from a nine-day coma due to respiratory failure was pretty significant. It was like waking up in a fog and not knowing how you got there. It was really scary. Seeing the anguish on the faces of everyone you care about too. And of course, being so close to death brought me a real wake-up call. A need for change. It's like life is giving me a second chance to be better. So, of course, I had time to think about all the parts of my life that I wanted to improve._

_Without this experience, I never would have gotten closer to my father. Without it, he would never have realized that it's better to accept his son as he is while he's alive than to regret not having done so if he dies._

_But I can't sum up my confinement to this event._

_I had a gun pointed at me; I saw one of my friends having a fit of dementia; I discovered that every individual, even the most joyful on Earth, had gone through dark times and that even though I thought I was close to my friends, we all had secrets from each other. I saw 13-year-olds fighting against themselves and fighting beside me just for a just cause. I have seen an 80-year-old man encourage his grandson to reveal his feelings to another boy. I saw that love can be beautiful but it can also hurt. I saw that you can do amazing things, just out of friendship. I've seen that you can give up love, for love. I understood that a family is a collection of people who are there for each other, even if they are not related by blood._

_This confinement allowed me to discover many things. A lot of understanding. And now that it's over, you're asking us to name just one event. I think we should be prompted to draw a conclusion about our experiences during containment._

_My conclusion, I borrow from an Oscar Wilde quote: ''Living is the rarest thing. Most people are content to exist."_

_This is what confinement has given me: I decided to live, not just to exist._

Lucas rereads his copy and closes his file. Time's up. He's done with this chapter of his life.

He comes out of the building he's been in for three years smiling. High school is over. 

And contrary to what he thought, he's not afraid. He has no fear of the future. Because his future's right in front of him and he's opening his arms. 

Literally. 

Lucas jumps into Eliott's arms and hugs him while all their friends gather around them. 

All they have to do is live now.


	39. Epilogue

What Lucas likes best about working in the ER is that there's no routine. Days can be totally calm or totally chaotic. And the same day can go from calm to chaotic in less than two minutes. 

And Lucas likes it. 

He likes that intoxicating feeling of being in the middle of the action. He likes to have to run between patients but take his time when he's at their bedside to reassure them. He likes the close contact he can make with most people. He likes to be an anchor for people who are worried about their fate. He likes to know that he is useful. 

But what he hates most about his job is when he meets someone he knows. 

And the worst thing is the little sentence that his colleague Julie comes to tell him while he's taking care of a patient.

''Lucas. Your husband's here."

There's nothing worse than having Lucas' blood freeze. It only takes his four words to make his heart miss a beat. 

"And Theo too."

Ok. This time, these are the worst words there are. Lucas' entire body tightens but he's forced to pull himself together. Lucas can't look up at Julie to see if she's worried or smiling because he has to finish the blood test he's doing. So he concentrates and doesn't let words touch him. 

''Here you go, Mrs. Davis. We're gonna wait for the lab results and we should have some idea what's going on with you. I'm gonna put this down and I'll be right back."

The old lady looks at him smiling and puts her hand on the one Lucas put on her forearm.

"Thank you, young man."

Lucas smiles. He really likes what he's doing. 

He straightens up, looks for Julie's eyes but she is already busy with another patient. He doesn't see Eliott or Theo, so he breathes a sigh of relief. He heads for the entrance airlock. It's really quiet this morning, the waiting room is almost empty.  
There they are. And they look good. No gaping wounds, no broken limbs, no tears... just Eliott smiling, Theo asleep in his arms.

''We're okay, baby.'' says Eliott as he heads towards him.

Lucas sighs again, relieved. He kisses the head of his son who groans in his sleep.

''Lucas, don't wake him up. He's gonna be grumpy the whole trip if he doesn't sleep well this morning.''

Lucas giggles. Eliott's right. And he knows that Eliott is a little worried because it's the first time they've driven so far away with Theo. But Lucas is smiling, everything will be fine. As long as the three of them are together, everything will be fine. 

''Baby? Didn't you forget anything this morning?"

Lucas is thinking. He left before Eliott and Theo were awake, like he usually does when he starts at 5:00am. He had his coffee before he came to work. Then he came straight here... He opens his eyes and puts his hand over his mouth while Eliott starts giggling.

''And yeah. I'm supposed to put our stuff in the car so we can pick you up at 2:00pm when you're done and go straight on holiday. How am I supposed to do that if I don't have the car, baby?"

Lucas starts laughing before he signals Eliott to follow him to the staffroom. Lucas opens his locker and takes the car keys out to give them to Eliott.

''Sorry. Automatism. She's on the first level, aisle E, as usual."

Eliott bends over to kiss his, puts Theo a little more to his right side, without waking him.

''Thank you, baby. I'll see you in a bit. Love you."

Eliott kisses him a second time, pushing him until Lucas' back slaps into the locker room. 

''Lucas. We need some blood gas for Mrs. Davis. I can do it if you want, but I know you're gonna wanna do it."

Eliott immediately backs away and greets Julie. Lucas kisses Theo's perfect little head again before turning to his colleague. 

''Of course. She's my patient. Hands off."

And he returns to his patient, one last loving look for his family.

''So, you're married? You look so young."

Lucas smiles as he pricks Mrs. Davis. 

''Yeah. I get that a lot. I was lucky enough to meet the right man at such an early age. Then why wait? Besides, I'm almost 25."

Mrs. Davis laughs, and Lucas laughs with her. 

''25 years old? Even younger than I thought. But at your age, I'd been married seven years and already had three kids. So I can't say anything. But you're damn right we should enjoy life.''

Lucas smiles as he removes the collection needle.

''Three kids? We only have one. He's 3 months old. So we're gonna wait a little while before we think about expanding the family."

Lucas picks up the swab, sticks the labels on it and heads to the shipping place.

''So? Ready for the holidays?" Julie asks and brings him a cup of coffee.

Julie is a blessing. They have been working together for 2 years and they hit it off right away. She is in her forties and sometimes acts like a friend, sometimes like a mother to Lucas.

''Oh yeah. Totally. We meet our friends in Normandy at a big farm, one of them's grandfather's. He's 86 years old and he's on fire. It's just unbelievable. I hope I'm like him when I'm old."

Julie takes a sip of his coffee and looks at the empty reception room.

''86 and he's living on a farm all by himself?''

Lucas smiles and shakes his head.

''No. His grandson and his husband have been living with him for two years. They wanted to leave the Paris area so they both found jobs there. And every year we meet all our friends there at least twice a year. It's like a big family reunion. We lived there in 2020 during lockdown so it's like our second home for everybody."

''Is that a lot of people?''

Lucas is laughing and nodding. He's counting in his head.  
  
Adults first: Louis, Basile and Arthur who are already there; Him and Eliott; Imane and Sofiane; Camille and Mika; Emma and Tristan; Yann and Sophie; Alexia and Noée. 

And then for the first time, there will be the children, even if for the moment they don't really take up any space: Theo, of course, and Maïa and Inaya, the twins of Imane and Sofiane.

''Absolutely. There, we'll be 15 adults and 3 children. And it's clear that it will continue to grow in the years to come."

Julie starts laughing when she looks at Lucas.

''What?"

''You're still a kid, Lucas. And if all your friends are like you, this must be a really great week's vacation. You better make the most of it!"

Lucas starts laughing. That's totally it. He can't wait!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to everyone who followed this adventure to the end. 
> 
> A big thank you for all your comments that go straight to my heart. 
> 
> Even if this story is over, our confinement is not, so I still have a few ideas for other elu's fic in my head...so I look forward to making you travel again!

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me a little comment, it always pleases me ✍️♥️💔😊☹️


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